


Always Been Mine

by MyrJuhl



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: AR, AU, Cannibalism, F/M, Language, M/M, Minor Character Death, Period Piece, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:38:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 44,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyrJuhl/pseuds/MyrJuhl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two boys grow up very differently in the same city. They learn the same trade but from very different starting points.<br/>Eventually, their paths cross in the most unexpected fashion.<br/>It’s hate at first sight, but they have much more in common than they could ever imagine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** These events never happened. This fic is for entertainment purposes only, not profit. No claim was made through this work as to the fictional characters/ actual lives/ preferences/ activities of the people mentioned herein.  
> Beta: Miss Prfctdaze. My profound gratitude, sweetheart *snuggles*  
> Contributor to the Island Plot: Bee_ta_baby. Thanks, honey beesche. It was such fun :D  
> A/N: The plot is kind of homage to some of my favourite movies/novels: Basil, Master and Commander, Twilight of the Gods, Maurice - amongst others :)

~~~~~~

“Oh, my, Frau Kaulitz, you’re already up and about! And such beautiful children you have!” the hostess spontaneously burst out at the sight of the cutest and tiniest identical baby boys she had ever seen, resting in her visitor’s arms.

“This is Master Wilhelm. He has the little mole on his chin and on my left arm is Master Thomas!” Simone Kaulitz introduced her sons with a proud little nod. Her eyes filled with immense love as her attention was caught by their little faces for the hundredth time that day already.

Naval Officer Jörg Kaulitz and his wife were visiting friends and brought along their infant twin boys, Thomas and Wilhelm. Simone was feeling well enough to rise from her bed after a few weeks of recovery from the birth of their sons. The children were a miracle after years of trying, but not having had any luck. In their mid thirties, they were finally blessed. The naval officer and his wife had brought along a nanny for the visit, making it effortless for a social call. Besides, their friends wanted to see their children. Proudly, they showed off their tiny offspring and everybody cooed at their tiny little hands and faces. 

Then one of the babies started crying and, sure enough, the other boy joined in. The nanny quickly took them out of the tea salon and prepared for a stroll in the solid carriages specially built with suspension at the tyres which, they’d been told, was a novelty and made pushing the carriages less strenuous. Obviously, the nanny couldn’t stroll two at the same time, and wished someone would invent twin carriages. But while she sat in the kitchen, a maid from the household offered to push the second carriage, and they both thought it was a good idea to spend an hour walking the children, and were soon off.

In the beginning, they chatted away cheerfully, fussing over the fact the babies were exactly four weeks old that day. The nanny thought the task could be accomplished in no time this way. The twins fell asleep instantly, resting on laced pillows and soft covers. However, after half an hour of eager walking, she suddenly realised she had lost her companion and the second carriage holding Wilhelm. Looking around confused and anxious, she wondered what had happened and how she had failed not to notice when the maid stopped following her. Worried she backtracked her path, but still didn’t find the maid and Wilhelm. Worry was replaced by fear and, in haste, she returned to her lordship’s hosts’ house. There she found out that the maid had returned, but that she no longer had Wilhelm or his carriage in her possession. 

When questioned, the maid seemed to have no clue what the big deal was and, horrified, the nanny and the Kaulitzes were informed by their hosts that the maid was simple-minded. Pushing the issue would not clarify where she had dropped the missing twin. The maid had vaguely suggested she had given the child to an orphanage, but which facility she had no recollection. Immediately, a search party was instigated by the police and, following their lead, Naval Officer Kaulitz joined them as they asked for news of the child in every orphanage in Hamburg they knew of.

~~~~~~

“Yes?” Frau Buchholz asked, seeing the police at her door along with a distinguished looking naval officer. Instantly, she knew what these people wanted; they were here to ask questions about the infant she received a few hours ago.

“Have you received any babies today? Preferably within a few hours?” the police officer asked gravely.

“He’s easily recognised. He has a soft mole on his chin,” the naval officer added, his features looking very sad and urgent.

Frau Buchholz hesitated. Greedily, she wanted to sell the baby. She already had a persistent buyer and she wanted that money. If she gave away the baby to his rightful father, she’d miss that money, and it wasn’t going to happen. Making up her mind and setting her own features sorrowfully on behalf of the unfortunate parent, she regrettably informed them.

“I’m sorry. But I have received no children today.”

The naval officer’s eyes almost died in front of her, but she was determined with her decision. 

Closing the door, she hastened to her office and made arrangements for Herr Mertz and his wife to come and collect their baby and thereby finish their business transaction. By now, they had impatiently waited for a baby boy for some time, but mostly infant girls were dropped off at the orphanage. Nervously, she sat waiting for one of the larger kids to deliver the message and shortly after he had returned, a horse driven vehicle came by carrying the Mertz couple. Looking out of the window, she saw them step out of the wagon and approach her house with purposeful swiftness. As soon as the gentleman pulled the doorbell, Frau Buchholz stood ready by the door and bid them to enter.

“Where is our son?” Herr Mertz demanded immediately. His wife had shiny eyes and was looking so excited that Frau Buchholz thought she might hover above the ground. 

“This way, your lordship,” the orphanage keeper said, as she showed them the way to her office and with a glance made sure the infant still looked as presentable as possible. He was still dressed in his lace trimmings handmade baby attire, so that was easily accomplished. Picking him up in his prettily embroidered covers, she handed him over to the woman. The beautiful lady melted on the spot and pressed the softly wrapped adorable boy to her bosom. Without any further word, her husband handed over the agreed amount of Deutschmarks to Frau Buchholz.

“How old is he?” Frau Mertz asked.

Frau Buchholz happened to know this, because the confused girl who had donated the baby had offered a bit of information. “To my knowledge, he was born four weeks ago to this day. September the first.” Hesitating, she suddenly added, “His name is Wilhelm.”

“We’ll decide what to call our son ourselves,” Herr Mertz grunted, touching his hat before guiding his family out of her office; however his wife already babbled baby talk to the child, calling him Bill.

Shrugging, Frau Buchholz counted her money eagerly; unaware that the Kaulitz family would have tripled the amount just to get their son back.

~~~~~~

When Bill went about to sail the ocean as the lousiest cook known to man, he didn’t have many options left behind him. 

Being the son of the widowed banker Heinrich Mertz, Bill had been supported all his life having whatever he wanted coming at him – except a social life. He was an eager undergraduate at King’s College, University of Hamburg, and even though he had acquaintances, he didn’t really have close friends due to his father’s strict attitude towards proper company. He never took kindly to his children having casual friends to influence them. Apparently, none was adequate, and Bill and his younger sister Berta – grew up with only each other to play with.

One time in July, as Bill spent the yearly vacation on the family’s summer estate ‘Mertz Halls’, Bill took a swim in the lake associated to the property. Bill liked swimming in the morning, and would strip naked and float for a while, enjoying the cool water around his body. It gave him much freedom to explore his body, too. He felt totally monitored when his father was around, and he dared not leave any stains for the maid to find on his sheets. He hadn’t forgotten how his father had acted when he was younger and demanded an explanation why Bill’s sheets were stained with his release. He couldn’t give any because it happened in his sleep. The maid was still in his family’s service, and Bill knew she reported back what evidence she found to his father. Bill even suspected his father slept with her - if the suspicious noises coming from the master bedroom when Bill occasionally passed by at that hour of the night were any indication.

As Bill swam further out along the shore, his body suddenly cramped. Trying not to panic, he quickly realised he was in deep trouble.

“Somebody! Help me!” he cried out before his head disappeared below the water. Shortly before he lost consciousness, he felt someone intervene and pull him out of the water’s depth and towards safety.

The next thing he experienced was being kissed soundly by a person. Then air was blown into his lungs, and water poured out of his mouth as he was manhandled into lying on his side. He coughed and heaved for oxygen simultaneously for a while, before he was coherent enough to take a look at his rescuer.

“Hey...” a blond man said.

“Hello,” Bill replied timidly, he hadn’t forgotten the hot kiss... his first. 

“I’m Andreas. I... For a moment out there, I thought you were a...” the man said, but stopped.

“You thought I was a what?” Bill asked.

“Nothing,” Andreas said and shrugged. 

Bill looked more closely. His rescuer was a barely older than Bill, and he decided he didn’t know anybody by the name Andreas. He looked nice though – even with his clothes all wet and... Shocked, Bill suddenly realised he was still naked, and that the man was looking strangely at his body. Bill’s eyes darted around for his garments, and Andreas got up and found them for him.

“Here. You’d probably want to get dressed.”

Bill nodded, and stood up on shaky legs. Turning his backside to Andreas, he quickly dressed even though his skin was still wet.

“You live around here?” Andreas asked.

“Yeah. Yes. I live at ‘Mertz Halls’,” Bill said.

“Cool,” Andreas said and smiled. “You’re a servant or something?”

Bill frowned. No, he most certainly wasn’t a servant. “No... My father owns this estate.”

Andreas narrowed his eyes. “Really?”

“I just said so, didn’t I? I’m sure he’ll thank you for saving me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Bill felt indignant to say the least.

“That’s okay. Maybe we could be friends?” Andreas said, completely catching Bill off guard.

“F-friends?” he asked, insecurely.

“Yeah,” Andreas said with a winning smile and shrugged. “I don’t have any friends here, and my folks just moved here.”

Bill shrugged back. Usually working class people, peasants, didn’t keep their kids around much longer than after they had had their confirmation by the age of 14. Usually, they were sent to serve some farm and they never returned. Maybe Andreas was different. Maybe his dad was dead, and he kept his mother and younger siblings with sustenance. He didn’t ask, though. Didn’t think it was his business to snoop.

Andreas refused to meet Bill’s father to get a reward, and his actions scored a lot of goodwill points with Bill. Andreas seemed genuine. So when the tall blond began to appear at any time of the day seeking Bill’s company, the reserved young man gladly accepted the thrill of a secret friendship.

Bill developed a fascination, a crush on his new friend Andreas. He was willing to do anything to skulk his way into meeting Andreas in Hamburg throughout his summer vacation. In Andreas, Bill confided all his secret desires and longing. Andreas was a good listener and Bill’s crush didn’t diminish one bit even though Andreas wasn’t reciprocating his feelings.

~~~~~~

Then Andreas introduced him to a cunning wench by the name of Katharina Engel. Bill was perplexed by the new batch of attention thrown at him, and another crush hit his solar plexus, although not as strongly as how he reacted towards Andreas. But he loved the attention he was now getting from both Andreas and Katharina, and that turned him on.

Then suddenly, Andreas began to grease the amicably relationship between Bill and Katharina.

“Don’t you find her intriguing? Decadent?” he would ask when it was just the two of them.

In a sense, Andreas’ questions were confusing, because Bill didn’t really find Katharina to possess any of the mentioned virtues. She was a lot of _fun_ , but in Bill’s opinion, Andreas was the intriguing one. But he liked to please Andreas and played along, pretending he did find Katharina a nice catch.

Once he accidentally voiced that, Andreas changed his tactics and Bill felt strongly how aggressively his friend was trying to couple he and Katharina together. Before Bill knew it, in mid August, he had let Andreas lull him into become engaged to be married - with Katharina’s father’s blessing – and Andreas’, too, ‘who couldn’t be happier on his two best friends’ behalf’. The only catch was that Bill was going to inherit 20,000.00 Deutschmarks in advance along with ‘Mertz Halls’ on his twenty-first birthday a few weeks ahead. He hinted that to Andreas, and now realised that his friend had used this information to smooth Katharina’s sudden interest where previously she had been quite neutral. Andreas beamed with happiness and that prompted Bill to go even further, grandly promising his upcoming father-in-law that his daughter would get the summer residence as a wedding gift. 

Only, there was no way he could tell his own father of these plans.

~~~~~~

Bill returned to his studies at the University after the quick arrangements took place, and when the actual wedding happened a few days later, he skipped class to attend. Andreas and his father-in-law were the only ones present besides the uncomfortable couple to be wed. Katharina responded according to tradition, and Bill half-heartedly gave his similar responses. They were now man and wife and Bill had no clue what he’d gotten himself into. He didn’t really love Katharina. He doubted she loved him either. He could have done worse, he supposed. However, Andreas looked happy enough for the both of them, and to Bill that was really all that mattered. He had hoped he could spend some time with both Andreas and Katharina, but Andreas announced he had to get back to work, and Katharina looked inclined to go home with her dad. Bill stood back on the pavement and stared at her. Then she let go of her father’s arm, walked forward, and kissed Bill’s cheek with an almost irritated air on her pretty visage.

“Come by for dinner later, Wilhelm,” his new father-in-law said cheerfully. “I’m positively disappointed that your father and sister didn’t attend the wedding, though. Would have insisted on discussing some financial details as soon as possible.” And then they climbed into the carriage and left Bill all by himself.

Slowly, Bill nodded, dazedly. He’d wanted to convince them that his family was travelling abroad, but he never got the chance to even tell them. And he felt they honestly wouldn’t have given a damn, judging by the speed of their departure. His eyes followed them until he couldn't see the carriage anymore. Only then did he sigh and walk back to school.

Bill couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day, and knew he was going to feel very self-conscious around his bride and her family. Katharina seemed like a different person, and Bill wondered if that’s what marriage did to you? Did he seem different, too? He would have to ask Andreas. He had promised to be there tonight. At least it would all be worth it just to see the look of praise on Andreas’ face. But first, he would have to make arrangements to slip away after dinner at his own house.

~~~~~~

“Aren’t you going to eat some more?”

“No, I’m not really hungry, father,” Bill replied. And he really wasn’t. His stomach was clenching nervously at the thought of slipping away and joining Katharina and her father for dinner.

“You look a little pale, Billy,” Berta commented.

“I might feel slightly off,” Bill said and smiled weakly at her.

“Go to bed and I’ll have the staff send you something to calm down,” Heinrich said from behind his newspaper.

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll manage. Goodnight, father. Goodnight Berta,” Bill said to his family and left the table.

Since no one expected him to show up for the rest of the evening, Bill had no problems getting out of the house unnoticed, and hurriedly took a cab to Engel’s address.

Waiting for a few minutes in the hallway for the staff to acknowledge him, Bill was taken to the dining room at once and shown a seat across from Andreas and Katharina. Politely, everyone greeted him in turn, but it didn’t make Bill feel like a part of the family, rather like a guest. 

Bill keenly felt like the third wheel, and wondered what he was doing here in the first place, when no one really seemed interested in his company. He couldn’t help noticing how well the chemistry worked between his wife and best friend. It was nice that Katharina and Andreas were amicably towards each other. What his eyes otherwise caught of interaction between the two, he decided to disregard. They had been friends long before Bill met Andreas – that would explain why Andreas sent Katharina those special looks. Occasionally, Andreas sent Bill a few approving glances, and he smiled back. It made him feel better. Katharina completely ignored him and barely answered when he asked her if she was well. The things he normally had been able to talk to her about seemed difficult to recall now. Bill was tongue tied, and extremely uncomfortable. The lovely dinner he was presented by in this house was just as wasted as the one at home. Bill couldn’t squeeze a single bite down. In honesty, he just wanted to go home and forget about the whole thing. But that wasn’t possible. He had a wife now... and looking at Andreas and her, he seriously wondered what he was supposed to do with Katharina. She obviously was going to live here until ‘Mertz Halls’ became his. 

Dear god, he regretted this so much right now.

Suddenly, his father-in-law, Herr Engel, paid some interest in him and asked him several technical questions; especially those of financial value, even though Bill had no answers. He had nothing to do with his father’s business, yet. The plan was that Bill was going to work in the bank when he graduated next year. Obviously, the man wanted to be sure his daughter was well taken care of in her new marriage. Bill answered the best he could. He would be getting the papers to the house a week later, and only then would Katharina be able to move into the estate.

Bill wondered how life would be around her. Usually, she was a fun girl, and he imagined Andreas would stop by often, perhaps even move in with them. He thought his life was moving in the right direction. After graduation, he would be spending more quality time with them and they could travel. Most of all, he would not be living at home. He would also be living at the estate, and that aspect filled him with hope after all.

Bill realised he would have to tell his father about the marriage soon. He was sure... or rather he hoped that would work itself out smoothly. He’d have to marry someone someday anyway, and Katharina came from a proper family of tailors.

That evening was only the second time Bill had set his foot in Katharina’s home since he’d asked for her hand in marriage. Bill’s father-in-law kept asking him more questions about his financial situation and especially about ‘Mertz Halls’. In the end, he seemed satisfied for now, and Katharina asked Bill to join her for a walk through the house.

Andreas claimed he had to go, and Bill wasn’t sure what the plans were by now. He had hoped Andreas would have come with them, but Katharina sprung smoothly from ignoring Bill all night to wanting his attention solely. She seemed quite adamant on bringing Bill alone. After the general tour, Katharina invited him to join her in her room. When they both sat on her pretty damask couch, she leaned against him; her intentions were very clear. Dutifully, albeit awkwardly, Bill made advances to her, because he felt that she expected him to. She let him kiss her lips and touch her attributes, but in all honesty, Bill thought she seemed bored by his touch and it was a huge turn off. When he stopped touching her all together, she changed her mind, practically demanding that he undress her and after that himself.

Katharina lay naked and lustfully in front of him, and Bill looked nervously at her feminine body. She seemed delicate and he had no idea what do with her. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he hadn’t seen a naked girl before. Not even Berta when they were small. And yet, the sight of her beautiful body didn’t set Bill’s loins on fire, but clearly she expected him to take action, and clumsily he touched her. Immediately, she put his hand between her legs and he tried to give her what she wanted. Then she sat up and touched him, trying to arouse him, stroking his soft cock and eventually using her mouth to give him an erection. Eventually, she succeeded and the most awkward sex occurred between them. Then it was done, and Bill had had his first sexual experience and he hadn’t enjoyed any aspect of it. Katharina bluntly told him to go home as soon as possible. No cuddles or tenderness was to be had with her, and her coldness came as a shock to Bill. He couldn’t recognise her anymore. It was like she was a different person from the friend he had married. He hoped the wedding was simply upsetting her in a way, and he sure hoped she would get over it or else he didn’t really see how they were supposed to function socially. Regarding the intimacy between them - he shuddered with discomfort. They would have to talk about that. The mechanical way the union between them had taken place was upsetting Bill, and he seriously wished he’d be able to perform better next time. She would figure out soon enough that she didn’t arouse him, and that would be even more upsetting.

~~~~~~

Bill returned home, sneaking in unnoticed like he did when he left earlier in the evening. Taking off his clothes, Bill fell on his bed in just his undergarments. Getting comfortable in his own bed, Bill thought hard on the whole subject. By now, he openly regretted the whole affair even more now that he understood he had reacted without thinking rationally about the consequences. Embarrassment filled him once more; thinking about the sex he endured with Katharina had been embarrassing. She’d hardly uttered a word and when they were done, she hurriedly covered up herself. Now that the wedding night had been effectuated, she didn’t want Bill to see her body anymore, as if she expected Bill would want to. A normal husband would have wanted to, but Bill had no desires whatsoever to see her undressed. Bill wondered if the marriage could be annulled. He had to talk to Andreas about it. He certainly couldn’t mention it to Herr Engel. And there was still his own father to include in the embarrassing matter.

As his thoughts drifted towards Andreas, Bill felt himself harden and, self-consciously, his hand found his cock inside his underwear. Thinking about Andreas when he masturbated instantly made him feel good, and he murmured his friend’s name as he came. A feeling that left him completely satisfied, but still frustrated. Andreas didn’t reciprocate his feelings... neither did Katharina. On some level, Bill worried that maybe it was himself who was unappealing. That the reason neither Andreas nor Katharina really wanted him was because of his looks? Bill bit his lip and sighed. Well, there wasn’t much he could do about that. He was a product of how his father had raised him. He knew he was timid, obedient, weak, and lacked a certain masculine stroke. If that came forth in his facial features, too, then Bill supposed that was why women were never drawn to him if he was so unattractive.

Getting up from the bed, Bill went to the adjacent bathroom and stood in front of the small mirror above the lion's claw porcelain bath sink to clean up. It wouldn’t do smelling the way he did. It would always lead to questions. Removing the smell of his and Katharina’s coupling, Bill went back to bed. His life was miserable and it only reflected his mood.

~~~~~~

In the following days, Katharina didn’t contact Bill other than telling him that she wasn’t ready to move out of her father’s house. She would wait for some time, and Bill accepted that. He hadn’t gotten the deed yet, so technically, Katharina couldn’t move into ‘Mertz Halls’ yet. Bill didn’t have an opinion on the matter other than he wasn’t really keen on meeting her yet. He was still hurt and embarrassed about his mistake. The less he saw her the less he would think of her, and instead spend his time gathering the courage to tell his father the news of his new in-laws. 

Bill’s 21st birthday was a quiet affair. Since he couldn’t really invite friends his father wouldn’t approve of – Andreas, who wasn’t available judging by the only response he gave to one of Bill’s telegrams, and there was no way he would introduce his wife under these circumstances. Bill had to endure a small formal dinner with his family.

Heinrich had stood up and raised his glass, a rare proud smile had graced his features when he congratulated his son and handed him the deed to the property, including the house key.

“Thank you, Father,” Bill said, sighing almost with relief.

“Here is...” Heinrich put a convoluted document on the table as well. “This gives you the power of attorney to access your trust fund, Wilhelm.”

Bill looked at his father for more information, because there was always more. 

“However...” Heinrich predictably added.

Bill gritted his teeth in a forced smile.

“I will have Herr Wollmar from the bank, monitor your withdrawals. If you do not spend them wisely, I will demand a valid explanation from you, young man. I will demand to see the receipts.”

“Yes, Father,” Bill said. He had no other alternative. “I will inspect the house in the weekend.”

“There won’t be any need for that, Wilhelm. You’re in school, and it’s hardly summer...” Heinrich began.

“Oh, let him, Father,” Berta interrupted with a charming smile. “He’s very happy about owning the Residence. He can’t wait to inspect it as its proper lord and master - and dare I say, move in?”

“Move in?” Heinrich looked surprised. “Well, by all means then. I suppose I’m happy, too. It was your mother’s wedding gift from me. I just assumed you would wait until you got married, Son.”

“Well, about that...” Bill said.

“But that point has hardly arisen yet!” Heinrich chuckled and killed Bill’s weak chance to approach the subject of Katharina Engel.

~~~~~~

Much to Bill’s chagrin, Katharina came to visit him in school, and he had no idea how to introduce her to his peers, who mostly leered at her so he didn’t. She didn’t take it personally. As it were, her only purpose was to inquire about the progress of his financial situation, and Bill felt more like her father’s business partner by the way she treated him than her husband which wasn’t the first time. But he managed to tell her that the money had finally come through as was also the case with the deed.

“Excellent, Wilhelm. I shall move in this weekend. You may come and visit me. I insist.” And then she left him.

Bill gaped after her. _Wilhelm?_ She always called him Bill. And she invited _him_ to come and visit her? As if she wouldn’t allow him to enter ‘Mertz Halls’, if she wasn't present, too? This was so wrong, and Bill felt that the rug had been pulled from under his feet. How could such a delicate little person be so controlling? So calculating? Bill wasn’t sure he could handle it any more. He needed to tell his father. Something needed to be done.

A few days later, he was wired a bill for the cost of textile materials for a tailor... purchased by Frau Wilhelm Mertz. Bill’s heart was ready to explode – what if his father was presented this bill? He tried to contact Katharina’s father but he was not available. Bill couldn’t believe how alone he was in this world and especially why he hadn’t foreseen any of this. The only person he wanted to talk to wasn’t there either; Andreas seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth, and Bill desperately needed his advice now.

“Off to see ‘Mertz Halls’?” Berta asked Bill cheerfully on Friday.

Bill nodded, knowing he must be looking ill, but Berta didn’t seem to notice. “Want me to join you?”

“Ah, no. Thanks Berta. I need to get on top of things by myself.”

“Of course. Well. Enjoy your visit, Bill.”

Bill just nodded and took off in a cab heading for what, he had no idea.

At ‘Mertz Halls’, he found a handful of staff that seemed very confused, and even more so when Bill couldn’t clue them in. There were a few people who looked like guests, but Bill couldn’t be sure. They completely ignored him. Eventually, Bill found Katharina in his mother’s old chambers. They looked like she had had everything redone in the few days Katharina had been there.

“Katharina? We need to talk,” Bill said, but that’s all that came out of his mouth, when she draped herself all over him and, gulping, he knew what she wanted. And dear lord, he _so_ did not. But she got her will, and he couldn’t say if she was satisfied or not, because this time, she didn’t care whether he showed her some attention or not. And like the last time, he was discarded like an object she was bored with. Bill just stood watching her. She was a stranger that had taken his name and money gladly, but she honestly had no use for him. “Leech,” he whispered, and she just stared back at him with a small shrug.

“Thanks for stopping by, Bill.”

“What is it you want?” Bill asked.

Coyly she pouted. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you know, Husband dearest.”

Bill shook his head and quickly stepped out of her rooms to find someplace where he could throw up. 

“You need to toughen up, Billy,” a well known voice said to him as he came out of the rest room. 

“Andreas!” Bill cried out in surprise at seeing his friend here. “At last! Where have you been?”

“I went travelling for a few days.”

“Days! It’s been weeks. I haven’t seen you since the wedding.”

“Yeah. Are you happy?”

Bill looked at him like he was crazy. “No. I can hardly recognise Katharina. What’s going on? She acts like I’m not wanted in her life.”

“Women need a strong hand, Billy,” Andreas laughed. “They like to be taken, to get bejewelled.”

“I don’t have that kind of money. Especially not by the way she likes to spend them.” Bill kept from commenting on the ‘taken’ part, because touching Katharina forcefully was probably the last thing he wanted to do.

Andreas waved his hand like Bill’s problem was a minor set back. “But you will get more money when you get a job in your father’s business. And she’ll be the perfect hostess in your home.”

Bill just stared at his friend. “I don’t know how I can...”

“You _have_ told your father by now, right?” Andreas asked.

“No. It would seem that I can’t find the opportune moment to tell him.”

“You should probably do that soon.” 

“Andreas, could I ask...”

“I’ve got to go. I promised I’d play cards with the boys,” Andreas laughed. “Wanna join us?”

“No. I...”

“Shame. I’ll see you around, Bill!” Andreas jogged to reach the rooms downstairs, leaving Bill shocked and at a loss for words. Completely disillusioned by the lack of Andreas’ interest in his desperate situation, Bill had to return home.

The next week, Bill got a telegram telling him that Katharina was pregnant. Bill had only had sex with her twice, and already she was pregnant. More demands for payment turned up and eventually Bill was asked to produce receipts for these questionable purchases. He only had access to 20,000 Deutschmarks and Katharina knew that. Yet still, she had spent almost 1,500 since they got married and on what? Extravagant dresses. Bill was far from graduating, and still not allowed to move in with her. It was a preposterous situation. And now she was pregnant. Bill had to explain to her the consequences if she continued this way and, to his huge relief, her father was on Bill’s side on the matter.

~~~~~~

Six weeks after the wedding, Bill found Katharina in bed with Andreas. Instead of responding to the horrific wakeup call presented to him, he watched them through the half open door as they tumbled energetically on top of the sheets. They never realised he saw them and, being honed for years by his upbringing not to show his emotions, Bill quietly left the beautiful residence, feeling cheated and utterly brainless. Andreas, whom he’d adored, right from the start, set him up. He truly deserved this because he was stupid enough to fall for their tricks. Obviously, Andreas was the one who had gotten Katharina with child, and yet as long as Bill and Katharina were married, the baby would bear his name. Become his heir. Numb, Bill returned home and only now felt inclined to spill the dirty secret to his father and explain how he had administrated his wealth – and that he in fact had married behind his back.

“Well,” Heinrich said, letting his fingertips touch in front of his face as he regarded his son. “So you got a little bitch pregnant, married her, and let her waste your money away?”

“No!” Bill cried out. “That wasn’t the way it happened at all! My friend impregnated her...”

“She stole the deed from under your nose and now you’re empty-handed. You haven’t even had the property for one whole month?! That’s how you thank me?” Heinrich thundered, undeterred.

Bill closed his eyes, utterly humiliated. But his father’s harsh words were true. Katharina wasn’t any better than a whore and she had cheated him of his property. He couldn’t really grasp what he had been thinking when he let himself get talked into it by Andreas; obviously, his former friend just wanted a huge part of the pie... Well all of it, and Bill had been so incredibly easy to manipulate in his pathetic hunger for a friend.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson, Wilhelm. I will disown you, cut off all your funds until you can prove you can take care of yourself properly. Leave this house.”

“But Father!” Bill appealed. 

“At once, Wilhelm.”

“But college!”

“You should have thought about that,” Heinrich concluded, his eyes emotionless.

“How can you do this to your own son?” Bill asked. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Dear, clueless Wilhelm. You were never the fruits of my loins. Your mother and I adopted you. Only god knows the nature of the whore who left you abandoned at the orphanage we got you from. I will see to that your marriage is annulled. I don’t need a grandson from that slut on top of this.”

Bill stood frozen for a few seconds before the words sank in. “Adopted?” he asked hoarsely, but Heinrich just stood up stiffly and left the room without any further explanation.

Bill shuddered and finally understood that there was nothing he could say to make his father change his mind. His skinny legs gave up supporting him and he sat down heavily on a chair for a while. There was literally nothing left in his world, and when the butler arrived with his coat and hat, Bill knew it was a polite request for him to leave the house. Bill didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to Berta before he stood back in the street, with no other clothes but the ones he wore that day. He couldn’t return to ‘Mertz Halls’. He didn’t even own the place. She did.

~~~~~~

The first night, Bill spent in an inn. It was cheap enough and he didn’t have to be ashamed for stopping by such a place. He felt completely miserable and took Andreas’ advice and tried to toughen up and not look like the loser he truly was. So the next morning he went looking for a job or else he wouldn’t be able to stay at the inn much longer. He hadn’t finished his studies, so he wasn’t fully capable to possess employment in a bank yet, but his father had many connections so maybe he could fulfil his studies while working in another bank.

The first one where he tried his luck, the manager regrettably had nothing for him and Bill accepted that, but when every business who had connections to his father gave him the same message, Bill began to see the pattern. His father had wired them, telling them not to help his ungrateful son. But how would Bill be able to become independent the way his father had requested if he prevented him from finding a job? Finally, he went to his father’s bank to withdraw money. However, to his shock, Herr Wollmar informed him that his funds had literally been cut off, and Bill found himself moneyless but for the notes in his wallet. His father had distinctively told Herr Wollmar to inform Bill that he would not be granted an audience and discuss his financial situation. Bill hadn’t asked for this information and getting it made him feel like he was an unwanted customer. The man didn’t look him in the eye and Bill left. 

_Adopted..._ His father’s words had run through his mind many times since he left his childhood home, and in the hopeless moments where he sought finding a job, Bill tried to cope with the news. No wonder his father had never really displayed any kind of affection for him, nor paid much interest in him other than expecting that he got into college and did satisfactorily. Admittedly, Bill struggled to follow the other students’ levels during lectures. He wasn’t interested in finance at all. He didn’t really know what he liked career wise, but business wasn’t what called to his heart and intellect. Maybe art, but he had never dared voicing that to his father. 

His mother died while giving birth to Berta. Bill assumed his little sister showing up in their family must have been a great and wonderful surprise, in spite of causing their mother’s untimely demise; a true joy compared to the disappointment of acquiring Bill must have been. He never really knew his mother. He was only three years old when she died. 

So, he wasn’t their real son. He was just added to the family. Of course, that would make it rather simple for his father to just subtract his existence again when Bill didn’t live up to what he had expected of him. It would be as if he had never been part of the family in the first place. 

Going to bed that night, Bill was filled with misery and a feeling of complete worthlessness. _Cheated. Disowned. Adopted._ Those subjects were still a lot to take in. He needed to belong somewhere and his own family sure didn’t want him. Maybe it was for the best he wasn’t welcome there anymore. He would simply have to start from scratch. Tears spilled from his eyes. Being rejected from everyone hurt so much, and the feeling that it had never been his destiny to make it in the Mertz family truly manifested itself in his mind. Everybody had pulled the rug from under his feet: his mother, Andreas, Katharina and now his father and certain people in the city. Nobody wanted him in their lives when it came down to it. Maybe Berta would miss him. She was a silly girl, but she always showed him she cared. It would probably be best if he didn’t sully her life with his own miserable one. Perhaps some day they could meet again when Bill was getting better at administering himself. As of now, he was no good to anybody.

Bill knew he wouldn't get a job in the banking business he was most suitable for, the right one for a person of his class, so... squeezing his eyes shut, Bill realised he would have to look elsewhere. However, even with the qualifications he did possess, he would have to lower his standards quite a bit. He was strangely all right with that.

~~~~~~

The following morning Bill woke up. Reminded once more of how his family and so called friends had treated him, Bill had to face another day to deal with the same harsh reality he had struggled with yesterday, too. Sitting in bed and mulling things over, Bill realised he was slowly getting angry. He had never been allowed to show his feelings at home. Everything had been so strict, so proper and utterly humourless, and always according to his father’s wishes. Only towards Berta and Andreas had Bill really dared to express different masks. Bill shed some more tears and felt he deserved them. As his misery once more poked at his hurt feelings, Bill felt something he had suppressed for much too long rise inside him. He got up, got dressed, and purposefully stepped into the street before he lost the courage. Taking the time to walk to his father’s bank, Bill walked straight into the building and sought out Herr Wollmar to stand in front of him.

“Fuck you!” he yelled at the stunned man. “Yes, I said fuck you!” Bill announced to the equally shocked clients already gathered for today’s financial trade. “Fuck you, too,” Bill saluted them suggestively. “Fuck you. Father!” Bill spat venomously. Then he marched out again feeling a strange arousal from shouting filth like that in public. He knew he had burned some bridges but he felt his father deserved that from having acted the way he did.

Bill ran his fingers through his blond hair and put some loose strands behind his ear. What to do now, he wondered. Deep in thought, his feet took him to parts of Hamburg he usually never ventured alone. But the salty smell of the sea and the intriguing commotion created by working class citizens drew him closer to the harbour quarters. He got a hearty eyeful of the multifaceted culture associated with this part of town. He also hoped to assess the job possibilities. 

Buying himself a bit of early lunch from a market, he nibbled on that as he carried on. 

Bill knew it was probably dangerous to look the way he did; rich and spoiled. And he did get many looks of distrust and outright hostility when he caught someone’s eye. Others sent him appreciative looks he couldn’t decipher, and they came from both men and women. They all made Bill feel very self-conscious and he understood it might have to do with his clothes. He had to get plainer ones like the style the people around this place wore. Bill couldn’t afford to buy some, and doubted that kind of clothing were anything but homemade. Perhaps someone would be willing to trade theirs for his? Bill only had to ask an old man once and, as soon as he changed into those plain clothes, he immediately felt his old life disappear, too. It was rather astonishing how much it mattered what clothes you wore to brand you a certain type of person, and Bill realised how much better he blended in with the population. He noticed a large group of men gathered at a busy street. Approaching carefully, Bill realised it was an efficient kind of placement service. You show up and, if you’re lucky, you might get picked for a day’s work.

Obviously, some people actually lived this way and earned their keeping so haphazardly. Bill knew he had to give it a go and see where it took him. He didn’t really have that many options, so he might as well be picked as any other of these men.

“Plumber job in Hopfenstraβe!”

“Here!” several men shouted and a couple were picked out.

“Strong arms for dragging sacks of coal later this afternoon. Show up at 1pm.”

“Here!” even more men cried out. Bill rapidly understood that he had to be quick about it to raise his voice - even if the job was less appealing like dragging coal.

“A cook is requested for ‘Der Komet’!”

“Me!” Bill heard himself cry out and, to his shock, he was picked for the job, since no one else had responded quick enough. The shock turned to horror when he realised that he’d applied for a position at a ship, cooking meals for her crew. Getting what papers the announcer had for him, Bill walked away and further down the harbour tried to orientate himself. There were so many ships anchored, and Bill tried to narrow down which ship he was hired for by small talking with a variety of sailors and midshipmen who were soon going abroad themselves. Soon, he finally found the ship. How on earth was he going to pull off bluffing the crew to believe he could cook? At the same time, his stomach was filled with excitement. Just doing this was the wildest thing he’d ever done – everything taken into consideration. If he got on that ship nothing would ever be the same, and he would be able to take that with him.

Some dark skinned sailor leaning against the railing glanced at him as Bill nervously made his way up the ship gangway. Tipping his hat, the sailor asked with a grin, “Who are _you_ , luv?”

Bill stopped his ascend. “I’m Wil... I’m Bill. I’m the... cook?” Bill stopped talking and realised how insane it all was trying to go through with it.

The man grinned at him openly. “Is that a fact, sweetheart?”

Bill nodded uncomfortably at the pet names from a stranger and then abruptly he turned around to walk back to shore. He didn’t get more than one step, when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“And why would you be the cook, kid?” the man asked.

“I was hired,” Bill said, frowning at the even lesser appreciated term ‘kid’.

“That’s terrific. Let’s get you settled then, _chef_ ,” the man said, and Bill could have sworn he detected a humorous tone somewhere in that comment and he didn’t find that appropriate at all. Nevertheless, he was already taken below deck and walked in front of the man as he guided him through many long corridors with abrupt stops and turns. Finally, they were in what could only be the galley.

“I’m Anis Ferchichi but everybody calls me Bushido or Butcher,” the man said to Bill. “Know why?”

Bill swallowed. “Because you’re the chef?” he whispered.

“Because I’m the chef, Little Chef.” Bushido grinned, for the reason that Bill was hardly little. He was more like twenty centimetres taller than the man himself. 

“Why would ‘Der Komet’ need a cook then? The position _was_ announced in the harbour.”

“Maybe because this isn’t ‘Der Komet’”, Bushido laughed and put his heavy hand back on Bill’s shoulder.

“Aahhh. Funny,” Bill said. That would explain everything. “Well,” he added smoothly. “I should be going then.”

“Sweetie,” Bushido said, “there is no way you’re going to convince anybody you’re a cook. Do you even know how to work a stove?” he asked.

No. Bill had absolutely no idea how to operate a stove.

“We can’t have you set fire to a good ship like ‘Der Komet’ - nor this ship, for that matter. You can be my kitchen boy. I was actually short of one.”

“Can I?” Bill asked, with a hopeful glint his eye.

Bushido ran his eyes over Bill’s frame. “Sure you can, luv’. I’ll just have to inform the captain that you’re hired. Don’t run away, Little Chef. You’ll just get lost.”

Bill nodded. “I’ll stay right here then.”

“Well mannered, I must say,” Bushido said and smiled.

Bill rolled his eyes. “Fuck you.”

Bushido stood still, looking quite surprised. Then they both laughed and Bill was pulled up close and embraced sincerely by strong arms. Just as sudden, Bushido let go of him with a chuckle and Bill stood back just staring after the man’s broad back. His skin and body tingled with delayed rigidness. Then a beautiful smile spread on his face and he couldn’t believe how Bushido made him feel like. What were the odds of Bill finding someone like Bushido?

Thrilled as well as terrified, Bill set for the West Indies, and his life would never be the same; maturing him so fast on many levels, he didn’t know what hit him. These revelations made him realise how spoiled and protected he had been all his life, even if he had thought it was tough and unfair. 

Life in the galley was all right. The crew tolerated him and treated him reasonably, considering he had no clue what he was doing. But he did it satisfactorily because there were no complaints. It didn’t take long for Bill to pick up the vibe that he might even have become a bit popular, judging by how many smiles and jokes he received. Someone was always quick to give him an affectionate stroke across the hair or appreciative thumps on the shoulder and back when he served food in the mess or below with the general crew.

“They’re always giving me compliments,” Bill said to Bushido one evening as they slaved over dinner.

“You’re sweet on the eye, Bill. That’s why,” Bushido grunted, as he balanced a tray of food.

“I’m what?” Bill asked, not quite getting the point.

Bushido put the tray on the huge dining table in the officers’ mess. “You’re a sweet looking kid. You’re sweet on the eye. If they grab you, let me know. I won’t tolerate that.”

“Grab me? You’ll have to...”

Rolling his eyes incredulously, Bushido elaborated, “If they grab your arse, or in the crotch, or try and kiss you, Billy. Let me know. Was that cut good enough out for you?”

Bill frowned. “Why would...”

“Bill. Sweetie,” Bushido neared him and gave him one of those genuine bodily hugs he’d come to love over the week he’d been on board. “You’re a gorgeous little piece of arse. Pure chew. Everybody lusts to fuck pretty boys like you. At sea, life gets lonely for a sailor and they tend to turn to each other for a bit of lovin’. Just saying. So if anybody gets closer than you’re comfortable with, tell me. They wouldn’t dare advancing on my lovely kitchen boy. Got it?”

Bill swallowed. He had had no idea. “Why would they...”

“You have no idea, do you?”

Bill shook his head and put a stack of plates on the table.

“You’re gorgeous, okay?”

Bill shook his head. Not understood. “I’m what?”

Bushido laughed as he pulled Bill’s head down by the neck and placed his full lips on his, kissing him hotly and firmly. Bill whimpered as arousal shot through his tall willowy body.

“On this ship, you’re _my_ boy. Got it?” Bushido growled playfully, as his hands wandered down Bill’s back to cup and knead his modest little buttocks.

Bill looked into Bushido’s eyes and slowly he replied, “But what if I want them to do the things to me you said?”

“They’ll have to get past me first, won’t they?”

Bill’s eyes lowered half. A thrilling kind of power had suddenly been handed to him. He was sexually alluring? It was ridiculous. Nobody had ever given him any reason to think he was a looker. He’d never known. He knew _he_ was attracted to Andreas, so if other men found Bill attractive the same way he found Andreas, his friend had obviously never been interested. Pressing his lips to Bushido’s, Bill instigated the next kiss making it last for several hot minutes.

Reluctantly, Bushido broke the intimacy and unloaded the tray with sure motions. “Finish up, Bill. We can play later. The officers will soon be here.”

“Promise?” Bill asked.

Bushido regarded him for a few moments with eyes squinted critically. “Yeah, I promise, Bill.”

~~~~~~

On his first night aboard the ship, Bill had been peeved when Bushido explained to him that he had to sleep in a hammock. Bushido had a nice bunk himself, and Bill didn’t think it was fair. But those were the options for a kitchen boy and not negotiable. And Bill honestly tried to force his long body to cooperate, but it wasn't really agreeing with the complicated balancing act of staying within the confinements of a hammock. After falling out of its twirling hell thrice, Bushido gave up on getting any sleep due to Bill’s racket and they exchanged sleeping arrangements for the rest of the night; an arrangement that became permanent when Bill repeated his bad coordination skills the next night.

This night, Bill needn’t ask Bushido to join him on the bunk because the muscular cook undressed in front of him. Bill shivered with nerves as Bushido proceeded to undress him. Bill’s white shirt and maroon vest were taken off. Then his trousers were peeled off his long legs, and Bushido’s eyes assumed a certain light of appreciation and something else that had the young man catch his breath. 

“You don’t need these.” Bushido pulled down Bill’s undergarments, freeing his erection. 

Bill reached up to him, running his hand down Bushido’s broad chest. “I want you,” he stuttered with lust. The whole idea of having sex with a man aroused him completely. Bill had no label to put on his feelings for what the cook was about to do to him but he was willing to learn.

Bushido smiled. “You’re going to have me. Now spread your thighs, Billy.” As Bill did what he was asked, Bushido ran his dark tanned hands up Bill’s slender legs, humming with appreciation. “Fucking gorgeous you are.” When Bushido hungrily applied his mouth on Bill’s hole, lapping and prodding at his sensitive flesh, Bill shrieked in shock, convulsing and bucking his body. A few moments later, he climaxed spontaneously with Bushido’s tongue moving inside of him.

It was so dirty, so maddeningly dirty, and so arousing. Bill flailed helplessly and spread his legs wantonly in desire for more. 

“Good?” Bushido grinned and wiped his mouth.

“So good,” Bill whimpered and felt his partner’s heavy sex pulsing at his hip. 

“I want inside you. I want inside that little warm place of yours,” Bushido rasped in Bill’s ear.

Bill closed his eyes, not grasping how it could be done, but his body shivered in a delicious, responsive fashion like he’d never felt before and he wanted more. Blunt strong fingers played at the saliva slickness between his buttocks and Bill breathed in shortly. “I’m not sure you can,” he said.

Bushido laughed warmly. “Don’t worry, little sweetheart. There’ll be plenty of space for me.”

Bill grunted as Bushido pushed a finger inside him. It didn’t really hurt, but he felt a tight flexible fit around the questing digit. “What are you looking for?” he asked.

“Something good.”

“For you?”

“No. For you. I know what it'll feel like for me already.”

“What does it feel like?” Bill gasped as Bushido moved his finger very suggestively in and out.

“Like heaven. Sweet. Virgin. Bill.” Bushido got up from the bed and went to fetch some cooking grease. Bringing some to the bunk, he rubbed two fingers in the slippery stuff and, to Bill’s horror, he intended to push the fat into his body.

“No! You’re not… you’re not…” Bill protested, sitting up in bed.

“Spread your legs for me, Bill.” Bushido lifted an eyebrow in warning.

Bill slowly leaned back on the bunk. “It’s…”

“You’ll need it or you won’t be able to walk for a week. Trust me. I know what my dick can do to small arses like yours.”

Bill nodded and bit his lip. “O-okay.” Bill spread his legs anew, letting Bushido settle between them. The man lifted Bill’s rear on top of his thighs. In the fingers went with a sticky sound that made Bill groan with embarrassment.

“Looking so good from here,” Bushido assured him, but Bill wasn’t convinced that grease smeared all over his posterior could be addressed as something attractive. Bushido laughed at him and began to pump his fingers back and forth, adding more gradually.

Bill put an arm over his eyes to hide from the man’s teasing smiles. The feeling of Bushido’s fingers entering him repeatedly wasn’t so bad. He wouldn’t let himself say it felt good although it did. It was that dirty, forbidden part of him that he never paid attention to other than the natural one. Nevertheless, Bushido was coaxing small gasps of pleasure out of his mouth and when Bill heard laboured moans fill the galley, he realised the sounds came from himself. As his legs were bent towards his chest, something blunter than fingers began to force its way into Bill’s body and he cried out, not sure if it hurt or just felt even better.

Bushido called him every pet name Bill had heard him utter up until now, and ‘virgin’ was definitely added to the collection because it seemed like it gave Bushido a kick repeating it as he claimed Bill’s virginity. 

“Come for me again,” Bushido grinned, his face sweaty due to the exhaustion of pummelling Bill into the bunk’s mattress. A finger quested between the young man’s shaky legs and pressed against his perineum in circles. Stars exploded behind Bill’s eyes and he arched with a hoarse scream as he came, clenching painfully around Bushido’s rock hard girth.

“That’s it, sweetie. That’s it. Take it. Take it,” Bushido groaned, climaxing. Collapsing on top of Bill’s body, the cook lay for a few moments, catching his breath.

“Off!” Bill complained. “You’re heavy, Bushido!” The cook grinned and retreated, pulling his flaccid cock with him, leaving a trail of cum trickling out of Bill’s entrance. 

Self-conscious - now that he wasn’t aroused anymore - Bill felt the need to cover up himself, and get cleaned, too. But Bushido just laughed at him and curled up behind him, sweaty and warm.

“I’m not…” Bill began to explain in advance. Hopefully, Bushido wasn’t ready for another tryst, because Bill was a little sore. But the cook appeared very mellow in spite of his questing hands. A finger found its way inside Bill again, but only to give the young man a reminder that Bushido’s seed was still there, marking him in a way.

“Stop it,” Bill asked, swatting at his other hand.

“All right, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Bushido chuckled and squeezed Bill’s cock affectionately. “Sleep tight, luv’.”

~~~~~~

The journey took about three and a half month due to treacherous weather across the Atlantic, but they had plenty of provisions and fresh water thus making it safely to the Islands. Once they reached shore, wasted time was caught up efficiently and the crew made some excellent trade transactions.

Bill wasn’t part of any of the trade, naturally, and pretty much stayed off board the ship once he set foot on land. Since he never showed up for mess time, he ate very irregularly. He was becoming used to drinking thanks to Bushido’s generous donations across the ocean. With the money he had earned from the trip, Bill was never without some kind of bottled liquid sustenance, as he explored the streets of St. Lucia. He even acquired several tattoos that he never remembered getting the following morning. But that money soon shrunk into very little. Dully, Bill observed throughout the weeks that Bushido had found a dark skinned local boy to warm his bed at night.  
On a few occasions, Bill had seen him pay the boy a few coins. 

The intimacy between Bushido and Bill stopped at some point when Bill wanted more, and Bushido just wanted sex. Bill accepted that that was how things were and they still shared the bunk in the galley after that. Bill missed the intimacy of their relationship but that couldn’t be helped. At least, they had stayed on good terms. Bushido had never paid Bill while they slept together, but now that Bill was short on cash, he saw the possibilities of casual sex. Casual _paid_ sex.

Running a hand over his lips, Bill understood he could make some money if he slept with somebody. In fact, in his drunken state, he thought it was a great idea. Walking on unsteady legs, he found a pub and dared go in. Using the sexual prowess he had learned he possessed, it didn’t take Bill much time to find someone willing. It took even much less time to satisfy the man orally and Bill rose from his knees a few coins richer.

“Stick around, kid. I liked your mouth.”

“Maybe you’ll like my arse even better?” Bill offered with a drunken grin, swaying his tiny hips provocatively. The man did look for a few moments, clearly tempted, but then he shook his head. 

“Try the whorehouse. You might get lucky there.”

But those places were truly disgusting, and Bill liked staying clear of the clientele there. Instead, he began to seek out other sailors from other ships. Not only did they pay him, but he liked the variety of sex he had with them. Promiscuous? Perhaps, but Bill didn’t think of himself that way. More like an opportunist who had figured out a leisured way of getting a full belly every day. Eventually, Bill completely disconnected himself from his own ship resulting in him missing the ship’s departure, due to a night of binging with two other sailors. 

There wasn’t much left of the well-mannered and obedient Wilhelm Mertz in Bill anymore. Now, he was defiant, cocky, and went for what he wanted. Bushido had done a good job in turning his insecurities into a self-confidence Bill had never thought he’d find. 

_“Trust that you can accomplish anything, luv’. You’re more beautiful than most pretty girls I’ve known. Use it to your advantage but don’t let others take advantage of you.”_

And Bill believed him.

Using the creative part of his brain that he had suppressed for too many years, Bill began to change his appearance. If he looked prettier than most girls, he should definitely use it to his advantage. He had let his hair grow out considerably during the voyage. It had already been long enough to gather in a small tail at the nape of his neck before he took off to the West Indies, but as he stuck around and the months kept moving by, his hair grew even longer and the sun bleached it lighter than it had ever been before.

One of the local girls who had a crush on him put dreads in his long hair as a favour. Some of them, she dyed black and some she kept in his natural colour. Then other dreads she bleached completely white using urine. Bill was fascinated by the look she achieved, and when she taught him how to paint his eyes in lines of black Kohl, anybody who didn’t know him took him for a girl dressed in a boy’s clothes. Bill had a lot of fun with that when he sought out potential sex partners. It also earned him a black eye once in a while when his sleeping partner didn’t share the joke but had expected female attributes once Bill stood naked in front of them.

Seasons changed and with that, lesser commotion at the usually busy sea port of St. Lucia. Bill decided that it was time to return back to Germany, and he sought a ship that was in fact looking for a cook. Toning down his usual act, he did manage to get the position. Compared to the last time, this time, Bill did know how to cook, and his eccentric persona was accepted by the new crew.

~~~~~~

[](http://s9.photobucket.com/user/myr_of_tues_sted/media/sepia.myr_zpsw7ywyfr3.jpg.html)


	2. Chapter 2

~~~~~~

One night, as it happened occasionally, a sudden storm shook the ship, forcing her off course for several weeks. As it were, many men were lost in the throes of the greedy ocean leaving only a handful of survivors to seek comfort on a small paradise island when the ship finally gave up and was crushed against cliffs not far from the shore. The waves took those who fell over board in time towards the mainland, leaving everybody shocked and scattered on the beach in various states of injury. Before Bill lost conscience, he only felt pain to his forehead, but that was it. He’d been luckier than most.

A while later, Bill awoke from his unconscious state. A ruckus had aroused him from his blackout and, opening his bleary eyes, he then froze in shock. The beach had turned into a tumultuous scene with his shipmates fighting war painted savages for their lives. Frantically, Bill tried to get on his feet and fight back, but with his skinny frame, he never stood a chance and was hit in the back of the head. 

Two weeks passed, and Bill was kept in a human sized barred crate with the remaining survivors. He hadn’t been fed much during that time, but the last three days, he'd almost been force fed, and if he threw up, his guardians would hit him with stones until he accepted another bite. It had been torture to eat when his stomach was already full. Today, he was yanked out to stand. Bill’s legs were weak from the lack of exercise and, instinctively, he knew he had to wake them up to survive what was coming. One by one, during the past fortnight, his remaining crewmembers systematically disappeared from the cage, unless they had died from the natives’ inhuman treatment. Bill and two others were the last ones of the surviving crew, when they were let out. Bill couldn't even have fled if he wanted to. As he waited with all senses on highest alert, Bill slowly got the feeling back in his feet doing small stretching motions and scared, he exchanged glances with the others before the majority of the tribesmen pushed them towards primitive boats.

They sailed all night, but Bill didn't get much sleep as his mind worked overtime to figure out what was going on, preparing himself to escape whatever destiny was waiting ahead. He just knew it was fatal, because the others hadn't returned. 

After sunrise, agitated voices arose amongst the warriors situated in the boats, and Bill saw an island had appeared straightforward. Expertly, the small boats were navigated in between the sharp rocks leading to the shore and, soon, everyone waded towards land. Bill and his two mates were tied to a slender tree further up the beach at the border of a massive forest. Nervously, they watched what the savages were doing. A ritual was being prepared and the participants were in no hurry. Noon wasn't far away; in any case, Bill had felt the heat at an unbearable level for a while and longed for something to happen other than the tribesmen’s eager dancing around the campfire. Bill was tense as he feared the worst, and he was right when one of his fellow prisoners was cut lose and dragged down the beach towards the gathered warriors. Bill and the other guy screamed when they saw what was done to him. The man's head was cut off in one swing of a machete and his spasming body gutted afterwards. Dripping entrails were presented to the people and a roar of excitement filled the air. Bill vomited and stared panicked at the other man who shared his bounds.

A few minutes later, an odd greyness began to occupy the sky. The festivities became a bit more hushed and warriors came to fetch Bill. When they cut his ropes, Bill tried to struggle, but it was to no use. He was carried by both ankles and wrists as they transported him to the 'alter'; a spot now bloodied by his late shipmate. Unceremoniously, Bill was dropped on the sand, his bonds cut off, but the men seemed to ignore him for a few moments. The sky darkened further, and Bill put a hand up to protect his eyes as he gazed at the sun. _The sun is eclipsing!_ Bill thought. Quickly, he looked at the primitive men, who by now, had completely forgotten him as they cowered on the beach; obviously thinking the sun was refusing their offerings. 

Bill got on his feet. It was now or never. Looking back at his shipmate, Bill then turned his head to watch the savages. Instinctively, he knew that he stood no chance of escaping if he wasted it on trying to rescue the other. _I'm so fucking sorry,_ / he sent the desperate man a fleeting thought and then he bolted for the jungle as fast as his weak legs could carry him.

Darting around a tree, Bill scurried up the next one, scraping and ripping his knuckles and shins as he reached the first branch. Closing his eyes, his head, sweaty from the run, rested against the harsh bark. Trying to slow his breathing, and not alert the hunters with agonised gasps, Bill crossed his arms over his chest and drew his knees up to his heaving chest. Dropping his head into his folded arms, the young man shuddered as he fought to control the lurking hysteria. Panic wasn't something one could prepare for, and Bill did his best to hold it at bay; the mere thought of what those savages had in mind for him nearly caused him to throw up again.

Hearing the noise increasing, Bill had no choice but to move up. As quietly as his shaking body would comply, Bill climbed the tree. There were many branches making the job easier for him. Soon, he sat ten metres in the air, hidden in between the rich leaves watching intently for when the savages got out of their superstitious stupor and went looking for him. Either they would pass him or find him right away. Luckily, when it came to it, the latter was not the result, and as the men went past the tree, Bill’s eyes filled with tears of gratitude and he held on to that thick branch supporting him tighter. The shakes were getting worse and he feared he'd fall down to the ground, soon. His only hope being that the men would not hear it if he indeed crashed to the surface. However, once more, luck was on his side and he stayed on the branch as he calmed down. The sounds of the warriors returning to the beach was even much farther from his hiding spot. Soon, there were no other sounds but the exotic birds and small animals living on the jungle floor. Bill waited a few more hours and then he climbed down. He had no wish to see the remains of the beach activities and sought deeper into the forest, planning to reach the other side of the island. On his way, he hoped to find edible plants or fruits, luckily also water.

~~~~~~

A year later

 

Growing up a single child, Thomas Kaulitz was handed everything he ever wanted by his adoring parents who treasured their son. As long as Tom could remember, his father had been a naval officer. Tom wanted to make him proud and took that natural road towards becoming an officer himself when he graduated from the naval academy. Tom always knew he had a twin brother that was taken from him and, in spite of the love he got from his parents, he missed having a sibling. But it had been a miracle his mother had even been able to have him, and so no more children were blessed upon their little family. The lack of a sibling was compensated with many friends from school and later from the academy, so growing up Tom always had plenty of company and fun. 

The prestigious Kaulitz family was considered a good match and Tom had an easy access to courting lovely girls and took advantage of this often. He even counted several young ladies amongst his friends, and he was often asked to parties as well as debutante balls. Tom was never really seriously seeking a wife, though, but he did grasp every opportunity to have fun and drink with his friends. 

“Tom...” Gustav Schäfer asked one evening.

“What is it?” Tom lifted his glass drunkenly and smiled at his friend.

“I’ve become engaged to be married.”

Tom wriggled his eyebrows until he realised his friend was serious. “I wasn’t aware you were serious?” he asked.

Gustav shrugged and then he desperately tried to keep down his smile.

“Man, you’re content!” Tom laughed. “I’m really happy for you.”

“I just hoped you would settle, too.”

“With whom?” Tom took a sip. “I need a girl to be able to settle in the first place.”

“Yeah, I know. I was thinking about Franziska.”

Tom stopped lifting his glass for yet another sip and looked at Gustav with a small frown. “Your sister? Are you serious?”

Gustav nodded. “I would be really pleased to welcome you to my family.”

“Franziska means a lot to me. But as a wife...?”

“Your problem, Tom, is that you make every girl you’re introduced to a friend. It makes it really difficult for you to se them as wife material.”

Tom frowned deeper, but Gustav was right. He seemed to have a problem connecting the girls he liked to the image of the fiancée he might fancy. And Franziska definitely wasn’t a girl he thought of as fiancée/wife material. 

“Don’t you want any of them? Haven’t you fallen in love with any of your friends?”

Tom snorted. Yeah. He had. Once, but he never spoke about that to any one. It happened when he was in his young teens. A boy, and Tom even let him kiss him on the mouth and fondle him between the legs. It was such a rush, and Tom never forgot about it. Tom had thought a lot about that problem on his many trips. That he liked that boy was pretty much a great reason why the fair sex didn’t set his loins on fire. Thomas Kaulitz thought it difficult to choose some girl, because they were all just equally pretty, equally adequate, and equally not Tom’s type. Somehow it made it very convenient for Tom that he had chosen the career he had, because it kept those hopeful debutantes hopeful in a considerable distance when he was away at sea. And as soon as he returned home to Germany, Tom did everything he could to spend time with his friends keeping the relationships casual. 

Gustav shrugged. “I just thought... she never got reengaged after Stephan Wedelbrock died. She’s not getting any younger for sure and...”

Tom interrupted his friend. “Set up a date then, Gus.” If any girl would do, so would Franziska. Tom imagined he could better stand Franziska as a wife than some girl he had no real feelings for. And at least he felt affection for her even though mostly as a sister. She was six years older than Tom with a good head on her shoulders. Besides, his mother had kindly nagged him for a while that _they_ weren’t getting any younger, either, and that usually meant she wanted grand children. Tom would be twenty-two this autumn. He would be part of the crew of ‘Franz 1’ to sail back to the colonies for supplies soon. He had already been around the world which showed on his handsome face since he wore his long blond hair felted into dreads; something a slave woman in Jamaica had put in his hair for him a few years ago while the crew passed time waiting for a hurricane to pass on and for the ship to return to Germany.

Dutifully, it had taken Tom a few seconds to come to terms with the conclusion that he _would_ need a wife some day to handle the big mansion where he lived with his parents no matter how he felt about it. He wanted to make his mother and father happy, and if by that making the Schäfer’s happy, too, by all means. Tom would get a wife and grant his mother the grandchildren she hoped for. Most of the time, Tom would be away anyway, but Franziska would enter the marriage unaware of his true preferences, but knowing that Tom had a career to maintain. Kids usually made wives happy and lessen the longing for his company and... Tom stopped daydreaming when he realised he would actually have to have sex with Franziska to get children. Franziska would not be Tom’s first sexual experience. Like most of his peers, he had been with a few women both in his hometown, when they skirted the harbour looking for quick money amongst the sailors, but also amongst willing bed partners while staying abroad in the colonies. The exotic women there had no quarrels to pre-marriage sex, so when the urge couldn't be ignored any longer he took what they offered. Tom had also been propositioned by men trying to lure him into their beds, but in his capacity of being a naval officer, he hadn’t crossed that line. Some of the lower seamen from the ship didn’t distinguish between the genders. Although Tom had been tempted out of his mind watching the desirable males with their skimpy clad tanned muscular bodies, he couldn’t risk their siren calls. The Captain might look through his fingers regarding the seamen, but not his officers. That Tom spent the voyage home to Hamburg fantasising what fucking man would feel like instead of his fiancée didn’t really come as a surprise to him. He never had sexual fantasies about Franziska.

If he needed sex, he would pay a whore at some harbour. It was that simple and the way of the sea. Most times out in the colonies he didn’t even have to look for sex. The people abroad seemed drawn to him and he could have anyone he chose - male as well as female - and none of the crew would say anything and prevented Tom from thinking that he was sick and twisted because the crew did it themselves openly. Still it meant nothing.

Shrugging, he looked into his empty glass.

“Thank you, Tom,” Gustav smiled and his brown eyes shone warmly.

Tom just nodded drunkenly. “Don’t mention it. She’s a fine woman.” And that was the truth.

~~~~~~

A few afternoons were spent in haste to introduce the couple officially. It was certainly different to entertain Franziska now, knowing that there was a purpose for it for the first time. Tom realised that he genially appreciated choosing her. She was sweet, pretty, and very ready to become his wife. None of them claimed to be in love with the other. Franziska wouldn’t be pining for Tom once he set sails and left her back on her own. She still had the possibility to see her friends, his mother and her mother, as well as Gustav and his fiancée would be there.  
Once he returned home, he would marry her and until then, he didn’t have to think much about it. Franziska still lived with her parents and that wouldn’t change until after the marriage. Love could blossom later and Tom mostly needed her companionship, not her lust.

Both Tom’s and Franziska’s parents were more than pleased with his sudden choice to ask for her hand in marriage. The two tried not to act awkwardly around each other but they sure would need to work on that. Tom supposed it would be easier in time, and so he did try to spend as much time with her as he could before his departure. As such, he supposed spending time with one’s fiancée was what one did naturally, and he liked picking her smart brain. Franziska was a practical girl who would direct her household wisely, and Tom felt better and better about the arrangement, knowing what sort of order his home base could flourish into. He might even be enamoured at the thought of getting kids. So when Tom bid his little family farewell, as he left for his journey, he could honestly say that he would look forward to what was waiting for him once he returned home.

 

*

Standing in the stem of _Franz I_ , First Officer Tom Kaulitz watched the horizon with concern through binoculars. They were heading back for Germany after another mission to the West Indies, carrying exotic supplies such as breadfruit and chocolate. Tom knew what some of the supplies were really meant for: Cheap food for cheap labour elsewhere in the vast empire. Places where the German people had no idea their emperor and country even owned land to exploit its population and natural sources for profit.

Tom gets dreads in the Caribbean

~~~~~~

"Any change, Kaulitz?" asked First Officer Georg Listing standing next to him. Tom was jolted back to the real world. He gazed at the sea, knowing Georg had just been kind to nudge him to pay attention while he spaced out.

"No, sir," Tom said, making a fast decision. "Alert the captain, and prepare for a storm."

The bad weather came upon them shortly after, yes, they'd seen it in the distance, however, at that time, the storm was slow rolling. As the wind changed, the large mass of dark grey and black clouds picked up speed and arrived, heralding their deadly intent, washing harshly over the flagging ship. Rigging and sails had been attended to, loose cargo, nets and sundry other articles had been tied down in anticipation of the storm. Unfortunately, it wasn't fast enough as the first onslaught of rain and hail pelted the scurrying men. Some were slammed into the bulwark, leaving them dizzy or foundering as they attempted to complete Tom’s orders, their captain having fallen sick and died on their journey towards home.

As the boatswain slogged past, Tom shouted more orders, but they were drowned in the gale force winds, thrown back into his own face. As the mighty ship heaved in the growing waves, in the deluge of pounding rain and howling winds, a loud crack was heard. Looking up, hope diminished as the mainmast toppled towards the main deck, smashing the wood and men caught in its path.

The crew thinned out dramatically, and Kaulitz found himself one of the few remained on board to inspect the damages. During the night, the ship had sailed off course, and he had no means to detect where they were because the logbook was missing. A decision had to be made. Tom, Listing, and three seamen were the only survivors. However, hope was not completely lost. In the distance, an island had been visible for a while. In the morning mist, Tom could vaguely distinguish its features. Two lifeboats were still intact, so along with the men, everything of value was packed into the boats and it was time to leave _Franz I_ ; alas, she had started to take in water and would eventually sink.

The water was choppy, lapping and often washing over the sides of the small lifeboats, but with one seaman hauling buckets of the briny water over the side, they made landfall several hours later. Navigating the sharp, protruding rocks had taken nearly two hours in itself, but the thought of walking through those water-washed and sharpened boulders wasn't one Tom was willing to subject the exhausted, worried men to.

Feeling the prow of the boat flush against the moist sand of the beach was a welcome jolt as they tumbled from the craft. "Mr. Weber, kindly bring both boats to land fully, and shore them against some of these rocks for protection." Issuing his first land order, Tom then turned to another seaman, who happened to be his personal assistant, too. "Mr. Schwartz, remove the foodstuffs to the edge of trees to the south; the rest of us will take stock of our situation and survey the surroundings."

"So you're in charge here, too, sir?" Listing asked with a smirk.

"You know I am, Listing, but you're more than welcome to issue orders, too." Tom shrugged smirking back.

Georg shook his head. "Nah." He brushed off sand from his hands. "At the moment, it's best this way. Later, we can evaluate lesser important matters."

The shoreline stretched far. The island was of a considerable size. Tom and Georg had tried to rescue as many instruments as possible, but most of the boxes were lost in the sea. The men were tired and shaky and things simply dropped out of their hands with no malice. But it also meant that he couldn't measure the distance. Well. He gathered they'd have plenty of time to do it by hand. He went with Listing and, in spite of how much space the beach took up, the enormous jungle sixty meters away could take away a man’s breath. It would take them days, even weeks, to investigate the island. If in fact, they would be able to find their way out again. So far, they had enough provision to last them for months. They were in no hurry to explore the jungle, but Tom's adventurous heart could hardly wait. Also... they needed to come up with a plan on how to get away. Building a ship was essential, of course, but they were only five men, and Tom was the only one cable of building a ship. Decisions...

"It makes good sense to remain on the beach, but make our camp nearer the tree line to protect us from any storm or squall." Turning to the other officer, Tom pointed towards a small area between large leafy trees. "Have the men set up shelter there, bring the supplies to lie inside the shade, and sort everything out. Then join me for a proper excursion into the island."

Turning his back to the crew, Kaulitz looked out to sea, his eyes scanning the horizon. He knew it was too soon, but hopefully, someone would come looking for them when it was realized they'd not docked to report, as was custom. Maybe it wasn't the best choice, but keeping the men busy would keep them from worrying about being stranded.

"It's hot," Listing said to Tom when he returned.

Nodding, Tom responded, "Yes. We should try finding some water soon, though. We need lots of fluids; the barrel of freshwater won't last more than a few days, rationed before it rots."

Listing rubbed his sweaty neck and loosened his cravat. "Where should we start?" His lips smirked a little bemusedly which Tom didn't find particularly irritating. The officer was just as intent on surviving as the next man, and he liked him. "I recommend the men to concentrate on starting soon."

Tom agreed and went after Listing to help finishing the tasks. None of them would score points for standing and watch the others do all the hard work.

Later, the heat decreased to a tolerable level and they were all exhausted from the tasks needed done and the general stressful circumstances of being shipwrecked and stranded.

Dried fish and ship's biscuits were the immediate meal and everyone was sighing in contentment. Tom decided that all would appreciate a generous measure of rum and help relax every one. Later, they'd have to build a platform to sleep on and apply a roof over their heads. However, tonight, they'd have to sleep on the beach.

~~~~~~

DAY 2

The first birds' call woke Tom with a jolt and he sat up quickly, his hand going for his sword. Ascertaining no danger lurked near, Tom relaxed onto the pallet of coat and vest, which made up his hard bedding for the night. His skin itched from bug bites during the night. The sand hosted all sorts of blood thirsty little insects. The sleeping platform would be built first thing this morning. Lifting his head, Tom cast his eyes seaward, as he took in the beauty of the coming dawn. Silver pink and soft hues of orange and purple graced the still twinkling sky, mixing into a cacophony of intoxicating colours. One could spend many an hour gazing at the changing vista.

With a heavy sigh, Tom rose, dusted the clinging sand from his uniform pants, and moved a fair distance from his crew. Shaking off after relieving his bladder, Tom walked further along the trees, keeping the water on his left. It was a lush forest, exotic and multi-toned trees, shrubs, and plants adorned the sandy ground. Small animals could be heard scurrying under leaves and brush; some leaves gently swaying as a rodent or some such passed.

Thirty minutes later, found Tom stepping over a fallen log, the forest not as dense here. Something white gleamed in the sun-dappled trees and caught his attention. Parting some heavy fronds, the officer curiously moved towards the object, as he walked. Reaching it, Tom lifted some dangling moss-like plant and hastily stepped back, his hand once again reaching for his sword. It was a skull perched on a long wooden spike, picked clean from many years passage.

_Above in the crown of a tall tree, keen brown eyes watched Tom, as he headed back towards the beach, obviously not as fast as he ventured into the mass of forest. Bill wasn’t concerned about the stranger, because judging by his civilized clothing and dirty blond hair gathered in a pony tail, he wasn't **one of them** , but he was cautious and decided to watch him and find out why he was present on the island. Moreover, the man swore in German._

Finally, Tom managed to return to the beach and camp.

"Where have you been, Kaulitz?" Listing asked.

"I wanted to investigate a little bit, but I didn’t find fresh water, so I'll have another look. There must be a stream, though, because I heard small animals in the forest and they must have a source to depend on."

Listing smiled, and Tom smiled back before clasping his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm grateful you're the one who survived."

They both nodded seriously, the alternative could have been strenuous.

After Tom had eaten, he joined the men in building the camp and making it more inhabitable for everybody. They were frustrated how quickly the heat defeated them, and Tom allowed another batch of rum for everyone, but after that, he declared that they got thirstier from it and that was the first sign of trouble. Of course, Listing supported him and that was the end of that.

Gathering that evening, Kaulitz outlined the next day's activity. They would pair up and begin a slow, systematic search of the forest interior; their mission: find suitable drinking water. Tom had debated with himself numerous times over the day about revealing his 'discovery', but in the end, decided a non disclosure of the skull would be best for moral.

"Remember, be ready for anything. There are animals here and we don't know for certain how dangerous they are. We'll go no more than a hundred yards into the trees, then return and report. Any further adventuring will be considered direct insubordination." After assurances from the men, Tom tipped his head to the side and motioned Listing to follow him.

"I feel there may be some others here; natives probably. However, until we are certain if there are, the crew are not to venture out alone. You and I however, may do so, being we are far better trained to defend ourselves."

"Do you think that wise Tom? What if one of us gets injured?" Listing had a head for logic and precise order to his world and the idea of dashing through the lush forest held no interest for him. The beach was safe, and the beach was where any rescue ship would be looking for them.

Smiling disarmingly at his cautious friend, Tom said, "Well, none of us have yet. However, should we get so unlucky one of us gets hurt, then the other must stay here and tend the signal fire. In our wanderings, we'll gather as much wood from the forest to keep the fire going. We’ll organize one tomorrow evening. Today is much too soon to hope I fear."

When their plans were presented to the crew, the two officers had centuries of seamen’s superstition to deal with. The crew refused to go into the jungle. Sighing, Listing and Tom would be the only ones to investigate the island.

"Good thing I didn't mention the skull I found in there," Tom mumbled to Listing.

"Yes, that was fortunate, Kaulitz," the other officer replied with his mouth open in surprise.

~~~~~~

October 1873

October DAY 3-6

For the first few days, Tom and Listing foraged into the dense corpse of trees no further than the predetermined depth. Aware of his grisly discovery, Tom kept a diligent eye upon the darkened tree line during the night, fully aware that the safety of the remaining crew was now his responsibility. Many scurrying and furtive sounds caught his attention and had his hand instinctively gripping the hilt of his sword, ready to defend as needed.

As the days passed, he became bolder. Ever the adventurer, Tom announced his intent to go deeper into the forest. At first, he was met with questions regarding his changing of dictate, but a lifted eyebrow, crossed arms and nearly imperious look had the lesser seamen back down. Listing however, posed the early voiced questions once they were alone. "Tom, are you sure about this? It's rather risky, especially if you're alone..."

"Listing, I'm sure... that skull could have been there for decades. Besides, the water-skins are nearly depleted; we need a new source of water. Look, I'll take a pistol with me. If there's danger, believe me, I'll fire it. That way, you'll hear it and can come charging to my rescue. I'm rather attached to having my hide right where it is." A hard, but friendly cuff to the shorter man's shoulder, and Tom hefted the already prepared canvas sack to his shoulder, the pistol tucked into his belt next to his sword.

By now, he'd gotten used to specific trails and he was not worried about getting lost in the jungle, but he still had no concept of the sheer size of the place and he was careful not to venture deeper than he could find his way out again. Navigating had becoming more difficult but since they still hadn't found water Tom had to keep trying. Listing was his fortress but the man began to look tired, defeated and Tom found the same features on the rest of the crew. The men had built the platform. They had a roof over their heads but the prospect of surviving was minimal as the days went past and no water had been found.

Suddenly, Tom stopped. He had decided for a more North Western direction and he could swear he heard the clear sound of water running in the distant. Marking the path, he slowly continued, trying not to get too excited in vain. He thought he heard noises indicating something big hurrying away, but he didn't see anything. It was probably some of the larger animals living in the deeper parts, which he still hadn't managed to get close to. The thought of a juicy roast would cheer up everybody.

Shortly after, he screamed in joy; he had just stepped into something wet and following the alluring sounds he finally saw that he had been correct and found a small stream of water. Quickly, Tom drank his fill where after, he emptied the skins of rotten water, cleansed them, and filled them to the point of nearly bursting.

Satisfied Tom returned to camp. The men were overjoyed at getting fresh water, but soon they were convinced it only prolonged their misery and returned to being just as low-spirited as usual. Tom decided that when he returned to the forest, he'd try and catch that animal. Maybe Listing would join him but one look at the man, and Tom reconsidered. Well at least Listing took pride in keeping the fire going in the hope they'd be rescued.

Testing his luck again, Tom headed into the woods, following the path from his last foray. It was an overcast day, sky heavy and threatening, air thick with moisture and the promise of rain. However, the thought of fresh game, of the scent of roasting meat filling the air had his stomach grumbling in anticipation and he simply couldn't resist. Using the context of getting more water, he hurried away, the pistol and extra shot dangling from his belt and a welcoming slap-slap on his thigh with every step.

Coming to the churning stream, he filled the skins as promised, but left them lying along the path; better to have his hands free as he hunted. Judging by the noise the animal had created, Tom estimated that it was large - maybe a hunter itself.

Crossing the stream by stepping on some half submerged rocks, Tom looked across and was surprised to see how well hidden the other side was. The shrubs, bushes, and vegetation were large and thick, covering the ground and growing tall and wide. A sudden noise to his left had him swing in that direction in time to see something dark and large dart away. Not stopping to think, he gave chase, slipping on the moisture slick rocks and ground as he moved further and further into the jungle. Dangling vines and moss slapped and caught at him as he followed the noise the continually evaded him.

One false step and Tom crashed to the hard ground, a large rock the not so soft cushion for his ribs. Cursing his own clumsiness, Tom stumbled to his feet once more and continued; unmindful of there really being no path he followed.

Once more, he fell and this time he didn't get back on his feet. A sharp pain spread through his ankle, and everything went black as he hit his head on the harsh surface of twigs and small stones.

~~~~~~

DAY 8

Bill stayed behind the tree hiding him. Narrowing his eyes, he took in the man he'd captured with the natural snares of small roots sticking out of the dirt. Well, he hadn't anticipated on capturing the man that easily, and he wasn't going to eat him. However, Bill had been watching him keenly for a week since he learned about the stranded men's noisy presence on the island and he felt severely threatened. The man sought deeper and deeper into the jungle every time he went foresting, and it was only a matter of a time before he would have found Bill's sanctuary, his home, and then what? Bill had carefully marked a tree everyday since he came to the island and for a whole year, he'd lived here. Avoiding the savages when they came every month to sacrifice some poor soul to their gods where after they'd eat their offerings, bury them, and leave.

In the time that had passed, Bill had built a strong hold in the depth of the jungle. High in the treetops, he'd created a wooden house on a broad platform; large enough for him to stand up, and big enough to hold supplies so he needn't worrying about where to keep his treasures and materials. He even had one of the machetes meant for his own sacrifice last year, because the superstitious savages had abandoned it along with their offerings. Bill had not been able to save the third man. He had been beheaded as a farewell salute before the boats took off. But Bill found the machete a few days later when he dared to return to the beach to see what exactly was left of the gruesome ceremony. He hadn’t dared bury his shipmates, but he did take their clothes once his practice self fell in to place. Staying away was his best option and keeping the cannibals in the belief that the sun had spared Bill’s life. At least that’s how he interpreted their reaction to the eclipse.

Carefully, Bill approached the fallen officer. He was bleeding from a superficial head wound and his leg was bent awkwardly. Bill sneered, "That'll teach you." He was torn between taking him with him not to alert the others if they found the courage to go looking for their comrade, or simply letting him die here. Yet, if the others saw him here... they might want to know what drew him to this part of the island and Bill's sanctuary would be discovered at some point anyway. He feared what they'd make of him, so he had no choice but to take the man with him to his home.

Pulling the sharp blade from the makeshift sling, Bill quickly cut some vines and bound the unconscious officer, tying hand to foot for easier carrying. Hefting the heavy burden to his shoulders wasn’t an easy task but he had to make a try to carry the tall man through the foliage, but eventually Bill had his captive ensconced in the back of a small cave. In the beginning, Bill had used the cave as his home, but since it wasn't too deep, he was unprotected from the natural hunters of the island. Waking one night to find what resembled a large cat of prey lurking and sniffing at the air just outside convinced him to seek higher ground. Higher ground came in the way of his tree house.

After tossing his burden on the floor none too gently, Bill considered what to do next. When the man moaned in pain, the noise startled Bill. He hardly spoke out loud anymore nowadays, and he was alarmed by the thought of the others hearing the officer, should they have come looking for him already. Improvising, Bill pulled several leaves from a large plant and formed a crude gag; using more of the supple vines, he shoved the green leaves in Tom's mouth and tied the vine behind his head, catching a few strands of hair in the process.

Swiftly moving back to where the now unconscious man had fallen, Bill took a fallen branch with dead leaves on it and scraped it over the newly turned ground, effectively hiding any signs that someone had been there. Bill didn't think the man would be missed until later that day, and who knew when they'd begin to venture this deep into the jungle? So far, Bill wouldn't have a problem. When the men would lack water, only then they'd start looking for that, and probably not the man himself. The thought comforted him immensely. Maybe he wouldn't need the man anyway? Perhaps he should just kill him and rid himself of the problem right away. Nevertheless, as he returned to camp, he suddenly felt a pang inside. He actually wasn't alone anymore. He'd been all by himself for a year, yet now he had company. But he couldn't begin to get soft hearted. The guy would not take kindly toward him. He would demand all sorts of services. Bill had seen him order the other men around, supervising them as they did the labour, and Bill was used to doing everything his own way. Besides, the officer was still a threat. Bill knew how the mind of an officer worked and they’d look at Bill as they would a savage. Looking down himself, he was dressed according to the hot weather. His private bits were only covered by a tiny loincloth for protection made from his shredded pants, and his once white shirt was now brownish from dirt and missing the sleeves used for other purposes. Well he still had his shoes, but he wasn't sure where he put them. His skin dark-tanned, and his dark hair long and uncombed. His musings were interrupted by the man’s muffled moans as he opened his eyes to rest on Bill's.

The man tried to speak, but the gag prevented him. Bill squatted in front of him. His eyes fell on the man's leg. A swelling of his ankle indicated a sprain of the joint. Bill shrugged and his brown eyes returned to look at his captive who pleaded with his. Bill just sneered and got up. What did he care if he was injured? Then he changed his mind. If he was going to have a use of this man, he should probably make an effort to increase his comfort. He went looking for some strips of cloths and returned. Meticulously he wrapped the ankle to help the swelling go down. He might have been too late with his initiative, but at least he’d made an effort. The gag remained as he worked the injured limb. By now, Bill had paid attention to the officer’s rank. A First Officer but with a captain’s responsibilities. How wonderful – the captain had died on board and this man had been promoted to take the ship home. Bill would hang by the neck if this man ever got free, so he wasn’t going to. Refusing to look into the other man's eyes, Bill raised his gaze to stare at the trees keeping his home within their crown. There were ladders on each side of the wide platform and he chose to drag the man up the left, which was closest to the cot. He intended to have the officer stay there for now. Reaching the top of the ladder, Bill took care not to get caught off balance in case the man decided to try and push him off the platform. But he needn’t worry about it. As soon as they reached the cot, the man collapsed on it on his side and closed his eyes.

~~~~~~

DAY 8

Some time later, Tom jerked awake. He'd been sleeping for a while and it took him a few moments to establish where he was and why. The gag was still in his mouth and he was so thirsty and suffered a headache. Lying still his head lolled a little. Thinking he heard some noise from one the two ladders leading up to the platform, he lifted his head, wearily. His senses were misleading him and he realised that his captor was already close by, but had climbed up from the ladder in the opposite end of the platform. Tiredly, Tom let his head fall down again, grateful to when he noticed that the gag had been removed during his sleep. He felt feverish, and confused; the days already spent on the island were finally getting to him and his strength was rapidly decreasing. He'd only injured his ankle; how could that leave him in this poor condition? Maybe it was broken? 

Tanned, slender, long legs slowly went past him. Then they returned and stopped right in front of him, and Tom imagined he was being inspected. Slim fingers touched his lips. The individual bent in the knees and Tom was face to face with a healthy male cock dangling from between his thighs. Looking up, Tom saw painted brown eyes staring back at him. He had thought he was facing a gorgeous girl, so this was a surprise.

Then the man spoke in German, "I'm going to remove your gag. Don't talk to me. I'm not interested." 

Quickly, the gag was removed and Tom moaned a little in gratitude, ignoring the rude comment for now. It was in fact a relief that the person standing in front of him spoke German. What were the odds in this part of the world? Obviously, once stranded like they were, but unfortunately still sticking around which said a lot about their poor chances of a ship passing the island. Briefly, Tom wondered how long the other one had been here. The feel of dirty fingers prodding his lips to part interrupted his thoughts, and a water skin was slowly tilted accommodating Tom's slow drinking. Thereafter, the man put a strangely sweet porridge in his mouth. Tom quickly decided to eat it while the ‘savage’ was in a good mood. Then he fell back on his cot, the simple act of eating exhausting him.

~~~~~~

Listing studied the placement of the sun, estimating that Kaulitz had been gone for more than five hours. On his other excursions, he'd been back in under four... true it was only one hour more than normal, but in uncharted, unknown places, a rigid routine was essential to the sibilance of order. "Schwartz, I'm going looking for Kaulitz, you keep an eye on the horizon for ships, and for God's sake! Keep the others from the rum."

Grabbing a musket from the stores, his sabre and a few extra shot, the officer moved up the beach, following in his superior officer's tracks. It wasn't hard to discern where Kaulitz had entered the trees; a fresh looking cut amidst some fronds indicated the point.

Entering the dark and cooler interior, Listing stopped and simply listened to the sounds of wildlife around him. Deciding no big game was near, he kept green eyes trained on the path, and suddenly the outline of boot prints was right in front of him. Following the trail was easy for Listing and, after a few minutes’ walk in the thick forest; he came upon the horribly looking bleached skull Kaulitz had told him about, and he fought his own demons of superstition. Overcoming his own fears, Listing decided to venture further, his senses on full alert.

Twenty minutes later, he found a small stream gurgling gently in the diffused sunlight. However, the view of fresh drinking water didn't hold his attention, it was a single water skin tossed at the base of a large tree. "Damned!!" Everything screamed to him that Kaulitz wasn’t all right. A slight panic attack threatened to take over reason, but character built from a life spent in academies made him keep going and start searching the area diligently, looking for more signs of Kaulitz. Finally, after venturing towards the edge of the body of water, he saw footprints disappearing into the moving body. On the other side, he noticed more... but more alarmingly, was the haphazardly broken shrubbery and branches, as if some kind of flight or battle had taken place. Trampled vegetation and assorted heavy imprints in the moist sand... and what looked to be more blood on a rock.

This was the final bit of proof he needed; Tom Kaulitz would not be returning to them. The thought didn’t sit well with him at all.

Gathering the water skins as he found them on his way back to the beach, Listing felt his throat tighten. He would miss his long time friend who was a fellow student when they both went to the academy. Listing couldn't fulfil a proper search under these conditions with the superstition of his men, so he feared for the remaining time of their stay, and imagined they'd all go mad if the bonfire didn't alert a ship soon.

When he returned to the crew, he found them cajoling with excitement. Dully, Listing looked towards the sea along with the men then back towards the forest still inclined to look for Kaulitz. But it never happen as a ship was barely visible in the horizon approaching the island; they were going home.

~~~~~~

DAY 10

Tom was jolted awake once more as efficient hands checked his leg. Tom realised that he was naked and it was a relief not wearing all his clothes in the heat of the jungle. His capturer poured cool water all over his body, which was refreshing and much needed. Then he was helped to drink his fill before more of the strange tasting broth was fed to him. "What is this?" he asked, exhausted, but of course got no answer but a sneer.

"Piss off," the younger man suddenly barked, "I don't want your conversation. I'll kick you over the edge of my platform, so keep it fucking quiet, _Officer_." 

Sighing, Tom closed his eyes. Sensing the man hadn't moved, he chanced another look. The amber-eyed ‘demon’ stood with his back turned, arms across his chest and a sway in his sinfully long spine as he watched the vegetation below. Watching the way the fading light caught the sweat glistening in the long dimple on the man's back, Tom felt himself helplessly respond to vision of sensual limbs as his cock hardened.

"What is your name?" Tom asked.

Turning his head to look at Tom, the younger man snorted. "As long as you're tied down, I make the decisions here."

Tom tiredly rolled his eyes, wishing to whip this rebellious impossible beauty. "Come on, man. I didn't ask to be on this island more than I’m sure you did. Tell me what to call you at least? I'm Tom Kaulitz." Nothing happened and suddenly, Tom felt sleepiness come over him. "Are you drugging me on purpose?" he asked, incredulously.

Bill didn't answer. He looked at his prisoner's twitching cock. For a fraction of a second, he wondered what Officer Kaulitz’ cock would feel like in his mouth all hard and twitching. Then he brutally dismissed the desirable images he’d created and suppressed the need to look again. Slowly, he shook his head. "You'll get better faster this way when you don't waste energy suffering." Why he'd said that he didn't know. Maybe it was the sight of the appetizing semi hard cock resting against the officer's thigh. Bill darted one last look before he turned his eyes away and climbed down. He sat on a fallen trunk and bit his lower lip. He had a lot of things to do and his prisoner, _Tom_ , was ruining his schedule. Getting up, he went to retrieve the water skins, but they were gone, all of them, and this obviously told him it would be wise to check on the rest of the crew.

When Bill reached the beach, he stared in disbelief. The beach was empty. Nervously, he ran back into the jungle. It wasn't time for the savages to sacrifice this time of the month, and they never went to this part of the island, but just the same Bill assumed that's what had happened, and he'd better stay away.

Slowly, Bill returned to his hidden camp and found Tom sound asleep. Yes, he did drug him. It was easier to keep his captive sedated. Bill wasn't sure if he should break the hard news to him right away or wait till his fever broke. In the end, he realised he didn't really care. Tom could ask when he felt like it, and maybe Bill would answer.

Pouring some water in a coconut shell, Bill began to wash himself with a bit of cloth stripped from Tom's white shirt. It was more a ritual than an actual attempt to get clean and, after that, he went to the cot and crawled over the sleeping man who rested on his back. Lying with his back to Tom, Bill soon fell asleep.

Tom woke in the night, a warm body pressed to his. It took him moments to remember where he was... or more precisely, where he wasn't. Lying perfectly still, he listened to the night sounds, listened to his captor's breathing. The pattern was sleep-regular and deep. Gradually, he managed to remove himself from the other man's space, keeping as quiet as possible. Once Kaulitz was about a foot away, he rolled to his side and stopped to listen again for any changes, except for some soft snore-snuffles, everything remained peaceful. Deciding he'd stand a better chance on his feet, Tom got one foot under him and pushed up, only to collapse when he tried to use the other foot as well. Sharp, needle hot pains spiked through his ankle, causing him to bite his lip to keep from crying out. "Fuck..." it was a quiet utterance, but was loud enough to cause his gaol-keeper to shift and stir in his sleep.

"You might as well lie down. You can't make it to the ground from here with your foot like that." The words were soft, the tone softer, but there was a blade-edge of sharpness clearly enough in what was said. "And if you tried, you might fall and I'd leave you there until the morning."

Shifting again, Bill scooted back onto the spot Tom had so recently left.

Tom sighed and carefully lowered himself to the platform base. The shock of pain had left him breathless, sweating, and dizzy from it; he'd be a fool to try to escape. But to lie next to the captor of his own free will... However, it had been nice, being warm like that; the coolness from the shade of the trees and the sun having set caused a slight shiver in his body. Easing himself nearer, Tom returned to lying close to the other man's back, their combined warmth passing between each until Tom once more had fallen asleep.

~~~~~~

DAY 11

Waking up to the sounds of birds noisily proclaiming the morning had arrived, Tom sat up groggily. Looking out, he was amazed that the sunlight was able to shine through the treetops, but everything looked pretty as the jungle woke up. His thoughts were more organized, and Tom swung out his legs. Looking back over his shoulder, he remembered that alluring man had slept next to him. However, the bunk was now empty. Tom concentrated on listening, but he couldn't make out any sounds indicating where the man was.

Trying to stand on his sprained ankle, Tom gritted his teeth. It was still a bit early to stress the injury, but using a large stick for support, he might be able to move around.

"Morning."

Turning, Tom hesitated. "Morning," he finally responded to the none too gently greeting.

"Hungry?"

"Are you keeping me here on purpose?" Lifting his hands, Tom quickly added, "Yes, I know you don't want to talk to me, but hear me out, all right?"

"I'm not keeping you anywhere."

"What's your name?" Tom asked. "Mine is still Tom Kaulitz. I find it easier to communicate if..."

"Bill - if you must know it," Bill interrupted rudely.

"Right..." Tom looked away and scratched his neck. "I'll just leave by myself and return to my crew."

"Is that a fact, Tom Kaulitz?" Bill asked. "Well go then. I didn't want you here in the first place."

Tom nodded. "But you _had_ to drag me up here nevertheless?"

"At the time, it seemed like the only solution. Oh, and feel free to grab a water skin. It’s yours anyway."

Tom’s eyes narrowed. But he would not let himself get irked by some feminine man – even if he _had_ able to drag him up a ladder. Tom wasn’t going to fight him. Bill wasn’t his enemy; there was nothing subordinate about his behaviour, and Tom was not his captain. Obviously, the owner of this house didn’t want to go with him back to the beach, but he had to ask just to be polite.

“Do you want to join my crew, Bill? I’m not going to ask you twi...”

“Never,” the answer came prompt. 

Tom shook his head and went to fetch the full water skin. Bill was irrational, and must have lost his mind out here. Perhaps he and Listing could grab him in unison and force him with them back home. The thought reminded Tom that the faster he returned to his frantic crew, the better. Due to his strong upper body, Tom managed to get down the ladder, and after he had found a suitable stick, he began his journey back to the beach and his men.

Bill only uttered an audible huff when he looked down to see that Tom had accomplished climbing down the ladder.

Returning to the beach took Tom nearly three hours longer than any other time in the past, and now all he could do was stare at the deserted spot where he'd left his men. Well, not completely deserted. There were of course debris left behind; broken crates, barrels, assorted signs of a hasty dismantling of a temporary camp. But none of his men, and the fire had died out. Hobbling towards the few items that had been deemed unnecessary, Tom sat on one and stared blankly out on the blue expanse of the softly rolling ocean. No ship in sight either. When had they come? When did they leave? Why the fuck hadn't Listing bothered looking for him?!

Scrubbing his fingers through his hair, Tom slumped so he slid off the crate and landed in the soft sand, his mind a turmoil of jumbled thoughts. Only one kept pushing to the forefront; he was alone, abandoned. When Tom finally acknowledged that thought, another quickly made itself known. / _You're not alone, there's Bill on the island, too... and he's survived living here, so obviously it can be done._ / “Some screwed up comfort...” Tom snorted at the absurdity of it. He began laughing out loud, before he broke down into tears - crying for a while, as he let out feelings he couldn’t contain anymore. Then he just sat staring at the horizon, thinking how fate was a cruel mistress. If he ever returned to Germany, he would find Listing and personally wring his fucking, treacherous neck for deserting him.

The sun was a distant fading ball in the sky, darkly orange, almost glowing and promising another scorcher of a day tomorrow. There really was no decision to make. Tom had never lived on his own, and by the thought of living isolated for years to come, Tom already knew he’d go insane without human contact. Listening to Bill’s insults would be better than silence - and if the cocky bastard decided to give him the silent treatment, Tom would be happy to beat some sense into him – after his injury got better. Of course, Bill had lived by himself on the island for a while, and Tom wasn’t blind to the fact that the transition to suddenly having a roommate was stressful for the other, but Tom couldn’t give a damn about that. The guy would just have to adjust to his new household fast and, with a good dose of effort; they could at least survive together.

*

When Tom had left the camp, Bill went about and angrily argued with himself. He was sure he was better off without Tom, but at the same time, he knew the man would be back the second he realised that his men were gone, eaten, conjured away by magic or whatever happened to them. If a ship had rescued them, there wouldn't be another, because no more crewmembers were missed by anybody, and merchant ships practically never sailed close enough by to notice stranded passengers the few times a year he’d seen any. Tom was now stuck here like Bill. At least Bill's home and freedom were safe, although he’d missed a chance to go back home himself.

He didn't expect Tom back until tomorrow. Judging from his injury, he would have a hard time navigate through the jungle, but who knew? The man had a termination matching Bill's own, and when the officer returned he just knew they'd fight each other on every detail which wouldn't get any easier as the man healed. Sighing, Bill seriously regretted dragging Kaulitz to his home. Knowing what he knew now, the man would have shared the destiny of his crew, and Bill could have continued living here in peace. Finishing off various tasks, Bill then went into the jungle to gather provisions he'd run low on like coconuts, banana leaves, yams, and other edible roots.

~~~~~~

DAY 12

After a lonely night on the beach, where every snapping twig or rustle of leaves had him jolting awake in alarm, Tom was never so happy to see the sun peek on the distant horizon. Breaking open the crate he'd used as a seat yesterday, small as it was, his keen brown eyes landed on jerky...How careless to leave precious food behind, Tom thought, but he imagined they must have been in a hurry to reach the ship before the tide made it impossible. Smiling ironically, Tom still thought of his crew even if he was the one who mostly needed the food at this moment. “Always an officer...” he murmured. The thought alone of having to work his way back to Bill’s fortress was exhausting in itself, but also thinking about dealing with Bill’s temper, was just as draining. Had Tom been well and not injured, he’d grabbed that little punk by the throat and taught him a lesson from the start, but he knew he’d probably never even found the man if Bill hadn’t found him first and Tom would probably not be in this position, but on the boat back to Germany along with his crew. 

Tom was in no position to drag the crate of jerky all by himself, so he splintered the box and put the wood along with the meat in his coat that he turned into a knapsack to carry on his back. Tom would use it as a peace offering to Bill. Still having water left in his water skin, Tom would of course bring that along, too, and having nothing else to do, he might as well head back through the jungle and reach Bill’s place as soon as possible.

*

Bill sat with his long legs dangling from the platform. He'd seen and heard Tom far away, because the jungle was unusually quiet and alert. He smirked at how the man struggled to move forward. Suddenly, he realised Tom's noisiness was caused by the heavy burden he carried on his back. "What the fuck?" Bill mumbled, narrowing his eyes. Grabbing a liana he had ready next to him, he quickly lowered himself to the ground and began walking to meet Tom. Slowly, he moved in the periphery of the naturally created path leading along the stream and eventually taking one to the beach. There was no natural path leading from the stream and to Bill's home. 

Sneaking up behind Tom, he surprised him by a soft, "BOO!" as he pricked on Tom’s shirt clad shoulder. Satisfied he watched Tom twirl in fright before he stood with a hand on top of his racing heart.

That did it for Bill; putting his hands to his knees, he let go with a peel of laughter that sounded loud in the normally subdued forest.

"You find this funny?” Tom snapped, finding Bill’s action so childish he didn’t know how to react.

"You took ages to return, _Officer Kaulitz_. Maybe I should have dragged your heavy arsed body back to where I live and taken care of you... especially since it appears you can't even walk right!" Bill taunted Tom, when the blond stumbled in that very moment. Enjoying the look of impotent anger on his face, he continued his goading, "You need me. I don’t need you." It was a bald statement, but true nonetheless.

"Well, if my ankle hadn’t been broken...! Fuck, and here I was bringing some of the stores from the beach to share with you... _especially_ since I seem to have been abandoned here..." Supported only by the stick and his good leg, Tom tried to pull out a few leaves that nested in his hair from low hanging branches dignity; Tom simply looked very undignified in his current position. 

Shrugging, Bill just looked at the officer, as the man got back on his feet. Then he came to stand in front of him. "Abandoned? You're certain of that? That they were rescued?"

"Well, yes. How else would they have left the island?" Tom asked, certain of the conclusion he derived earlier on the beach, last night.

"Cannibals come here every month to sacrifice, _First_ Officer Kaulitz. They might have captured your beloved crew.” Bill decided to throw the facts at Tom’s face.

Tom just stood blinking, trying to process the information. "There was no sign of a struggle," he finally responded, the memory of the bleached skull still fresh in mind, though.

"Lucky for them," Bill sneered and turned away. "And for the record... you didn't break your ankle. You... just sprained it..."

Tom felt an immediate need to exercise his authority and punish the arrogant man for his tiresome attitude, but this wasn’t Tom’s ship and he would gain nothing by behaving like Bill’s superior, but it was difficult to step out of character. He had to remind himself that Bill was his only company now, and it was his job to keep Bill happy to some extent. After counting to ten, Tom estimated it was time to at least trying negotiating with Bill. "I'm requesting a compromise, Bill. I'm asking permission to stay at your place in exchange to sharing the food."

Bill shifted the weight on his feet, cocking his tiny hip in a very attractive fashion that didn’t slip Tom’s attention. He couldn't really deny the man his request. Irritated he had to agree and shrugging again, Bill nodded. "Yeah - why not. Just stay out of my way, Kaulitz. You're nothing more than a tenant. I don't have to socialize with you. In fact, I'm not."

Tom bit back a sharp reply. His own conclusions were thrown back in his face. Whatever rank he once had, meant nothing to this civilian. Like Bill said, Tom was a tolerated guest. Lifting his chin defiantly, Tom said, “All right, since you've accepted the bargain, would you help transporting it the rest of the way...please?" Tom bit out the last bit. He was very tired and would not be able to climb the ladder with the contents of the knapsack weighing him down.

Keeping Tom’s gaze for several moments, Bill finally caved in, turned, and slowly took the improvised bag from Tom, and without a word, he went through everything before he carried all of it to the platform of his house. “Is there more?” he shouted back.

Meanwhile, Tom found a place to rest as he watched Bill bring up the goods. In spite of not meaning to, Tom couldn't help looking at the other man's appetising backside. After the engagement was cancelled¬¬¬¬, Tom had been more than upset about the unpredictability of certain ‘ladies’, and still he lamented the lack of female companionship when he sailed for home. He missed looking at a woman’s soft curves, he believed he did. Nevertheless, when his eyes fell on Bill’s skimpily clad body, Tom acknowledged how comely Bill’s was under the accumulated dirt and suntan, and he realised with a start that he hadn’t thought about women ever since he first laid his eyes on Bill. 

“Yeah, on the beach, but you’ll have to fetch it yourself,” Tom finally called back.

Having finished hauling the items to his tree platform, the hostile man stared at the seated officer. "Is this how you ruled your men? You sit while they work? Tomorrow, you begin to learn how it is we survive here." Bill's tone was scathing with derision, showing Tom his contempt for rank or status.

"Granted, I studied seamanship at the Naval Academy, but within that capacity, I started low in rank, and worked my way up; I'm not afraid of hard work, and if it means we survive... live 'better', then I'm all for it." Hobbling to his feet, Tom looked up into Bill's down turned eyes. "However, I ask that you..." A deep sigh and Tom shook his head, "keep my _training_ limited to one level. Climbing, at present, isn't much of an option." Then he began to climb the ladder.

"I worked my way up just like you did. I’m not a captain, but hadn’t I stranded who knows where I would have ended some day? So, where you happened to start on this earth doesn't matter to me, Kaulitz, because in the end, we all wind up in the same way; dead." 

It was a cryptic and almost macabre statement, but the words held such strong meaning, Tom found he couldn't disagree.

“Need a hand?” Bill asked, sarcastically. He’d managed to drag the officer up those ladders before.

"I can handle this," Tom said. He still had some pride left, “but I'm not completely mobile yet."

"That will only take a few days. Then you're swinging in the lianas," Bill said. 

"Not if I keep aggravating it with labour..." Tom bit back.

"I didn't ask you to come back, _Officer Kaulitz,_ Bill interrupted, "This is MY home. And stop ogling my bloody arse." Bill pointed a finger at the man who mostly looked like he wanted to bite it off and spank him with it for his audacity. "Fuck off." 

Gritting his teeth, Tom would have loved to, but it was not an option. When his ankle would support him again, he would gladly show his roommate a thing or two. It had become a goal right this moment. Bill might have settled this camp, but who knew how long they were going to stay here? Tom would not tolerate this much longer and despite what he promised himself earlier, he made a vow to be in control of the cocky brunette once his body could support his actions or he’d throw him over the platform. "Just one more thing... Why did you go out all the way to drag me to the tree house in the first place, if my presence loathes you that much?" 

Bill spun around, brandy coloured eyes burning. "To protect myself from your crew. To protect my home from being run down like stampede cattle. To prevent myself from..." Bill stopped himself in time with an audible gasp.

"From what?" Tom asked, patiently, beginning to see the bigger picture here. "You think we would hurt you?" 

"Fuck off," Bill repeated and disappeared inside the hut.

~~~~~~

DAY 16

The next few days weren’t easy, but Tom refused to accept charity or pity - and it seemed Bill wasn’t inclined to give them either. But on the morning of the 5th day, the 17th on the island, he was able to stand on his feet without wincing in pain, and he could quickly... or reasonably so, climb down the ladder. Bill had fashioned a habitable place for himself; it consisted of the bedding. Large crate-like containers were positioned on the long side holding the foods, clothing, and a variety of small tools. Larger tools had been visible on the ground under the platform next a barrel containing freshwater from the stream. Where Bill had gotten the tools, Tom didn’t ask, but he hazard a guess it was scavenged from across the island... possibly from other stranded seamen, or... victims. 

Last night Tom had noticed the water barrel was getting low, so, he gathered the water skins and headed towards the stream to fill them, and in turn the barrel. Bill had long gone about his daily chores, of which Tom still knew little. On his third trip up to the living level, and his last, he smiled in satisfaction. He’d filled the barrel, his ankle bothered him only slightly, and there was still plenty of daylight left to find Bill and start ‘learning’. 

Bill was busy in the jungle. He felt Tom wanted to contribute and he hadn't failed noticing the officer got better every day. It was very stressful to him, because he was quite aware of the Brit's superior strength compared to his own. Although he knew he was turning the man on, it hadn't made him start dressing, or rather dressing differently than the loincloth covering his sex and the strip of cloth dividing his backside. He wasn't deliberately teasing him, but he sensed what his presence did to Tom, what he obviously wanted deep down inside, unlike in his past, Bill did not intend to give in to the man. Testing the effect he had on the older man, Bill stepped into a ray of sunlight that illuminated the place where Tom stood, busy filling the barrel. His lean, hard muscles glistened lustrously, alluringly, and the sexual vision madder Tom stop what he was doing and scowling at each other, Bill slowly continued towards the left hand side ladder. Climbing up he looked over his shoulder to check on Tom, and then he quickly went the rest of the way.

Bill began sorting a few crates and baskets he'd threaded himself. They contained lots of nick-knacks, and sorting them wasn't important, but Tom didn't need to know that. The young midshipman was furious about how the captain responded to him but, still, he was determined not to give in to him. It would be a catastrophe. He could only praise himself lucky, that Tom was so civilized that he hadn't already stricken out and grabbed what he wanted, because there was no doubt that he wanted him.

Tom was irritated that he still had to prove his worth. Nothing he did was good enough, but in Tom’s book that mattered no more. Bill wouldn’t be able to keep up the pretence that Tom was the lazy one around the place much longer. It was time that the kid understood they were equals now, and insisting on titillating and irking Tom was becoming a dangerous strategy. Tom left the place to blow off some steam.

A while later, he came to some rocks tumbled together, clinging to each other as they climbed towards the sky as if reaching for it. Deciding he was well enough to climb them, Tom found footholds every foot or so, hands finding perch in the tiny crevices created by the differing shapes of the rocks, he pulled himself up. Stopping half way up when his foot twisted, Tom realized he was being foolish. Climbing down was easier and yet harder, the rocks that he'd used to go up, refused to cooperate on the climb down, forcing him to seek others.

Feet firmly on the ground, Tom shook his head and moved back toward... camp... certainly not home, that word belonged to Bill. As he neared the tree house, he could hear the movements of the other man, but looking through the foliage, there was no sign of him or the platform; Bill had done a spectacular job of camouflaging it from unwanted visitors.

"Bill? It's me, Tom..." What he was going to say, he had no idea, so Tom left the sentence unfinished.

Bill heard him and slowly, he went to the ladder. "What is it?"  
“Come down,” Tom called up to him. With keen concentration, Tom then watched as Bill gradually climbed down. Then suddenly, he set into motion, neared the ladder, and climbed to meet the young tease half-ways.

Sensing the balance of power shifting shockingly fast, Bill quickly changed his mind from the determined look in Tom's eyes and climbed back up, ran down the platform, and took the other ladder. Tom practically jumped of the ladder and mirrored Bill's motions standing at the bottom of the second ladder waiting for him, making the younger man stop in disbelief.

"Get out of my way," Bill snarled, although he knew what Tom wanted.

"Get down the ladder," Tom retorted. He was tired of Bill's little games, however this game aroused him.

Bill made decision and took a few fast steps facing Tom, where after he jumped and surprised the captain, knocking him to the ground.

Tom wasn't too stunned and pure instinct made him hold on to Bill. Immediately, Bill showered his face and body with fists, but Tom proved to be the physically stronger of the two, and it didn't take long for him to have Bill's struggling body pinned under his subduing Bill. "STOP!" The bellow was loud enough to be heard over a roaring sea, but this close to a human ear, it stunned Bill for just a moment. Seconds later, he managed to disentangle his legs from Tom's and was now, using his heels, kicking the back of the bigger man's kidneys.

"Will you hold still, I'm not going to hurt you!" Tom gentled his voice, but didn't release the struggling man. "Bill... stop!"

When Bill refused, Tom did the next thing that came to mind; he relaxed his body weight, but not the grip of Bill's wrists, and let it smother the smaller wiggling form. "You attacked me - I wasn't going to hurt you,” he lied, but hoped it sounded plausible.

"Damn it, I only attacked you first," Bill cursed, and pushed up but found it was like trying to move a boulder, "so you couldn't fucking attack me!"

"That's not logical!" Tom found himself half-laughing at the absurdity of Bill's statement. "However, I don’t intend on lying here all day, so if I let you go, don’t attack me again."

Bill stilled, his eyes a burning fire of deep blue as he studied Tom. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"You've trusted me so far." Tom eased his grip on the wrists, more circling them now than crushing them in a hold.

"Fine." Bill groused, his eyes still narrowed in anger and suspicion. "Get off me."

When Tom rolled to his side, Bill hissed as the cooler air caressed body parts that had been warmed by Tom's frame. The struggling had caused a friction in other parts of his body he'd not registered, his anger forefront. But now, air cooler than hot flesh, aching flesh had Bill gritting his teeth.

Tom, for all his struggling, wasn't as unaware of Bill to his own body's reaction. He'd felt the rising from Bill's wiggling body, but had fought back acknowledging it. Now, eyes turned skyward, Tom refused to adjust himself, and lay there, waiting for Bill to make the next move.

"Stop waving that dick in my face," Bill said, then he got up, too. There was no way he'd ever acknowledge to Tom how much the man was beginning to turn him on. It had been a while since he had had sex the last time, obviously, and his right hand had been his best friend for a year. He had to seek his private moments in the jungle, when Tom was some place else. Taking his pleasure in bed while Tom lay next to him was not an option.

Stepping closer to Bill, Tom reached out and grabbed Bill's arm. His cock brushed the blue-eyed beauty's thigh. "Bill..."

"Let go," Bill warned him, his gaze strayed to the still prominent bulge between Tom's thighs and with a yank, he freed himself and climbed up the ladder.

Tom cursed and looked at his treacherous crotch. "You're obviously not getting anything, so might as well save the trouble saluting, mate." Bill stood watching him on the platform, a hip cocked and arms across his chest. Turning, Tom went into the jungle to occupy himself once more and avoid Bill's hostile scrutiny. Sleeping in the same bed with Bill tonight should prove to be interesting. 

Swishing his hand in the cool water, Tom washed away any traces of what had occupied him, his mind still on Bill and the current situation. He wanted him... well, his body did. It'd been weeks now since Listing and... "Damn." Standing up, Tom rubbed his hand against the seat of his pants, tiny trails of sweat sliding down his back as he did so. Realizing the rough wool of his trousers chafed his hand, Tom thought about his clothing; he was still dressing as if he strode the wide planking of a rolling ship. 

Pulling his shirt from the waistband, Tom immediately felt the refreshing breeze stirring through the trees touch his skin. It was wonderful! Seconds later, he was down to his small clothes, shirt, pants, socks, all tossed into a messy pile. Wiggling his toes, Tom felt the soft blades of grass slip between them, causing him to giggle. Taking a tentative step forward, the big man felt the sharp edges of fronds poking at him. At first, the prickly sensation startled him, but as he moved through them, it began to feel more of a caress, as if the woods and jungle was accepting him as a part of them.

Returning to the pile of fabric, he hesitated about what to do with them. Logically, if they were ever rescued, he'd need them. Decision made, Tom scooped them up and made his way back to the encampment, his mood lighter, his body more relaxed. Fifteen minutes later, Tom walked into the small clearing, his stride sure... his mind uncertain of the welcome.

The jungle had become darker during his absence, and Tom found Bill hunched at the camp fire, stirring in a pot left by Tom's crew.

"What’s for dinner" Tom asked, conversationally.

Bill stirred some more and eyed him. "Stew. Roots fruits, coconuts, and milk. Meat..."

"What meat?" Tom asked.

"You sure you wanna know?" Bill asked, returning his eyes to the food.

"Probably not." Tom sat down a few feet from him and watched the sparkling flames spew from the burning wood. 

"Fetch the bowls," Bill said a few minutes later. "It's over cooked because you came late."

Tom just stared at him incredulously. Then he got on his feet, grabbed a couple of half coconut shelves, and returned to the younger man. Controlling his anger, he held one out and Bill filled it with the concoction that smelled delicious. Then he gave him the other one, too. Bill took it from him, got up, and sat somewhere else. Tom was starting to become extremely annoyed by his attitude, and as he began eating what happened to be his not overcooked dinner, he practically growled because Bill had blamed him for something he wasn't guilty of. Standing up he went to the water skins and took a drink from one of them. Afterwards, he sought their latrine facility and after that, he went to bed. Bill was still sulking at the fire when Tom pulled the covers over his body.

Looking back over his shoulder, Bill watched with narrowed eyes, how the older officer made himself comfortable on the bed. Crossing his arms over his bent up knees, Bill threw a few twigs into the fire. He did appreciate what the man did around the place. He was no slob. But he had become strong. The fight they had proved that more than anything. It turned him on like crazy, and scared him, too. Images of Tom's long toned legs plagued Bill, now that the man wore less clothes. Bill's cock taunted him when it started to rise firmly from between his legs. In the golden light from the camp fire, Bill saw the swelling along his cock in stark relief, hot red blood eagerly filling tissue until his young flesh pointed upwards, already dripping precome. Closing his eyes slowly, Bill sensed the sweet throbbing in his stomach, his groin, arsehole, and balls. He might not want to accept the facts, but Bill's body yearned to be touched by somebody. Gradually his palm hovered above his cock head. Opening his eyes, he stood up and scattered sand over the coals. 

Then he went to climb the ladder and once he reached the bunk, he stepped in it, crawling over Tom, who grumbled at him. Bill got under the thin covers, too, and for a while, he lay listening to his bed mate's breathing. He wasn't sleeping; Bill could hear it, and he knew Tom was listening back for the signs of Bill having gone to sleep, too. Reaching over with one hand, Bill touched Tom's stubbled cheek. The officer jerked at the unexpected touch, but it didn't make Bill back off. When Tom opened his eyes, Bill saw the longing there in the vague moonlight, and carefully he wriggled closer until they lay front to front. Their breaths mingled and as their heartbeats accelerated, they breathed labouredly. Bill felt Tom's cock rise and lodge itself between his thighs as he parted them, and moments later, their lips brushed.

Rearranging their bodies slightly, Tom trapped Bill's cock between their bellies as he moved closer, his lips never leaving the younger man's. It wasn't a lovers' kiss, but more of a heated touch and the taste of Bill's breath in his mouth had the bigger man shiver at it. Licking the soft lower lip, Tom began sucking it into his mouth, releasing needy cries from Bill's throat. One of Tom's hands travelled to cup the back of Bill's head, keeping him still as he devoured the mouth he intended to bruise. 

Bill groaned in pleasure at the warm contact with Tom's skin, and Tom’s hand moved to the small of Bill's back, making his lover cry out. When Tom cupped the rounded arse cheek and squeezed, Bill let loose with his own grunt of satisfaction. With slow movement, Tom began to thrust between Bill's thighs. At first the hold was dry and rough, but between the building lust, and the natural sweat from the warm night, Bill's thighs were soon moist and slick, Tom's leaking cum added to the wetness. As he increased his speed, the friction between their bellies rubbed against Bill's hard cock, causing him to grip Tom's arms and thrust back.

Arching his neck, Bill moaned freely. Tom's lips followed from his mouth to his Adam's apple and suckled for a few moments. Swallowing, Bill felt the man's tongue lick over the knobbly protrusion on his throat. Hands touched him. One snaked around his waist, and the other still guided his hips into the rhythm grabbing his arse, possessively. Grinding into Tom for while still, Bill bent his head back and Tom kissed him in small eager nips. 

"Huuuuhuh..." Bill cried into his mouth; his climax hit him suddenly, and coming, he released all over their stomachs. Tom smiled victoriously as he let his hand travel to Bill's thigh, pressing it harder against the lower, causing an even tighter friction that resolved in his orgasm shortly after. 

As soon as he was released, Bill rolled to his back and lay panting, his muscles jerking and shaking from the adrenaline rush. Tom closed his eyes and gathered his breath, too. Hardly able to understand what had just happened. Then Bill rolled to his other side, back to Tom. No word or anything, and no attempt to clean the mess between his thighs either.

Tom was about to ask if he was all right, but the rejecting back of his bed mate was not encouraging the least. Rolling so he too faced away, Tom idly scratched at the rapidly drying mess; he could wipe himself off... maybe even offer to wipe Bill off as well. But, considering the cold silence that reigned over them once more, he wasn't about to take a chance. Letting his mind wander, Tom felt the heavy lethargy ebb over him as his sated body hummed in contentment. Seconds later, his eyes drooped, then closed as slumber overtook him.

~~~~~~

DAY 17

When the bright shaft of sunlight struck his eyes, Tom stretched, feeling the wonderful pull of muscle... and the crackling separation of dried spend on his stomach. Making a face, he turned to look at Bill, only to find him gone. Inhaling deeply with his frustration at the evasive move, Tom stood and scratched at the powdery white residue, watching as it floated in the soft breeze to the deck. His dirty blond hair gleaming brilliant blue in the full sun, Tom shook his head. Seriously, what was he going to say? Come live with me in... your tree house? Be my bride? Stupid really, he was in Bill’s debt for so much already and had nothing to offer... Then laughing at his fanciful thoughts, he shimmied down the ladder and towards the stream. Live together indeed; they could barely stand each other.

~~~~~~

Bill sat hiding behind the bushes at the base of the beach. Today the savages would arrive to perform their hideous rituals. Never would he forget it had almost happened to him, and luckily, the German seaman had left the island or they'd sooner or later would have revealed themselves to the tribesmen and suffered the same destiny, thinking they could greet them with peace. Bill didn't think the men's guns would have helped them. They were too few and they'd not see the danger coming. Also, they'd have run out of gunpowder at some point.

The little boats were already in the horizon. Soon, they'd arrive on the beach, and Bill would witness the ordeal because there might be something left he could use. Also, he hoped for the opportunity to steal a boat some day, but so far he hadn't succeeded. The killing was over quickly, and soon they were engrossed in their preparations for the feast. 

Today there was nothing Bill could use and quietly, he left the scenery not feeling like watching the gore particularly much. His thoughts were with Tom and what they did the night before. What _he_ did, because Tom hadn't initiated anything this time. Bill was frustrated by the sudden hunger for physical contact and he wanted more, but admitting it to Tom would become tricky because he didn’t like the officer. However, his needs had been overwhelming last night and he feared he'd continue to give in every night now that his body remembered how good it felt to be touched by the handful of boyfriends he’d had. Looking down into his hand, Bill had mixed a bit of the black paste he used to paint his eyes and spent some time to smooth lines around his eyes. He didn’t really care what it made him look like. He did it because he liked it and hopefully Tom would appreciate it, too.

~~~~~~

Back at the house, Bill noticed Tom cooking at the fire. He stared at him, and Tom looked back up. His brown eyes bore into his.

"Stop looking at me, god dammit!" Bill sneered, and crawled up the ladder tending his many crates as he moved about, squatting.

“I wasn’t,” Tom argued quietly, but he kept sending long looks back to the tense thin body. Bill looked back over his shoulder and caught Tom’s eyes. Tom shook his head. Bill’s eyes looked incredibly intense with the black paint around them. He was frustrated and there was nothing he could do right. His body surged a few seconds, remembering the feel of Bill’s soft tanned skin, how his dark hair tickled his cheek. “Fuck you,” he cursed. It was past noon and so very hot. He needed a break. Not much could be accomplished at this time of day anyway. Bill seemed to ignore this most of the time, but Tom saw he wasn’t much active either and that it had been mostly for show in the beginning in his eager to intimidate Tom.

Narrowing his eyes, Tom went to climb the ladder.

“Don’t even think about it!” Bill threatened him. 

“Or else?” Tom asked. Bill watched agitatedly as Tom reached the platform, then he ran to the other ladder, Tom hot on his trail. 

The two young men raced down the ladder, and Bill decided it wasn’t a good idea to try climb up again the other one like the last time. Instead, he sprinted out of the camp. Tom was still too close and Bill ran as fast as he could, but Tom was just as quick on his feet.

“Stop it!” Tom yelled after him.

“Or what?” Bill screamed back. He was heading towards the beach. It was the only way as close to direct as possible. If he went and turned around the trees in the jungle he’d have to slow down, and Tom would catch him. The officer knew the surroundings better than Bill had imagined.

Finally, the sea became visible and Bill was out of breath from the harsh race. Tom threw himself on top of him to stop him when he finally caught up. Bill was exhausted and he couldn’t even shake off the nea vier man.

“Off me!” Bill shrieked and managed to turn around to get the upper hand, but Tom held on tightly and just as soon, Bill was back on his back.

Tom thrust against Bill’s crotch, his cock hard and demanding. Tom grabbed his dreads and forced his mouth on his in a hot kiss. 

“You’re driving me crazy! You gorgeous little minx,” Tom told him in between wild kisses that only took Bill’s breath away even more. 

Gasping the brunette responded and moaned completely aroused out of his mind by being accompanied of someone who had become more important to him than he cared to admit - even to himself.

Spreading his thighs willingly, Bill urged Tom with impatiently little sexy sounds that shot straight to Tom’s aching cock. “Want you...”

“Yes,” Tom managed to reply, nothing else went on in his brains but how tuned in he was with Bill’s wishes. Bill pushed at Tom’s chest to get them rolling once more and triumphantly, he sat on top of Tom rolling his hips enticingly. Then he removed his flimsy loincloth, and hungrily he leaned forward to capture Tom’s lips. 

The young officer responded with heart and soul and cupped Bill’s buttocks, pressing up to meet him. “Uuuhhh, Bill,” he moaned, bending his knees and kipping Bill’s body forward. Tom’s rigid cock slapped against Bill’s rear, rutting against the tantalising division, parting so willingly for him. 

“Tom,” Bill responded, shuddering with arousal. Copious of pre cum drizzled from his cock in glossy strings, pooling hotly on Tom’s belly. “Do me,” he encouraged him.

Tom scooped as much of the substance as he could into his hand and anointed Bill’s clenching entrance liberally.

Wriggling in his seat as he sat straddling Tom, Bill smiled and encouraged Tom to put his fingers inside him, claiming how good it felt. Tom did as he was told and was surprised by the silky smooth texture of Bill’s inner walls. Tom’d thought about this particular part of love making to another man in his private moments back when he knew it was not going to happen; when he was afraid of the repercussions that could bring his career down and imprison him if he was caught red-handed back home in Hamburg. But out here, there were no one to point their fingers at his actions or preferences. Tom kissed Bill with a deep longing and a hand slid down Bill’s buttocks to guide his cock into the young man writhing on top of his groin.

“This is it,” Tom moaned breathlessly. 

“Get it in. Get it in,” Bill chanted, reaching behind him to try and pry his cheeks apart and not fall over at the same time. “Been too long...” He took a deep breath and then smiled gloriously when he felt the tell tale entry of something rigid and blunt. “It’s in. Goddamn, you’re in, Tom.”

Tom grinned and immediately tried to move his hips. The feeling inside Bill was indescribable. The tightness nothing he’d felt before and it certain felt different. Better. Much better.

“Slow…” Bill groaned lifting a hand slightly and concentrated moved his fingers in front of his face in pretty waves. “Need to adjust…” he purred with his eyes closed and let his tongue wander across his full lower lips. Mimicking his motion, Tom thought their lips looked very much alike, fitting so perfectly together and he dug in for a quick hard kiss.

Falling back down on his back, Tom watched how Bill lifted his body fractionally, then pushed back down diligently only to repeat the process. Tom fell into the rhythm and the pleasurable feeling intensified as Bill accommodated his girth. It had been a while since either of them had sex, and their climax came over them soon enough. 

Bill stilled his body and sat quietly letting the aftermath wash over him. He looked at Tom. The officer was so handsome with his skin rosy from arousal, his dreads all fanning out under his head. Bill liked how they both had them. Obviously, Tom must have been ashore in St. Lucia. The dreads looked old and many summer’s sun bleaching showed in them. Bill understood Tom had been at sea for quite some time. Leaning down a bit, Bill’s dreads fanned all over them, and he kissed Tom softly on the lips. 

When Bill straightened up once more, Tom admired his long fluttering lashes; the upturned featherlike hairs so familiar somehow and Tom realised that his own lashes looked like that. Staring into Bill’s eyes for another while, he saw himself reflected in the warm brandy brown colour. There was no doubt he had been attracted to him right from the start - even when Bill gave him less attention than he would a dog.

Bill needed him. It felt good to be needed.

“I’ll take good care of you, Tom,” Bill promised, and Tom knew that included everything. Rolling them around, he lay on top of Bill, and lazily started to thrust into him again.

After another satisfied climax, they groaned in discomfort. 

“Bill!” Tom winced. Sand seemed to have crept into every crevice of his body and it itched and chafed like crazy.

“I suppose I should have known,” Bill laughed, despite him feeling the rough soreness of the sand, too. “It’s not like I’m used to fuck on the beach, you know.” He cocked a small hip out and gave Tom some attitude before he laughed again, shook his dreads, and made sand sprinkle all over his shoulders and chest.

Tom stared at him dumbly at first before he was able to construct a comeback and said bluntly, “Get used to it then.”

Bill barked out laughing and went to embrace Tom. “I’m done, Mister Officer - unless you’re willing to bottom this time,” he said, rubbing his cock against Tom’s. Tom got that certain look that told Bill that _that_ was not going to happen, and he cared not. He preferred being the bottom. “Let’s go and wash off the sand in the ocean,” Bill suggested. “There might be just as much sand in the water but it’s better that this.” 

Tom took his hand and together they waded out into the salty element. Another hot make out session occurred between the two lovers as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. “Where have you been all my life?” Tom asked.

Bill laughed joyfully before he looked more serious at Tom. “You have a little wife at home waiting for you?” By the shocked look in Tom’s eyes, Bill could tell that he hit bull’s eye. “It’s all right. You probably need someone to take care of your...”

“Shut up,” Tom said sourly. “I’m not married, however, I am engaged.”

“I don’t care. Marry her,” Bill said and shrugged, pretending he didn’t give a damn but he felt rejected all over like he had when Bushido didn’t want him to stick around anymore.

“Bill. It’s a convenience marriage and I don’t...”

“I don’t care!” Bill declared once more. “I really don’t care and I really don’t want to have this conversation!” Turning abruptly, Bill headed back towards the beach.

Sighing, Tom followed him. 

When Tom was back on land, he suddenly realised that the fire had gone out for many days. To take his mind off the stupid fight, he began to rebuild it. Reluctantly, Bill decided to help him, although he thought it was futile. In the one long year he’d been on the island, the only ships he’d encountered were the savages when they came to sacrifice their victims. 

Soon, the bonfire burned with a roar, and the young lovers settled in a tolerable distance from it. 

Later in the afternoon, Bill went to fetch his creatively self-made harpoon as well as bringing along Tom’s coat. Bill succeeded in catching some fish that he quickly prepared and together they had fun frying their dinner on a smaller cooking fire.

Afterwards Tom made Bill sit between his legs – his back to Tom’s front. 

“Wrap your arms around me,” Bill asked, rubbing his head against Tom’s chest. He smelled of sweat, smoke and musk. Bill almost cooed by how attractive his lover was to him. “Where are you from Tom Kaulitz?”

“Hamburg.”

“Oh?” Bill turned his head and smiled. “So am I!”

“Really?” Tom laughed. “Well that’s interesting!”

“I don’t have an address though...” Bill said. “I was thrown out of my home...” He frowned because he just remembered that _he_ was married to Katharina, but he didn’t feel like telling Tom.

“For prostitution?” Tom asked.

“NO!” Bill punched Tom in the shoulder, making the blond wince in pain.

“I didn’t live up to my father’s standards and had to take the consequences for the mess I did with my stupid little life. I made some major errors and... well. What happened after was actually a more fulfilling life than being a clerk in a bank would have been I think… if this hadn’t happened of course,” Bill added, rolling his eyes at the irony. Then he smiled brightly. “Ask me a question,” he encouraged Tom.

“You’re sure you’ll answer?” Tom teased him.

Bill smirked. “Maybe. Yeah, I’ll answer.”

“Where did you get your dreads?”

“St. Lucia. The girl was in love me even before I met her.”

“Was she Ana? She must have thought you were me,” Tom bragged.

Bill chuckled at Tom’s joke, “Yeah, that must be it, Tom. But as a matter of fact, I think her name was Ana. She taught me how to paint my eyes. I tried to pretend I was a girl when I hooked up with men.”

“Hooked up...” Tom trailed, knowing what it meant, but not really being able to put the concept into a context regarding Bill.

“I was a whore in St. Lucia, Tom. Looking like a girl easier got me horny men who would pay for a blow job or more.”

Tom jerked slightly, but Bill felt it and held on to his arms to prevent the blond from recoiling. He wouldn’t be able to take it.

Feeling Bill’s anxiety so keenly, Tom wrapped his arms better around the pretty brunette. “Why?” he finally asked.

“Money. I needed to survive. I missed my ship and had to wait until I...” Bill was spinning a lie right there and wondered why. Then he restarted, “I waited for a while until I wanted to go back home on another ship. Unfortunately, it sank and I ended up here.”

“We had set sails from St. Lucia, too and a storm resolved in me ‘visiting’ this island,” Tom put in a remark.

“Oh, but we didn’t end up on this island at first. I don’t know which island that was, but savages live there and they eat their prisoners. So they rowed everybody out here in turn and began to kill us systematically.”

“What?” Tom asked in a shocked whisper.

“Every full moon, Tom, they come here and establish their macabre fest and they don’t leave until the last body is beheaded and...” Bill let his hand indicate the variety of things the savages would do to their prey.

“How did you survive?”

“I was let out of my cage and then the sun eclipsed,” Bill laughed, rolling his eyes at the incredulity of his own luck. “It was insane but nevertheless it happened right then and there. I had to act quickly and ran away while they stood struck by fear. I hid in the jungle and, although they tried to find me, they never managed.”

Tom looked into the small fire and was grateful Bill hadn’t suffered such a cruel demise. Their feet rubbed against each other, their legs same wise. Tom looked down and a small smile crossed his lips. Their dirty toes were the same, as were their skinny legs. Closing his eyes, Tom realised how drowsy he was.

“Wanna sleep?” he asked and Bill nodded.

Tom fetched his coat and arranged it on the sand for them to sleep on. Then they wrapped themselves in each other’s arms, facing the fire. Tom kissed at Bill’s neck for a while until he couldn’t keep his eyes open and drifted off with a warm and naked Bill snoring slightly in his arms.

~~~~~~


	3. Chapter 3

~~~~~~

DAY 18 

 

“Say Kaulitz... It’s time to wake up, I reckon!”

Confused Tom awoke from a deep sleep and sat up with a racing heart. Bill was no where in sight, and Tom looked around only to scream in shock when he saw Georg Listing standing bent over him; a huge smirk plastered across his handsome face.

“I’m so sorry, Kaulitz. Didn’t mean to scare you!” Listing squatted and looked Tom worriedly over. His friend was stark naked and tanned all over. His skin torn, bruised and dirty. He smelled terrible but he was alive. Listing had forced the ship to return to the island because he still had a nagging feeling Tom might be alive and he had been right. During the night, a bonfire had been observed, proof that somebody on that island was still alive. Now he was grateful that he’d been able to convince the crew to investigate further. “Come along Kaulitz. I’m not an illusion. It’s time to go back to Germany.”

“I’m not going anywhere without Bill,” Tom said as he got on his knees, propriety completely ignored, because, as it were, he didn’t really have any clothes to put on, and Georg was kind enough not to make an issue out of it.

“Well, fine…” Georg hesitated not expecting that. “And who is ‘Bill’? A parrot perhaps?”

Tom looked at Listing like he had lost his mind. “No of course not.”

“A fish?” Georg tried again.

“Bill??” Tom called out, ignoring Listing’s humorous helpfulness. “Bill?” he yelled a little anxiously, his voice carrying loudly across the beach.

In the jungle Bill sat waiting, his heart hammering in his chest. He wanted to go with Tom so badly, but he was terrified all anew. When he woke up, he saw the small boat fluently manoeuvred by six ores coming towards shore. That the bonfire had in fact worked as a beacon for Tom’s rescue was a major shock to Bill. He heard Tom calling for him anxiously. He wanted him to come forth. He wanted to bring him with him home to Hamburg. Bill swallowed thickly. He did want to go home, and he had to trust that he was welcome amongst the crew.

Nervously he got up and neared the men from his hiding place.

“There you are, thank God,” Tom said and rushed to Bill hugging him tightly. 

Bill squirmed and pushed Tom away. “Not her,” he hissed. Control yourself!”

Only Tom just smiled in relief. “This is Georg Listing. An old friend. A true friend who came back for me,” Tom introduced. “Georg. This is Bill...” Tom frowned. “I don’t know your last name!”

“Bill will do, I’m sure.” Bill was not going to give this Listing character his full name. Who knew if these people had some incriminating information about him that would bring him bad luck?

Georg stared at Tom and Bill. “And you just met here?”

“I’ll spare you the details, but yes.”

Listing darted another look at Bill and smiled. “I could have sworn you were...” he began, but stopped abruptly when Bill made a sudden attempt at pummelling him. However, Tom saw it in time and grabbed Bill’s arm hard, pulling him towards him. 

“We’re not on board yet. Save it,” was his turn to hiss in Bill’s ear. 

Bill sent hateful looks at the officer and then nodded courtly. His skimpy loincloth didn’t suffice anymore and he felt naked in a way he hadn’t since before his captivity.

“Is there anything you need to bring with you?” Tom asked. He had no clue if Bill’s stuff meant anything to him. 

There might have been a few things Bill would have liked to take with him, but looking out towards the big merchant ship waiting for them, he thought they didn’t matter. Back at home, they would only be memories of a year spent in unwilling isolation. “I’m ready,” Bill said.

“Could you dress?” Listing suggested to Tom who was still naked. “And perhaps…” He tipped his chin towards Bill’s state of undress as well.

Tom nodded and found his underwear discarded somewhere, and thought what to do about Bill. His lover was indeed very inappropriately dressed, and he didn’t feel Bill should enter the ship equipped thus insufficiently. Finally, he offered Bill his coat, and the brunette accepted his offer.

“There will be a change of clothes on board,” Listing said unnecessarily, but Tom just nodded. He knew there would be. 

After the two lovers had joined the small part, and the little boat returned to the ship, Tom suddenly said, “Bill is a great cook.”

“A cook?” Listing repeated and Tom saw he couldn’t keep a smirk from settling on his face.

“I’m a cook,” Bill confirmed.

Diplomatically, Listing nodded. That would never have been his first choice if someone asked him to guess the profession of the stunning brunette. 

“And I’ll be sleeping in Tom’s bed,” Bill added even if he could tell what the officer was thinking.

“Tom’s bed?” Listing asked with an eyebrow raised.

Tom coughed, suddenly remembering his old fears. “I can explain...”

Listing slapped him on the shoulder. “There’s nothing to explain, Thomas. Who wouldn’t want to share their cot with this beautiful young man?”

Tom looked away, embarrassed to have his inner turmoil out in the open. But in Listing’s question there was also an answer. If everybody wanted to share their cot with a boy like Bill, then Listing would, too. So Tom had nothing to fear if this was what everybody would want to. He only had to fear Bill slipping out of his hands and into some else’s bed and that thought didn’t sit well with him at all.

Well arrived on the ship, Tom and Bill were shown to the officers’ quarters for a change of clothes. At first, Listing was going to suggest that Bill reported for duty at the lower shipmen’s area, but Tom let his friend know he could forget all about that. Bill would not be let loose amongst sex deprived seamen wearing nothing but a coat. Of course Bill wasn’t a girl and as such he could throw a good punch, but still he was pretty enough for many to at least give it a try. A true crisis was bound to happen, so it would be better to prevent fate to run its cause for now.

“Bill stays with me,” Tom stated firmly. Bill tilted his chin defiantly, daring Listing to gainsay his lover.

Finding the authority that came naturally to Tom stepping in place before his eyes, Georg Listing realised Tom wasn’t joking. The delectable novelty would not leave the officer’s side and really did belong with Kaulitz.

“Of course,” the man said. He knew he should be happy that his friend had returned with the ship and, without another word, he turned to leave the men alone to get adjusted in their new surroundings.

“Thanks, Georg,” Tom said. Georg just threw a smile over his shoulder before he disappeared out of the door.

~~~~~~

The journey back to Germany was quieter than Tom had anticipated. He stepped into the rank of an officer and dutifully assisted the other officers navigating the ship back to Hamburg. Not many knew of Bill’s presence on the ship, since he didn’t leave Tom’s quarters much. The few times he did, he caused too much attention and he was not interested in answering any questions about his person. Usually, he recognised the glint of desire in the seamen’s eyes, which lead to predictable questions of where he resided on the ship. As always, they failed to notice he was a male and he always managed to escape them before they demanded more information. Bill was at all times nervous about his safety until he was back in Germany. There he knew how to take care of himself. The nights were spent in Tom’s bed, where the two young men cherished their love. 

When the ship entered the Nordic Sea, Bill considered what was going to happen next and asked Tom one night.

“When we get to Hamburg...” he began.

“I’ll get married, Bill,” Tom stated right away. “I want to.”

“Do you love her?” Bill asked without looking at Tom, but toyed innocently with a perked nipple. He leaned closer and kissed the rosy pebble.

Tom kissed the crown of Bill’s hair. “Uhu.” And it was the truth. Tom wanted to marry Franziska Schäfer.

Bill said nothing, but tried to get the most of the time they had left together.

~~~~~~

Finally back on land in Hamburg’s harbour, the two young men stood for a while just looking at each other. They had survived the island, and endured the rest of the voyage home. Left was nothing but an ache promising a painful amount of emptiness.

Tom didn’t know what to say and Bill had too many things to say. He’d said them all. Pleaded, threatened, begged, yelled even punched out his frustrations. He was crazy about Tom Kaulitz. He was in love with the man and wanted to keep him to himself, but Tom was stoic about his engagement. Apparently, Bill had nothing left but a broken heart. He had had Tom every single night since their rescue, and now he was supposed to settle with nothing? 

“Where do you live?” he asked, but Tom couldn’t tell him.

“I can’t make you happy. You should find a girl...”

“I am already married, you fool,” Bill snarled with teeth gritted.

“Well, I’m sure your wife is out of her mind with worry...” Tom tried to comment, camouflaging the shock Bill’s news surely was visible on his face.

“Trust me, she’s not. The whore’s probably rejoicing that I’m gone from her sight and spends her time in bed with her lover. I wonder how many kids they have by now carrying my name.”

Tom looked away. “I see.”

“I love you Tom Kaulitz,” Bill choked out. “I love you,” he repeated softer, reaching out to touch Tom’s coat. “I want what’s best for you. Of course I do. But please, let me be part of just a fraction of your life.”

Tom swallowed visibly. “I... love you, too. Bill. Don’t lower yourself to beg.”

“I can beg if I want to!”

“Bill...” Tom swallowed. Never before in his life had he been through such pain.

“Yeah?” Bill asked, his bright eyes illuminated so beautifully that Tom had to catch himself from embracing him and kissing him as deeply as he hungered for in this moment. But they were surrounded by too many people. Too many witnesses. Tom was scared to show Bill what he felt. His actions wouldn’t be looked kind on in these surroundings, and too many wouldn’t blink twice to make money telling him off to the authorities.

Bill nodded slowly. “You love me,” he confirmed and Tom shrugged, blushing like a school girl. Bill would find him. Tom wanted to see him, so Bill would find him even if he didn’t want to tell him his address. During their journey towards home, Tom had revealed that his father was Captain Jörg Kaulitz. There was only one person by that name in Hamburg.

“I have to go,” Tom said and reluctantly walked backwards until he had to turn and briskly leave the area not looking back.

~~~~~~

Bill watched Tom through narrowed eyes until he couldn’t see him anymore. Only then did he find a drosche. He had decided to make a trip past ‘Mertz Halls’ to see the state of his former property. Stopping in front of the tall iron fence surrounding the mansion, he noticed there was a lamp lit in one window. “Hang on for a few moments, I’ll be right back,” Bill instructed the coach.

Entering the front door, Bill took a casual round trip visiting the various rooms of the house that used to belong to him. There was nobody around until he reached the upper quarters. Here, he found a maid he remembered by the name of Louisa pottering about doing a bit of cleaning and when she realised his presence she almost screamed in shock at the sudden company.

Bill asked her startled face, “Who lives here?”

“Oh, my goodness! You startled me, Herr!”

“Don’t you recognise me, Louisa?” he asked her.

The maid took a closer look and Bill almost laughed out loud when her facial expression told her that she did recognise him but that she also had not idea what to make of him.

“Herr Mertz,” she said and curtsied. 

“How does my wife fare these days?”

A startled look appeared on the poor maid’s face and she said blushing wildly, “She does not. Frau Mertz died in childbirth a few months ago, sir.”

Bill frowned. “Oh. I had no idea.”

“It was her second child...” the maid tactfully informed him.

“Obviously not from my loins then,” Bill replied dryly. “What happened to this house?”

“As far as we know, the deed to this house was returned... to you, Herr Mertz.”

“Not my father?” Bill asked with honest surprise.

“No,” the maid said nodding. “After all, you were her heir. Your lordship’s father came here and announced this himself, Herr Mertz.”

Bill frowned again. His father had decreed this. Maybe he had forgiven him? 

Bill hurried out of the house and re-entered the cab, ordering the man to drive to his father’s house.

*

Apprehensively, Bill approached his childhood home. The hurt from knowing he had been adopted entered his heart once more, but he tried to regard this as a break through in the strained relationship with his father. Pulling the bell, he waited for someone to answer. Another known face answered, let him in, and showed him to the botanic room where his sister stood tending pots and dirt.

Looking up, Berta studied him with a confused expression in her eye at first. Then recognition struck. “Bill? Is that you? Oh, dear lord! It is you!”   
Berta exclaimed with genuine affection. Dashing around her work station, she flung herself in her brother’s arms, neither of them caring if she made him dirty. “I’ve been so worried about you! And look at you! I wasn’t sure what to call you! How dare you stay out of touch for so long?!”

Bill didn’t respond to that. He guessed that she hadn’t been told everything about Bill’s departure by their father, and Bill decided to keep it that way. He needn’t have her asking questions unsuited for a woman of her standards. 

“I’m engaged to be married, Bill,” she suddenly sprung on him.

“Oh?” Bill said, coughing. 

“I shall marry very soon. Regrettably, my betrothed does not want to live here. I shall be moving to Vienna.”

“But that is far away!” Bill said horrified.

“He honours my condition. I need warmer climate, Billy. We may even move to live by the Garda Sea.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Bill asked taking a step back to study his sister closely.

“TB,” Berta said quietly. “It bothers my lungs.”

Bill sighed in frustration. “Tuberculosis...” He could hardly believe it, but unfortunately the illness was quite common and a warmer climate would benefit his sister and prolong her years. He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry to hear it.”

She nodded.

“Who will you marry and when?” Bill asked instead. 

“Nobody you know, Bill. He has a daughter.”

“Why won’t you tell me his name?” Bill smiled, intrigued.

“Andreas,” she finally revealed looking away. “His name is Andreas Schmidt.”

Bill’s sight swam for a few seconds before he understood the connection here. “My wife’s lover?” he asked in a calm, yet angry voice.

Berta nodded vaguely, perfectly aware of the war raging inside her baby brother. “Forgive me Bill, but I love him and Father has given us his blessing.”

“How long have you known him in this fashion? Do you realise what a charlatan he is? That he orchestrated my downfall in society along with my wife?”

Berta nodded again. “Yes, but we forgave him.” Despite piling all this news on Bill, she made him look at her again, and put one hand on his cheek. “Listen, Bill. He left your wife even before she gave birth to Viola. When the baby was born she did not want to have anything to do with it, her own father certainly had no interest. Alas, we took the baby back here. Andreas was the father, as you’re quiet aware of, and he came to live here to be near her... and we fell in love.” Berta pleaded with Bill and he sensed she was actually telling him the truth; that for once Andreas had been capable of acting like a gentleman.

“And?” Bill asked, because there was more.

“She... had other lovers. In fact, she lived quite the life of a promiscuous woman after Andreas left her and we resented what she did to ‘Mertz Halls.’ But she owned it.” Berta shrugged. “Then she died in childbirth... and Father inherited the mansion in your absence and... gave it back to you.”

“But why?” Bill wanted to know. Needed to know.

“Because he hoped that some day you would come back.”

Bill sucked in his lips. Everything was hard to swallow because the scars still ran so deep. “Did you know I’m adopted, Berta?”

“Yes. I always knew.”

“They told you but not me?” Bill asked already building up an indignant feeling.

“No, it wasn’t like that. Not at all. I just knew you were different, Bill. You never belonged. Somewhere inside your chest there a wild bird longing to be let go of but... This was not the place for you to explore the true side of who you are.”

“It’s true. I never belonged. I tried to fit in... but he didn’t want me,” Bill blurted out, revealing the gender of his lover preferences.

Berta pretended she didn’t hear the slip. “You didn’t belong with Katharina. There will be someone for you, too, Bill. You just need to be patient. Maybe you’ll find someone at the wedding?”

“Well, no offense, my dear, but regarding the wedding, I’ll skip seeing Andreas. So that means I will not attend it.”

Berta swallowed thickly. “I see. But at least I know you’re alive and well. Father will be home soon...”

“I’m sorry, Berta. I couldn’t possibly see him. I appreciate that he gave ‘Mertz Halls’ back to me, but if I’m still declared incapable of managing my own affairs... He can go fuck himself.”

Berta gasped at Bill’s coarse language. “Wilhelm Mertz!”

Bill smirked. “I’m sorry, Berta. But that’s how I feel. He’s not even my real father, remember?” 

Berta looked down. “I can sympathise with your feelings. I had to listen to Father bemoan his harsh decision for the past year while you were gone... but have no doubt that he loves you, Bill.”

“I-I’ve got to go,” Bill was suddenly feeling nauseous. He didn’t really need to be reminded that his father loved him after the way he was treated when he desperately needed him. That Berta was slowly but surely dying, was also a tough pill to swallow. Lastly, the baby Katharina had tried to blame him for, was now in the custody of Berta and _Andreas_ the foul dog that misled Bill from the very beginning. He had to get out. He was suffocating.

“I love you, Bill,” Berta cried after him, but he couldn’t contain anymore and hurried out of the room.

“Won’t you stay for dinner Herr Mertz?” the housekeeper asked him as he passed her in the hall.

“No thank you,” Bill replied, as his long legs took him in the direction of the front door.

Once outside, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He was shaking. As always, too much had happened and his thoughts drifted to Tom’s handsome face. His gut clenched and he missed him. Missed being able to touch him and kiss him. “I love you, Tom,” he said with a shiver.

Pushing himself away from the wall, he back to walk into the city and towards his father’s bank. Still feeling the sea in his system gave him the feeling that he wasn’t walking entirely straight. 

Bill was quite the sight as he staggered around the streets of Hamburg locating the bank. His appearance was entire to exotic to be ignored. His wild hair and painted eyes confusing people into thinking he was a savage and dangerous. Bill just laughed at everybody and finally he found his goal.

Marching straight for the elaborate building he stood there and took all in. Everything looked exactly the way they had the year before. He went to find Herr Willmar dutifully tend his booth. Bill put both hands on the small sill under the window and forced Herr Wollmar to pay attention to him.

“We do not serve your kind...” Herr Wollmar began.

“And what kind would that be?” Bill bit back. “You’re talking to Wilhelm Mertz.”

“Hardly,” Herr Wollmar dismissed him.

“Look at me, you insignificant nobody. I want to withdraw money, or shall I find my father?” Bill responded bitingly.

Herr Wollmar did his best to stay calm and indifferent, but he was obviously running his eyes over the mole Bill had on his chin, and then he spent another few seconds taking in Bill’s face. Bill saw recognition enlighten his eyes, but still the man did his best to pretend he hadn’t recognised his employer’s son.

“I’ll let him know you’re here.”

“No. I want you to tell me the balance of my account.”

Herr Wollmar stopped his motion and then he went in another direction but Herr Mertz’s office.

Bill turned sharply and glared at the people who stood behind, mumbling lowly. “Piss off and find another cue to gossip in.” Bill’s eyes shot knives in their direction making them do as he said, fearing he’d turn to violence. They were close enough in their assumptions.

Herr Wollmar returned and put a folder on the desk in front of him. Opening the folder with a dramatic sigh, the man gazed overt the pages and finally looked up at Bill who fixed him with his dark painted eyes, feeling triumph when the clerk had to look down at his papers instead of taking up the silly fight.

“It would seem that your account consist of a total of 17,000 Deutschmarks, Herr Mertz.”

The amount caused a shock to run through Bill. So much? He’d had no idea naturally. He wasn’t going to waste time pondering how and why there was so much money on his account and asked, “I would like to withdraw 1,000 Deutschmark.”

“Of course, Herr Mertz. One moment.” Herr Wollmar went away once more and returned several minutes later. Bill thought he saw a shadow lingering by one of the columns reaching to the ceiling in the background decoration of the bank, but he chose not to look. He was positive that Herr Wollmar had consulted his father on the cash withdraw.

“As you requested, Herr Mertz. One. Thousand. Deutsch. Marks,” he drew out his sentence as he counted twenty notes in fifties.

Bill stared at the huge paper notes and then he reached out and grabbed them resolutely.

“Herr Mertz... You need to sign.”

Bill threw one last look towards the shadowy figure. Then he cocked his head turning his head back to face Herr Wollmar, letting his dreads tumble over his shoulder in the process. “Why? He knows who I am.” Turning on his heel, Wilhelm Mertz walked briskly out of the establishment to hire a cab that would take him back to ‘Mertz Halls’.

~~~~~~

Quietly, Tom let himself inside his home. Still marked by his experiences, he knew he looked gaunt and miserable, but he would have to try and move on from there. He missed Bill so much he was aching, but it was futile to even pretend they could sneak in visits then stay apart again. Tom couldn’t see how it would be possible.

The captain of the ship that rescued him, had sent a letter to the admiralty to explain what happened to the young officer, and Tom would suspect another letter to be sent to his home. So there would no discrete handling of the matter. His father would get to know that his son was marooned for a while but rescued. Bill would not be mentioned. Tom even doubted the man remembered him because Georg and the other crew members had been rescued as well. 

Well, fine. 

Tom dropped what little luggage he had with him and was greeted by the staff. Soon, he was shown into the sitting room, where his mother and Franziska happened to be present.

“Thomas! We started to become worried!” his mother said with a happy smile presenting her cheek for him to kiss.

“Yes. I suppose you would,” Tom said and kissed Franziska, too. 

Then he smiled at them in turn as they began to ask about the journey, but all Tom could think about was the hot and sultry days on the island with Bill. His concentration failed and he zoned out as tears started to drip from his eyes.

“Excuse me Mother. Franziska,” he grunted before he fled to his room. Sitting there he daydreamed for a long while before his father came home and was told to go and sit with him.

A knock was heard on the door and Tom knew it was his father. “Enter,” he responded.

“Thomas… What is wrong?” Jörg Kaulitz asked. “You just returned home. Your mother and Fräulein Schäfer are very upset.”

“I apologise. I wasn’t well. I... I’m glad to see you, Father,” Tom said with a small smile.

Jörg smiled back and they shook hands. “Seeing you return in one piece is always a blessing, my son.” 

Tom chuckled before his face became serious once more. “I... The voyage didn’t turn out as it should. We encountered bad weather and the ship was lost. Many people died. All but four.”

Jörg’s face whitened. “Dear Lord.” His dark eyes quickly taking in Tom’s frame for evidence, but he said nothing.

“Georg Listing and a few seamen survived with me, but everyone else went down with the ship.”

Jörg sat down on a plush chair and asked, “What happened?”

“We were able to reach a small island and in part rescued by another merchant ship that had also been caught in the storm but came through. They knew we had sailed ahead and they were looking for us. At first, I was not rescued... but the ship returned and took me with them as well.” Tom winced knowing his father would want to know.

“I was injured in the jungle, and it was not possible to locate me, so the crew abandoned me for dead.”

“They should pay...” Jörg began in uproar.

“Please...” Tom said shaking his head. “It was not their fault and besides Listing should be honoured for convincing the captain to return and find me. I’m sure the admiralty will send you a notice about the whole matter.” Not that the captain and Tom had sat down for an exact interview about the whereabouts of his sudden presence on the ship. But some kind of explanation was needed for the logbook.

“Well. Are you better?”

Tom’s thoughts drifted to Bill. Despite that he missed him. “Yes. I’m fine. I recovered on the way home. I was enlisted with the crew so I even got paid.” Tom shrugged.

“That’s good,” Jörg replied conversationally. “Maybe you should take a leave for a while. Get married, and get over the experience, Thomas.”

Tom wasn’t sure that was a good idea. A leave would just give him too much time to pine over missing Bill. If he knew the cocky young man’s last name he could have sought him out in Hamburg. But Bill would not let go of it. To Tom, it was as if Bill didn’t want to be found. Maybe Bill hadn’t loved him as much as he claimed? Tom had to remember that Bill didn’t have a place to stay, so maybe he could find him if he went and searched for him in the various hostelries and inns.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Jörg grunted with a smile. “I meant that you could teach aspirants at the academy. You have a considerable experience by now they could benefit from.”

“Maybe. Right now, I need to sleep for a few hours. I’ll be down for dinner,” Tom told his father.

“I’ll inform the family. Then we can all have a nice dinner soon to celebrate your return.”

“Sorry?” Tom asked.

“With the Schäfers, son.”

Tom smiled apologetically. “Of course.”

When Captain Kaulitz came back down to the sitting room, he informed the ladies, “Tom’s asleep. Let’s not disturb him for the rest of the day. He’s been through a lot.” And then he told them what had happened.

~~~~~~

Awakening with a startle, Tom sat up with his heart racing wildly. “Bill?” He croaked with a sleepy voice. Confused he looked around looking for his lover’s willowy body but this was his own bedroom. He was back in Hamburg. Falling back on the sheets, Tom pulled the duvet closer around his body, truly salivating sleeping in his own bed. Yesterday, he had been too exhausted to appreciate it.

Taking a quick look at the clock on his desk, Tom saw that the time was barely seven in the morning. He’d been asleep for more than twelve hours. Getting out of bed, he stretched and tried to make his sore back comply. He never slept that long simply because his back couldn’t take the unconscious state of not moving for long periods of time. 

Wriggling his spine to cooperate he groaned. He’d slept in his clothes and taking them off, he found someone had been in here recently and provided him with still lukewarm water. Grateful he washed himself down, reducing the worst smell of sweat and what other manly odours that would insult delicate ladies’ nostrils.

After he dressed he tried to make sense of his unruly dreads that needed a wax tending. He went to his desk. It was neatly cleaned of papers. Tom usually had a lot of paperwork to tend to, but for once his desk was clean. His eyes fell on the little photograph of him and his brother - the twin that was taken from him as a baby, and a small smile crept on Tom’s face. How he wished Wilhelm had been here today. Tom always felt such a strong desire to connect with his twin, when he had something urgent on his mind. Those were the times he wished he could confide in him - and tell him all these things about Bill that he felt he wouldn't be able to tell anyone else. Sighing, Tom found a jar of bee wax in his desk drawer, sat down by the window, and went through each dread, securing strands that had escaped while he was at sea. His thoughts were miles away and at the same time they were right here in Hamburg. Yes, he would try and find Bill. It mattered not how long it took. If Tom was to teach aspirants, he had all the time in the world. The only thing that scared Tom was if Bill decided to go back to sea soon. So he had to start looking quickly.

~~~~~~

When Tom deemed himself presentable enough, he went downstairs to estimate the state of the house. It had been more than six months since he last was home and it was soothing to his heart aching soul that everything looked the way it was supposed to.

“Good morning, my dear,” his mother greeted him at the breakfast table.

“Good morning, Mother. You’re up early,” Tom replied as he went to kiss her cheek. Thereafter he sat down heavily in a chair across from her.

“We never got to talk yesterday,” Simone smiled at her son.

“I needed to sleep,” Tom said and nodded to a maid who came to serve him coffee. “Where is Franziska?”

“She stayed here. She’s... staying here permanently. Herr Schäfer died a few months ago. Gustav took care of their financial situation. He offered her to stay but...”

Tom frowned. “That’s... I...”

Simone looked at him carefully. “He decided to end his life. He left no note to explain his reasons.”

“He was tired of waiting for me to come home and marry his daughter,” Tom blurted out.

“Tom...” Simone chided him, but then she sighed. “We have no idea, but I’m afraid your guess is plausible. The thought also occurred to me several times.”

“I suppose it is more convenient to have Franziska living with us than Gustav.” Then he remembered what his friend had told him before the voyage. “Gustav got married?”

Simone smiled. “Yes, and they’re expecting a baby!”

Tom laughed. “I’m happy for them. No wonder Franziska wouldn’t want to bother them.” Then his gaze slid over his mother’s face, and saw the expectation in her eyes. His parents would never say it, but he knew they secretly hoped for Franziska to have children by Tom.

His mother wiped her mouth neatly with her napkin, knowing somehow she was caught. “Franziska is a very logical girl. Very considered. I enjoy her company.”

“As I’m sure I will,” Tom agreed, automatically. Oat meal was served before him, and he approved with a small hum. Taking a spoonful of porridge, Tom closed his eyes. He’d missed the home cooked meals of this house. One spoon full turned into many added with lots of sugared coffee. Simone kept the conversation light and, one by one, mother and son were joined by father and daughter in law to be.

Tom stood up and went to greet Franziska when she entered the dining room. “Good morning. I hope you slept well,” he said politely, and kissed her cheek. Franziska looked pretty with her light hair arranged in pretty braids on top of her head. 

“Thank you, I did. I hope you managed to get much needed rest?”

Tom shrugged. “I slept too much but that is insignificant.”

Jörg helped himself to some coffee by the buffet and dismissed the maid who had tried to offer it to him in vain. “Just this morning’s paper and the mail,” he requested instead.

The family sat down and small talked for a while, before Jörg came to the question that had lingered for a considerable amount of time.

“Tom...” he introduced, “We need to discuss the wedding. Since Herr Schäfer has past away, we will take upon us the task of arranging your wedding. When would be convenient for you?”

Tom looked at his father and then at Franziska, but the girl carefully stayed out of the picture. However, Tom knew her wishes were as soon as possible. “We’re not interested in a big wedding, Father,” Tom said, knowing this, because he and Franziska had discussed the matter in details before he sailed away. “Let’s set the date Saturday a week from now and keep the guest list just within the family.”

“Is this what you want?” Simone asked her future daughter in law and Franziska nodded firmly.

“Yes, Tom and I agree on this.”

“Well, there are a few people I consider important to invite, and I know quite a lot of the staff at the admiralty would appreciate to be able to contribute with a gift for you,” Jörg said.

Tom wriggled his eyebrows. “Let them.” Then he laughed and then they all began to plan the simple wedding in details.

~~~~~~

“Can I help you...” the rest of the sentence stayed short as a clerk tried to establish who exactly he was trying to address.

Bill turned around. His dramatic dreads were gathered neatly with a ribbon and his coat was probably cut with more flourish than one would expect from a gentleman. With his tiny waist it was no wonder that the clerk would assume he was in the company of a woman. Bill stepped closer to him and asked directly, “I seek Offizier Thomas Kaulitz. Where would I find him? Would you happen to have his address?”

“Leutnant Kaulitz is a teacher at this academy.”

“Quite...” Bill said. This was a surprise. 

“The Leutnant recently got married...” the clerk informed Bill. 

_Already?_ Another surprise even though Bill knew he was engaged to be married did it have to be so quickly. 

“Most of us chipped in for a wedding gift.”

“I was away,” Bill said. “Or else I would have participated.”

“Oh,” the clerk said, now his turn to act surprised. “You’re an Officer?” Obviously, the young man didn’t have the imagination to even draw that conclusion.

Bill nodded. “I’m the Admiral Chef.” He rolled his painted eyes with amusement and the clerk stood a few seconds mesmerised by his beauty before he gathered himself.

“There was no such rank as Admiral Chef.”

“I’m hired to take care of his household, but Herr Kaulitz failed to give me his address.”

“Oh. That must be...” the man stopped his sentence again. His mind couldn’t comprehend Bill’s attire, attitude and visage and put those into the forms of proper household staff.

“Are you an actor perhaps?” he dared asking Bill.

“Get it, would you?” Bill prodded the befuddled clerk. The man understood he was overstepping his curiosity and reached for the requested information trying not to embarrass himself more than necessary.

“This should be it”

Bill snatched the paper where the clerk had copied Tom’s address. “Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.” Then he turned in a flourish and sent a wink over his shoulder at the clerk, he knew would be savouring every detail before Bill disappeared out of his office.

Bill had been very reluctant to seek out Tom after he settled in his house. He found that he had a lot of work ahead of him to clean up the mess Katharina had left behind. Too many things were missing, and Bill assumed she had sold it to get money. When the access to Bill’s account had been closed, apparently all of Katharina’s funds were limited at the same time. After Andreas stepped in and took the baby from her, Bill was told that her own father had disowned her leaving her literally penniless. Bill had snorted at the thought. She had become a whore to try and maintain her status. Bill had also become a whore and probably at the same time only on the other side of the world. 

Bill had found most of Katharina’s dresses useful. The material failed nothing and he had several shirts and underwear re-sewn from them. Some of the skirts and dresses were in such a good condition that he was able to sell them. They had hardly been used and were still quite fashionable. His late wife’s taste in clothes had been exquisite and expensive.

Flagging down a drosche, Bill stuck the note into the man’s hand. “Take me to this address,” he ordered the driver. Gradually, excitement built up inside the young man. The possibility of Bill seeing Tom again after a couple of months was suddenly within reach. That Tom had become a teacher was a great surprise and meant to Bill that his lover hadn’t taken on another voyage. In Bill’s book, it also meant in a small way that Tom hadn’t tried to escape him. However, he had taken the time to get married. Of course that had nothing to do with Bill. In fact, he had plans on snatching Tom away from his wife and that was the main reason he was travelling towards Tom’s address now.

~~~~~~

“Can I get you anything, officer?” the waitress asked Tom as his eyes scanned the clientele in the inn. 

Tom spent a few more seconds looking keenly towards a group of young men, but nobody with Bill’s characteristic hair style was present. 

“Yeah, fill it up,” he said, pointing towards his mug. He spent too much time in these quarters, looking for Bill with the hope the young man was here somewhere and hadn’t run off to sail the seas again. Tom had to remember that Bill didn’t have a place to stay, no place to call home, so he had to be around this neighbourhood when he was in need of shelter for the night. His hair was easily detected, but nobody seemed to have seen or heard of him. That worried Tom to the verge of despair.

Every afternoon, once he was done with the academy, he sought this place or others in kind, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bill, but it never happened. 

Tom let his thoughts wander. The wedding had been quiet, modest almost and just family had attended as he and Franziska had requested. Even though they were now man and wife, they still slept in separate bedrooms. On their wedding night, Tom showed up about an hour after they had already said good night to each other. Franziska was expecting him and, when Tom stepped put of his undergarments and joined her under the covers, they lay for a few moments before she pulled him on top of her. The rest went about as formally as much every part of their life together did: companionable and with trust. The experience had been nice and intimate, but definitely not something any of them desired to repeat every night. The need to tell one another that it felt difficult to be with each other this way came naturally. Neither of them felt comfortable sleeping with a good friend.

Tom and Franziska sincerely hoped that she had gotten pregnant that night, because they hadn’t slept together since. Tom thought that maybe it was about time again for him to perform this literally marital duty, because he wished for Franziska to have a child to look forward to for the next time he went on a voyage. 

Tom couldn’t really see himself in the role of a father yet. Nevertheless, when he regarded how his father had always been so kind yet strict to him, he found that maybe it wouldn’t be so strange once the baby was born. To Tom, life’s quirks and turns were easier to take a position to when faced head on. If he and Franziska ever became parents, Tom knew he’d love his child that much more. Because even though Tom had always missed his twin and had longed for a sibling to play with, he also was regrettably realistic and knew that his own child would be an only child since he wouldn’t try and sire another.

When Tom finally returned home, he was late. He was increasingly later home and had difficulties trying to explain the gaps of when he left the academy and what happened in between before he finally came home.

Leaving his hat and coat for the maid to handle, he greeted his mother and Franziska in the sitting room. He decided he didn’t want to tell them anything, and he could tell from his mother’s slightly scrunched nose that she could smell the rum on his breath. Tactful as always, she didn’t comment anything and Tom sat down in a chair, slightly embarrassed that he was drunk in their presence.

His gaze slid over the newspaper folded on the table, but he didn’t pick it up. He didn’t care what happened in the world and was a second from getting up and go and sleep the rest of the day away.

“Excuse me Leutnant Kaulitz, but there is a gentleman who wishes to speak to you.”

Tom sighed. He was not in the mood to receive students at this hour of the day. “Did he leave a card?”

“No, but he told me to tell you he’s an ‘Admiral Chef...’” The maid looked uncomfortable, and Tom’s ears perked.

“A chef?”

“An _Admiral_ Chef...” she repeated.

“There is no such rank as an Admiral Chef, surely!” Simone chuckled.

Tom’s heart was pounding. There was only one person in the world who knew of his name who could possibly present themselves in this fashion.

“What does he look like?” Tom asked, even though he was pretty sure of the identity of this individual. His mind was racing and he was trying to buy time.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Well, in any case, we shouldn’t bother the Leutnant with these matters.” Looking at Franziska with a knowing smile Simone continued, “Applicant interviews are hardly Thomas’ concern. And besides, we already have a cook.”

“That’s all right Mother,” Tom interrupted her, already stressed by the thought of his own reaction should this truly be Bill coming for a visit. He couldn’t handle the risk of him throwing himself at Bill, and had to make sure they could be alone for this possible reunion. Addressing the maid, he said, “Send this extraordinary character to the library and I’ll see what to make of him.”

“Well...” Simone said, startled by the sudden determination that Tom displayed. “If you feel that you’re up to it...”

Tom sent her a warning look not to mother him and left the room in a hurry.

~~~~~~

That evening, Bill had patiently waited, lurking in the garden of Kaulitz’ property, where he anticipated Tom’s return from the academy. When his lover’s arrival dragged out, he became anxious. He longed for him too much and he hoped deeply that his plan held water. Suddenly after dusk, Tom came home. Bill almost yelped when he saw him. Tom’s face was gaunt and withdrawn. Drunk and not walking straight. Bill stopped his desired approach and instead watched as Tom muttered while being let into the building. Bill didn’t know what to make of this. His beautiful officer looked nothing like the proud man who’d left him weak in the knees just from a kiss.

Bill retreated back into the shadows of the garden as he pondered the new information.

He had to see Tom and decide for himself what had happened. Surely, Tom’s marriage couldn’t be the sole reason for his sorry behaviour? So it could only be... Bill quirked an eyebrow, and concluded that Tom missed him. That had to be why he was coming home in such a poor state.

Bill waited another fifteen minutes before he decided to knock on the door.

A maid opened and she looked startled at Bill’s foreign appearance.

“C-can I help you?” she asked apprehensively.

“I’m the Admiral Chef. I demand a séance with Leutnant Kaulitz to discuss a future position in this household, Fräulein,” Bill said confidently and stared directly at her. 

Befuddled by Bill’s overwhelming prowess, the young woman decided to do as Bill requested and bode him to wait in the hall. 

A long time passed. Perhaps even fifteen minutes, and Bill couldn’t help but chuckle. This could only mean that Tom’s had guessed Bill’s identity and was now panicking. Finally, the maid returned and Bill was shown further into the hall and up the sturdy staircase dominating the room. Gradually, their steps brought Bill deeper into house before the maid stopped at a door, pressed the handle, and showed him in.

With an unsure, “The Admiral Chef, Leutnant,” the maid announced him to the man occupying the room. Then she curtsied and disappeared.

Bill stood with his legs slightly spread and his arms folded behind his back, waiting for Tom to acknowledge him. Taking in everything, Bill thought Tom was more attractive than he remembered by the way the light fell on his face. Tom was visibly struggling to lift his gaze upon him, and Bill had mercy on him and began to move forward.

“Stop,” Tom begged him. “Just… stop.” 

Bill ignored him, but moved slower and noticed Tom _was_ looking at him through lowered lashes, as he poorly pretended to study papers on the desk in front of him. Bill swayed in his hips and unbuttoned his coat with quick fingers before he carelessly dropped it on the floor.

Tom looked up with such a wounded look in his soft brown eyes that Bill dropped the act and just wrapped his long arms around Tom’s neck and hugged him.

“Huuuh, Bill,” Tom sighed and holding him back just as close. Bill’s cheek was cool against Tom’s and his lips slid across his sleek cheek blindly seeking his mouth. When he pressed his lips against Bill’s, a whimper escaped him he couldn’t control. “Missed you,” he croaked into Bill’s mouth. “Missed you. Looked everywhere for you.”

“Tom,” Bill moaned. Tom’s words made everything pulse so right inside of him. “You missed me.” Tom kissed him, kissed his face, his hair, and returned to connect with his full, wet lips. This was the passion he’d been without for much too long. Thank God that Bill was smarter in finding him than Tom had been in finding Bill.

“Tom...” Bill said in between kisses. “Stop. We need to talk.” One last outdrawn needy kiss later, and Bill had Tom focusing. “I want you, too, Tom. Albeit all the time.”

Tom kissed him longingly again, and only then let Bill continue breathlessly. “What? Tell me.”

“Hire me as a cook. A chauffeur. Anything.” Bill kissed Tom and desperately moaned his name.

Parting once more, Tom scrutinised Bill’s face. “Clean off the paint and you’ll stand a better chance of appealing to the ladies of the house.”

“Why?” Bill asked, knowingly provoking Tom.

“Because you’re too pretty and we can’t have competition in their own house – if you want to stick around.”

“And if I get the job?”

“Then you’re in. And you can do what you want with your gorgeous self.”

Bill winked. He liked that. “Fine. I’ll clean my face and you’ll present me to the ladies. And you’d better have engaged me,” he warned him.

“As our new cook?” Tom grinned. “It’s ridiculous. We already have a cook.”

“Tom...” Bill narrowed his eyes. “You love me, don’t you?”

“Fine... fuck,” Tom mumbled knowing he wouldn’t let off their cook. Still, he kissed Bill - already imagining himself fucking him in the kitchen after everybody else had gone to bed. But in this house, the servants never really went to bed. There was always someone nearby to answer the bell should one of the family need assistance. Even that aspect was arousing.

“Don’t you, Tom?” Bill purred.

“Don’t I what?” Tom answered - his thoughts far away as he licked into Bill’s mouth, running his tongue across Bill’s. 

“Love me?”

“Yes, I love you, Bill,” Tom agreed and smiled foolishly, falling in love with the young adventurer all over again. His heart felt so light now as he held Bill in his arms and he almost laughed by how easily Bill wound him around his little finger. He loved every second of it and astonished, he looked forward to present this incredible being to his family - cook in disguise or not.

“Clean your face, Bill. Then I’ll see what I can do.”

“Make it happen.”

“Bill...” Tom warned him. Bill grinned and kissed Tom.

“Where can I wash my face?”

“Come,” Tom said. He took Bill to his own bedroom and sat patiently watching Bill clean off the paint. 

“You’re beautiful,” Tom said and came to him when he was done. Bill groaned and wrapped himself around Tom.

“Missed you, you fool. Why did it have to be so difficult to stay together?”

“I had to marry. I-it...” Tom stuttered.

“It’s all right. We’ll find a way.” Bill sucked on Tom’s neck. The bed was alluring and Bill darted dark looks toward it as many times as Tom did, but in spite of their libido calling for them, they managed to behave themselves. They had more important things to attend now. Later – they could always figure out how to retreat to explore the bed.

Resolutely Tom pulled away. “My mother will be worried soon. Let’s go back, before...”

“Tom, we’re not small kids who got lost.”

Tom grinned. “No. Still, they expect me to explain who you are and what you wanted.”

“Fine,” Bill battered his long lashes and laughed at the reaction that got from Tom. Tom smiled bashfully back. Bill loved the power he had on his strong officer. “Let’s go and shock the ladies, shall we?”

Stopping by the library once more, Bill quickly fetched his coat and put it back on. Flipping his dreads free of the neck line, he decided to pull the ribbon and let his hair hang loose all together. 

Tom let his eyes roam all over Bill a few moments, before he lightly knocked on the door to the sitting room. Bill stood a foot behind him and, as Tom opened the door and stepped inside, Bill pulled Tom’s hair band, too.

Surprised, Tom turned and silently asked, _What did you do that for?_ Bill smiled and shrugged. He just felt like it and he liked the way they looked the same this way. Tom snatched back the ribbon and was going to gather his hair when he noticed the odd look in his mother’s face.

“Tom?” Simone stood up and watched her son arrive with a stranger in tow.

Franziska stood up, too. Both women stared at the two tall men who stood silently in front of them. Simone slowly clutched at the front of her neck.

“T-Tom?” she asked and little by little began to move toward them.

Tom had no idea what the expression in his mother’s face was all about, so he expected it could only be Bill who had her feeling bothered.

“I-I would like to introduce...”

“You don’t have to...” Simone whispered and stepped closer to Bill, looking up into his flawless young face. Then she looked at Tom. “Where ever did you find him?” she asked with a small gasp. “Dear Lord. Wilhelm! I-is that you?”

Bill’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Y-yes?” he responded darting a confused look at Tom.

“Mother!” Tom hissed. “What are you doing?” he gathered his hair with the ribbon in short practice motions.

“What am I doing?!” Simone asked still training her eye on Bill. “You’re back. My baby is back!”

Bill licked nervously at his lips as he darted glances in Tom’s direction. “What is she talking about, Tom? I don’t understand.”

“Me neither,” Tom responded worriedly.

“But Tom, this is Wilhelm. Your twin! I’m certain of it. Didn’t you bring him home?” she suddenly asked alarmed, realising Tom’s confusion.

“I did no such thing. This is...” Tom stopped and then his eyes found Bill’s. “Wilhelm?” he asked. He hadn’t really paid attention to Bill’s real name.

“Yeah. Wilhelm Mertz.”

“Mertz?” Simone asks, clearly not expecting that answer.

Bill looks at her weirdly. “I... I was adopted,” he suddenly said, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden.

“Excuse me? You were?” Simone asked breathlessly, staring at him so intensely that Bill couldn’t stop looking back just as concentratedly.

“When is your birthday Wilhelm Mertz?” Simone asked.

Bill swallowed. “September 1st...1873.”

Tom gasped. They’d never even thought about details like these. But now he realised how often he’d thought they looked like each other. So many small details that occurred to him as practical assemblies because they matched so well in every other aspect. 

Simone grabbed Bill’s hair and then Tom’s and forced their heads closer.

“If you already know each other how come you couldn’t see it? _Did nobody ever tell you that you looked identical?!”_ Simone shouted. Then she let go of them and slapped Tom across the face before she slapped Bill.

The twins stood shocked and stared at her. No, they had never been told because nobody really saw them together ever. Georg Listing had hinted something but Tom had ignored it. He felt tears start forming in his eyes and his throat constricted. The internal heat of stress began to make him feel very uncomfortable not quite able to understand what people were saying.

Bill felt the dizzying effect starting, too. Tom was his twin? This lady in front of him was his real mother? Even a blind could tell how much Bill’s looks resembled hers.

“Sit down both of you,” Franziska instructed with a firm but kind voice and she went to lead her husband to sit down. Bill followed meekly, Tom’s hand tightly clasped around his wrist.

“Is this why you’ve been so distant lately, because you found your twin?”

Tom shook his head, ashamed and elated at the same time. Deep inside, he knew there had to be a reason why they were so violently attracted to each other. More than physical. “I didn’t know. We...” he looked at Bill who was biting his lip to try and prevent himself from starting to panic. “We didn’t know. We met on...”

Bill interrupted brutally. “On the ship. Tom had been rescued and I was the cook,” he lied flawlessly.

“So you’re both seamen?” Franziska asked with a curious smile. "Such a coincidence that you both chose a naval career.”

Simone had finally come back to the coffee table and sat down to join them, her eyes focused on Bill’s face. “You’re very handsome, Wilhelm. I would have thought you would have looked exactly like Tom, but you’re... different. The same, but still so different.”

“Thank you,” Bill whispered.

“Are you the Admiral Chef?” Franziska asked with a smile.

Bill snorted and then tried to dry his face from the wetness of his tears. “Yes,” he said.

A short knock on the door was heard and Captain Kaulitz joined the shocked people assembled.

Stepping into the room, Jörg stood for a few seconds and watched the scene displayed before him. His eyes wandered from one dread locked young man to the other. When they looked up simultaneously, he thought he might black out from the information his brain was feeding him. He was staring at his son Thomas but also the little baby boy they lost so many years ago in October 1873.

“So you recognise me, too?” Bill asked the dark eyed officer standing in the room, staring at him much like the way Simone had. 

“Wilhelm...” Jörg said. “How...?” Confused he looked at his wife, but she appeared too upset to respond. 

Then Franziska got up and put her hand on his arm. “We’re not sure, but even they had no idea. We all got the news at the same time. It was Simone who recognised Tom’s friend as her own son. It’s still very new to us all.”

Tom got up. “I’m sorry but I have to...” He motioned to the door and Bill went to follow him.

“Wilhelm... I implore of you that you do not leave the house yet. We need to talk about so many things!” Jörg said. 

Bill nodded. “Of course. We must.”

Readily the other people in the room let them go. Obviously, the two young men were shocked to have found each other so sudden without even knowing who the other truly was to them.

In silence, Tom and Bill walked up the staircase. None of them talked. It would be wise to wait until they were alone in Tom’s bedroom. Once there, Bill drew Tom into his arms and let his lover feel him. 

“Wasn’t expecting that,” Bill said and rested his chin on Tom’s head.

“Wasn’t expecting that no. Was expecting them to laugh at us and make you see that your request was futile. I would have fought for us.”

“T’wasn’t necessary. I already belong to this house. I don’t need a title or anything.”

“Bill. We’re twins...” Tom said.

“Twins?” Bill snorted and coughed. It was crazy. 

“We’re one already. We were never not together. We just... got parted for a while.”

Bill nodded silently. “I wonder why I was adopted...” Bill laughed humourlessly.

“Come to bed,” Tom said and pulled out of Bill’s arms. He quickly undressed until he stood naked as the day he was born. Bill followed his example and joined Tom on his bed. Immediately, they curled around each other, truly understanding why they felt so good in each other’s arms.

“We lay together like this even before we were born,” Bill mused. “This is the way it’s supposed to be. I cannot part from you again.”

“You don’t have to. You’ll see. Mother and Father will insist that you live here now.”

Bill snorted. “Much as I would like to, I do have my own house now.” His voice dripping from sarcasm.

“Bill?” Tom asked, concerned.

“I found out that while I was away, my _darling_ wife had died giving birth to someone else’s child for the second time in our very short marriage. I own a house. A small handful of servants to maintain...”

Tom kissed him. “Bill,” he repeated.

“Tom,” Bill answered and bent his hips to seek more closeness and to feel Tom’s cock warm and interested against his. “Tell me,” he asked and licked small stripes across Tom’s tongue.

“We were visiting a family when we were small infants. Someone took us for a walk and your carriage got lost. Mother and father never found you again. You’ve been missing my entire life, Bill.”

“How was I lost exactly?”

“The girl walking you was a half wit and had no idea where she had dropped you off. An orphanage yes, but which... well, she couldn’t recall.”

Bill sighed. “I only knew I was adopted recently when my father threw me out of his home. He thought that was the opportune moment to inform me of my vague past; that I was not his real son.” Bill’s voice broke and, to his astonishment, he broke into sobs. Tom held him close and kissed his cheeks, kissed his mouth. Slowly he rocked his cock between Bill’s thighs, trapping his twin’s between their bodies and the loving kisses became hungrier as they neared their orgasm. Moans were exchanged enthusiastically no matter how quiet they tried to keep it down.

“Urgh...” Bill moaned finally and nosed into Tom’s sweaty neck. A satisfied smile spread all over his face. It grew wider when he felt Tom responding in kind.

“Brothers...”

“Twins,” Bill corrected. “We can do whatever we want. That we were ever separated was wrong.”

“We had no chance to prevent what happened...”

“No silly!” Bill swatted Tom playfully. “I mean that we should never have been parted even before we were born.”

Tom laughed softly. “Well even that was hardly anybody’s fault but our own!” Bill laughed, too, and let Tom pull him in for a kiss of passion. Parting again, Tom nodded. “But I agree. It feels only natural to us that we need to be with each other.” Tom caressed Bill’s thigh that was slung over Tom’s hip, his buttocks alluringly divided. “I’ve never felt the need to belong to anyone the way I need belong to you.”

“We belong to each other. We always did. So strongly that we had to become two people to stay one.” Bill said and closed his eyes. “We’re two bodies in one mind.”

“Need you,” Tom moaned in hushed whispers. He didn’t care how dramatically it sounded because it was how he felt.

“Need you, yes,” Bill chanted back at him, smothering him completely with his proximity. “Fuck me, Tom.”

“TOM?” a female voice called that became louder as her steps neared Tom’s bedroom.

“Damn...” Bill groaned, but when she stopped in front of Tom’s room, they both panicked.

Quickly, Tom drew the covers over Bill’s head and his twin wriggled further down. “One moment, dear!” Tom called out well knowing how pitchy his voice sounded.

“Tom?” Franziska asked again. Then she entered the room. 

Tom’s eyes looked dazedly at her. Bill lay as flat as possible against him, softly chuckling soundlessly, but Tom felt the motions of his body.

“Where is Wilhelm?” Franziska asked. “He didn’t leave already, did he? And... why are you in bed? Are you ill?”

“What do you want me to answer first?” Tom asked, his brain struggling to cope with all the stressful questions.

“Are you ill, dear?”

“I’m...” Tom started.

Franziska smiled. “You look flushed.” Then she wrinkled her nose and pondered. “What’s that smell?”

Tom positively looked guilty and he closed his eyes feeling faint when Bill struggled to stay still and quiet. Then Franziska seemed to understand a bit of what was happening around her.

“Tom... I know you need more than you can get from me, and...”

Tom shook his head and fixed his dark eyes on her. “Please just leave it.”

“Fine. I shall. Your parents need to know...”

“He didn’t leave,” Tom admitted. “Maybe he’s exploring the house?”

“But you talked?”

“Franziska... do we have to have this c-conversation now?” Tom asked as pointedly as he could muster while feeling Bill’s hand do his own explorations on his body.

She didn’t respond right away and Tom bit his lip when her eyes darted downwards a second and then up to fixate Tom’s. Tom could hardly breathe as his hand held tightly around Bill’s wrist to make him stop.

“Tell your twin that he’s very welcome into our family. I’m sure you love him very much,” she said.

“Franziska...” Tom began feebly. 

“In fact, Thomas, I insist that my brother in law pays us many visits as often as possible. Get better husband, dear,” she finished and left the bedroom right away.

Tom exhaled shakily and inhaled again rapidly feeling lightheaded and positively as ill as he’d pretended to be just moments ago.

Bill moved swiftly to get his head above the covers again, sweat was gathered on his forehead and he looked at Tom biting his lip in mirth. “Did she believe you?”

“You heard what she and I discussed, didn’t you?”

“No. I was busy elsewhere.”

“She saw. She knew you’re in my bed.”

Bill stopped smiling. Then he shrugged. “Sorry. I...”

“She accepted us, Bill. That’s what happened,” Tom corrected himself.

Bill cocked his head and empathised immediately. “That’s very generous.”

“My wife and I, we don’t have an _intimate_ relationship. She’s more like my friend. A good friend. A loyal wife.”

“And she accepts you don't take her to bed?”

“She... we’re quite clear on that actually. She desires me as little as I desire her.”

Bill pulled his lip and looked scrutinisingly at Tom. “Did you sleep with her yet?”

“On our wedding night but not since then.”

“You want children, Tom?”

Tom nodded wryly.

“It’s all right. Children are a blessing.”

“Your wife...?” Tom stopped.

“I didn’t father any children. She had other men she fucked. One of them is now...” Bill laughed softly. “Gods...” Biting his lip he focused on Tom. “He’s marrying my sister and together they’re raising the child my wife tried to trick me into believing I had fathered. I was soooo naïve, Tom.”

Tom laughed with him. “That’s crazy, Bill. So the child is his?”

“Yes. So technically, the baby I was supposed to have fathered is now my niece... Or at least will be.”

“But not by blood.”

“My wife gave birth to her... Ach, never mind! Doesn’t make it my blood anyhow.”

“So you have a sister?”

“A younger sister. Berta.”

“You’re close?”

“Close enough. I told her I would not attend her wedding. The whole affair is the reason my father threw me out of the house to begin with.”

“Because of...”

“Andreas. I was desperately infatuated by him, only trying to please him.”

“Please him? Did you...?” Tom insinuated.

“No. He never acted upon my obvious affection for him. His only interest in me was to make me marry his friend Katharina who, via him, had become my friend, so the two of them could leach on my money.”

Tom stared at Bill and leaned in to kiss his soft warm lips. “You have money?” he smirked.

Bill grinned. “I have some. My father founded a trust for me. My wife took advantage of it thinking it was for her personal expenses.”

“What was your career choice?”

“I was studying to follow my father’s footsteps. He’s a banker.”

“What’s his name?”

“Heinrich Mertz.”

“I think the name has crossed my path if you have your own bank?”

“Mittelbank Hamburg. That’s us.”

Tom frowned. “This family is your customer.”

Bill dropped his jaw. “Really?”

“Really.”

The twins lay for a while thinking about fate and how their ways had been entwined so intricately.

“The chances that you and I found each other on that island are...” 

“It’s not even logical.” 

“It shouldn’t have been possible.”

“So it’s fate entwined with all the little whimsical coincidences that make up our lives.”

“My father would probably blame it on God. He always blamed God for your disappearance.”

“I don’t believe in God,” Bill said.

Tom looked down. He supposed he did believe in God, but he knew what he and Bill were discussing - were _doing_ \- was considered a terrible sin. Twins or not - just being two naked men lying in the same bed together was all it took. “We should get up,” he said.

Bill yawned. “I know.”

“It’s going to be emotional.”

“On your mother?”

Tom frowned. “Well, on _our_ mother.”

“Riiiight,” Bill added, slowly. He’d never had a mother and wasn’t sure he needed one now when he was an adult. He sure didn’t need a father. One was more than enough, even if that one wasn't worthy of the title.

“Let’s get dressed.” Tom stepped out of bed and shook a little from the change of temperature.

Bill sat up and looked at Tom getting dressed.

“Slower...”

“What?” Tom asked, turning.

“I love how you look.”

Bill crawled across the covers toward Tom. His body was long sharp angles and sleek limbs. Then he stepped out of bed and went to Tom. Tom surprised him by pulling his naked body close and kissing him hard and possessively. 

“Stay with me and get rid of the house,” Tom commanded when he let go of Bill’s lips.

“Oh, I’ll stay all right, but I’m not getting rid of the house,” Bill threatened back, nipping at Tom’s lower lip.

Tom grinned a little menacingly. “You’re not dressed to the occasion. I just want my parents to get a chance to know you.”

“I’m not going anywhere. And I’m as good as already living in this room.” He stared at Tom pointedly.

“But...”

“Yes, I don’t care what the servants _or_ your family says.”

Tom wasn’t going to correct Bill again, because he acknowledged that it would take some time for him to adjust to the thought that Tom’s parents were also Bill’s. Instead, he kissed Bill like a lover and only then did he let go of him to get dressed. And finally, both twins were ready to go back to the rest of Tom’s family.

~~~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

~~~~~~

“Wilhelm,” Jörg Kaulitz said greeted the flamboyant young man who had suddenly been graced back into their lives.

“Please, Bill is fine,” Bill quickly said. The captain looked directly at him in a way he wasn’t used to. His own father - _adoptive_ father never looked at him with such interest. Bill had always been worried he’d disappoint him, because he usually had, so whenever he wanted to address Bill, Bill had always avoided direct eye contact fearing what else was wrong this time. But this man was different. His dark brown eyes scrutinised him as if he wanted to memories every detail of him, and Bill couldn’t look away.

“My son,” the man said, his voice audibly shaky. “Did Tom tell you what happened?” They both gave Tom a glance and Tom looked away upset. Simone sat quietly observing them all. Franziska was not in the sitting room any longer and Bill couldn’t blame her.

“Yes. I was lost by a nanny,” Bill said

Jörg blinked and asked Bill to sit down.

Wanting to please the authoritative man, Bill did as he was asked and was told everything that had happened that fateful day when the Kaulitz had visited friends and returned home a child lesser.

Simone cried softly as the old memories were ripped open again, but the outcome had a better ending than the previous times the tale had been told. Bill’s face was wet, too. He felt a violent connection to these people after the Captain – his _father_ was done. He went and embraced the man who stood up immediately to receive him. He had never embraced his own father. Never been embraced by him, either, so feeling the strong arms around him was almost making Bill dizzy. He knew he would never be too old to be comforted by Tom’s father. By his father. Arms joined them and Bill found himself embraced not only by the Captain, but also Tom and their mother.

The bonding with these people was so strong that Bill was nearly floating with how overwhelming every aspect felt to him. A long time seemed to pass as the four of them stayed like that. Then Tom let go and pulled Bill out of the group for an embrace just for him.

Finally, Bill couldn’t handle more closeness and freed himself. Glancing up, his eye caught movement by the door and he locked his gaze with Franziska who watched them.

“Franziska,” he acknowledged the woman.

Simone dried her eyes and smiled at her daughter in law. “Well,” she said, “You will stay for dinner, dear? Won’t you?” she asked.

Bill nodded. “I’d like that very much.” Simone touched his hair and smiled shaking her head in wonder. “It’s eerie how much you look like Tom...in spite of the black hair.”

“It’s fake, Tommy. I dyed it in the islands when I was away.”

“But you had black hair on the island, Bill,” Tom pointed out and, a second later, he shook his head. Why was he contributing to this bizarre conversation?

“I know. I my own methods to keep it dyed,” Bill said, flirting shamelessly with his twin who looked away as he cleared his throat.

“Your roots are showing,” Franziska commented. Her eyes taking in every detail of Bill’s hair and face.

Bill sucked in his lips, but wasn’t really offended because he didn’t get the vibe that she was in fact insulting him. Merely stating the facts.

“I stopped dying it.”

“Well, that explains it then.”

“ _Your_ hair is pretty,” Bill said. And it was. Her hair was a shining Scandinavian blonde much like her brother Gustav’s. The way the pretty swirls were arranged on her head was intriguing. Her maid must be gifted. “Do you think your maid could work on my hair?” he suddenly asked.

Tom hissed, “Bill!”

“Well she could! Of course!” both Simone and Franziska said at the same time.

Bill smirked at Tom. His twin didn’t stand a chance when Bill decided he wanted something. Living on his own on the island had taught him to get what he wanted now and not later.

“Dinner is served, Frau Kaulitz,” a maid announced.

“Thank you, Ursula.” 

The family got on their feet and left the sitting room.

“What are you doing?” Tom hissed at Bill once more. “Trying to make my wife your bosom girlfriend?”

Bill didn’t respond to that because it wasn’t such a bad idea, and maybe he was?

Tom ignored him and took his wife’s arm as all of them walked towards the dining room.

Bill went and sat next to his father when he was urged to comply. A spot that looked like Tom was usually sitting there because Franziska sat next to Bill. Tom sat on the opposite site of Bill and their mother took her place at the other end of the table. Bill looked down at the table and smiled at her. She looked back. The contentment in her eyes was reassuringly, and Bill felt so much at home.

Conversation strayed away from how the twins met and mostly to how Bill’s life had been. Bill was brutally honest in his opinion of his own upbringing. He found that his parents were different than how his adoptive father had treated him. Bill had been used to the stiff fashion Heinrich Mertz approached life and the people around him combined with an over protectiveness of Bill and his sister. But then he was adopted and, in a way, Bill could understand how Heinrich was determined that nothing would harm his heir. 

These people would have raised Bill to be allowed to scrape his knee and fall from a tree if his games had brought him in that direction. He would have grown up with Tom.

Feeling overwhelmed, Bill got up and needed to express is feelings. Everybody got up slightly alarmed, but Tom got to Bill first.

“I’m sorry. I just love all of you so much.”

“We love you, too, Billy,” Tom assured him. When Bill had had his moment, he sat down and apologised to Franziska who just smiled.

“Don’t mention it. You’ve been away for too many years. It’s understandable that it is difficult to take everything in at once.”

Bill nodded.

Simone asked, “Is your sister adopted, too?”

Bill frowned. “I honestly don’t think so. I mean...” he waved a fork in thought. “My father claimed my mother died in child birth.”

“Oh,” Simone nodded. “I’ve seen it before. Adoption because one couldn’t have their own child. And once they had the adopted child they did become pregnant.”

“It sounds very plausible. My sister is just two years younger than I.”

“So you never knew your mother?”

“No. A handful of nannies passed through my childhood, but my father never remarried.” Bill’s thoughts strayed to the various maids his father had taken to bed and wondered how his life would have been different if he’d had a stepmother. Somehow he knew he wouldn’t have run to sail the seas. And that was a terrible thought because he wouldn’t have met Tom then. His eyes rested on his twin’s face and found that Tom was looking back at him.

“Which one of us is the oldest?” he asked, smiling when he saw a little smirk in the corner of Tom’s lip. The answer was pretty much predictable.

“Tom is. By ten minutes,” Jörg said with a fond grin. “You were both so small; I feared I’d break you when I came to greet you for the first time.”

“Tiny little babies. Oh, how I loved you already, Wilhelm,” Simone said, immediately excusing her emotional outburst. They seemed to erupt quite unexpectedly.

Bill just smiled and finished his dinner. He sat in thought for a while and made a few decisions. He no longer wished to see his adoptive father again. And he decided to prepare a letter denouncing any relationship with him. Whatever his father reasoned Bill might inherit after his death, he had no interest in. He wished his sister and her children by Andreas’ to inherit everything. Bill didn’t want to hear from the man ever again.

After a fulfilling dinner, Bill excused himself and his mother told a maid to show Bill to the room that had been prepared for him. Instantly, Bill recognised Tom’s bedroom and his own was exactly across from it. Pondering, Bill imagined that this room had always been his, and when he stepped inside, he did find a few items that could have been his. There was a sweet wooden toy soldier with a ‘W’ engraved on the bottom and Bill sniffled a little. He wasn’t used to these emotional outbursts, but he sensed he was entitled. It wasn’t every day you got your long lost family back.

Bill sat down by the small desk next to the bed and took advantage of the writing material already put there. Then he began to write the letter he had composed in his head, annulling all references to Herr Heinrich Mertz. At the same time, he informed the man that he had found his true family. And that was it. He didn’t feel like telling him any more of the story.

~~~~~~

Later that night, Tom went to Franziska. He felt they had to be frank with each other like they had been from the start.

“Tom? His wife asked, startled. Clearly she wasn’t expecting to see him.

“Goodnight, dear,” Tom said. “Can I approach you?”

“Of course,” Franziska smiled and invited him to sit on the edge of her bed.

“How are you?” he asked. “I’m asking, because I know I haven’t been much of a husband to you.”

“You’ve been looking for him.”

Tom nodded guiltily. “I was.”

“But you didn’t see that he was your brother - even if it’s clear as the sky is blue.”

“No. Even now it’s hard for me to see it – although I do see all the similarities. I love those similarities.” Tom stopped talking. His voice had become painfully passionate.

“He’s beautiful,” Franziska complimented Bill.

Tom snorted and looked at her. “Wouldn’t that make me beautiful, too?”

Franziska laughed softly. “Funnily enough, no, I don’t think of you as beautiful.” She looked more intensely at Tom. “But now that you mention it, I suppose it’s not unreasonable to call you beautiful, too.”

Tom almost looked horrified, because it had definitely not been his intention to be called beautiful by his own wife. “Let’s drop that, shall we?”

Franziska nodded amusedly. “Consider it dropped.”

“Ziska... we need to talk about... the other thing,” Tom then said imploringly.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “Isn’t it enough that I know and approve of your closeness?”

“Would... would you like me to stay tonight?” Tom asked.

“Please. That would be... my pleasure,” she said and looked embarrassed.

Tom undressed until he stood in his shirt and then he slipped under the covers. “Would you like the opportunity to undress, as well?”

“You’re so polite, Thomas,” Franziska whispered. “Just feel your way around.”

Tom couldn’t help grinning and their second union was done in a much lighter mood. They didn’t feel awkward afterwards like the next time, and Tom even spent a little time kissing Franziska, but subsequent to that, she became restless and he knew he should leave. After all, they weren’t in love.

Standing outside in the hall once more, his eyes darted a couple of doors down to where he knew Bill was. His feet took him the short distance there and smiling he knocked softly on the door. Stepping inside, Tom immediately located the bed and its guest.

“Doing your rounds?” Bill asked, his dark eyes glinting, as light from a gas street lamp outside the house slipped into the room from a crack in the curtains.

Tom looked away but came to him nevertheless.

“It’s fine, Tom. Had I not liked her, however, I would have claimed you exclusively,” Bill said.

Tom still didn’t say anything but stripped for the second time that evening and slipped naked into Bill’s bed. The twins lay still just listening to each other’s breathing.

After a while, Bill turned his back to Tom and inched closer. Tom turned towards him and spooned his brother’s little body. His bulkier frame wrapped around him, securing him in a loving yet possessive hug as he buried his face into Bill’s dreads. “Sleep tight, brother.”

“Sleep tight, brother,” Bill replied in an already sleepy voice.

~~~~~~

In the morning, Tom knew a maid would probably find them when she gained her access to Bill’s room to draw the curtains, but he cared not. He didn’t even care that she would gossip about them in the kitchen. Chances were in fact that she would not. It was extraordinary how frightened, even bordering on terror, that Tom had felt all his life. For someone to discover where his sexual references truly lay and what the consequences of discovering that would mean to him, his career, family and life. He could be thrown to jail. Bill could end up in jail, too if the incriminating information was passed on to the proper authorities.

But Bill had such a calming effect on Tom that he simply couldn’t find it in himself to worry about getting caught. Pulling his brother’s naked body close to him that early morning - the second day in the knowledge of them being closer than close - Tom was just content that he had found a person he could love, and who loved him back unconditionally. They were twins. There was no way ever they would not depend on each other and stick together in everything.

Tom turned his face towards the window and sighed. A brave blackbird sang the last song of autumn; the sounds reached his ear in spite of the closed window. Winter would soon announce its arrival and Tom wondered what the future would hold for them all. He would probably go back to sailing the seas, but he would make sure Bill could be with him in a better job description and not hidden away in some dirty kitchen.

The door opened quietly, and Tom turned his head and looked the maid straight in the eye. Taking in her stunned reaction to the view of the two young masters of the house in the same bed, Tom then closed his eyes, moving closer to Bill who threw an arm around Tom in his sleep. 

“G-good morning, Herr Kaulitz,” the maid mumbled.

“Shhh,” Tom replied quietly. “Don’t wake my brother.”

“No, sir,” the girl responded immediately, hastily drawing the curtains to let in the sharp morning light before she left again.

“I’m awake,” Bill slurred.

“Go back to sleep, Bill.”

“Fine,” Bill responded. “And stop thinking. You’re making too much noise.”

“Was just pondering about the future.”

“I figured you would. It’ll be fine.”

“What will we do?”

“You’re teaching. That’s good. I’ll cut off all ties to my adoptive father and get my name back.”

“God yes,” Tom moaned. The thought of Bill getting his name back worked as an unexpected aphrodisiac.

Bending his neck, he slipped his hand down Bill’s back. Then he smoothed back up the warm soft skin and cupped his palm around Bill’s nape. The kiss that followed was deep, satisfying, and fuelling their loins immediately. Pulling away from the kiss with a decadent wet noise, Bill turned and crawled across Tom, sitting astride of his groin. Tom gasped. Bill hair hung wild around his shoulders and he looked positively like he was going to devour Tom in every kind of way. Tom’s own hair was pretty much in the same state. He had no idea he brought the same hungry feelings up in Bill; that Bill found his twin to be the most arousing sight he could ever think about, too.

Single-mindedly, they rutted against each other. Their skin became slick and sweaty, their erections dripped with strings of precome. 

Looking down at the point where their bodies were connected, Bill then arched and smiled. “Do you think we can fuck in peace and not wake up the rest of the house?” Small sounds from the halls and through the walls were already detectable that at least the staff was doing their daily chores.

Tom licked his lips where after he dropped a hand from where he was holding Bill’s hips. Swirling a few fingers in the pool of crystal clear juices, he reached around Bill after his baby brother had moved upwards, levelling his rear gradually.

When Tom pushed a finger into Bill’s body, the younger twin leaned down and moaned sexily into Tom’s mouth. “Hurry, Tom.”

“Don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’ll worry about it later.”

Tom grinned. “Dirty boy...”

Bill smiled widely, pleased by how he aroused his strong officer.

“Were you ever punished?” Tom asked, adding a finger.

Bill chuckled. “At home?”

“At home. While sailing...”

“My father whipped my hind occasionally. I never seemed to do things the right way, and he liked to remind me.”

Tom let his hand glide over the buttock closest to his hand, groping the well-formed flesh in his palm. “Did you cry?” he asked.

Gasping softy, Bill replied, “I always cried because he would stop sooner.”

“Bastard,” Tom kissed him.

“I’m sure he thought I must have been one. Who else drops off their offspring if not slutty unmarried girls?”

“Were you disciplined at ship?”

Bill grinned. “Oh, so now it’s disciplined? Did you ever discipline people?”

Tom nodded. “I like disciplining.”

“So you thought you could discipline me on the island?”

“I seriously wanted to whip you and control you, but I was wise enough to regard you as someone I should stay friends with if I wanted to survive in the wilderness.”

Bill smiled. “You were very wise; however, I whipped your arse instead, didn’t I?”

Tom snorted and tilted his hips, making Bill fall forward. Pulling out his fingers, Tom found more precome on his belly and lubed his hard cock copiously. 

“Stick it in...” Bill said, licking his lips and widening the stance of his knees on either side of Tom; pushing his arse backwards into a good position for penetration. “Fuck me, Offizier Kaulitz,” he rasped at Tom.

“Private Wilhelm Kaulitz...” Tom groaned and pushed into Bill’s hot body.

“Sit up Thomas,” Bill asked and let Tom slip out again.

“Mnhh...” Tom groaned but, after a quick adjustment he sat up against the head board, and Bill quickly moved back into his previous position, guiding Tom back inside his body.

Slowly, Bill moved up and down, getting the feel of the position and how hard Tom was before he could increase the speed.

Moaning at the feelings the friction created, Tom put his hands on Bill’s hips, helping him with the steady rhythm.

“Don’t stop doing this to me,” Bill moaned breathily.

“Never. Will never stop doing you,” Tom assured him, as he tried to shove into Bill on his twin’s down thrusts. 

Bill stopped bouncing and instead rotated his hips, squeezing Tom’s rigid flesh.

“Ohhh,” Tom cried out. Then he tipped his chin and concentrated on Bill’s face. The way his full mouth had gone slack, how his burning eyes were closed with his long eyelashes fluttering. So unbelievably beautiful and sexual in the throes of the sensations in his body that Tom had to grab him and control their movements. Trusting his strength, Tom put Bill down on the bed, while he was still lodged inside his body.

Pushing Bill’s legs up, Tom got on his knees and when Bill’s long limbs had secured their grasp around Tom’s waist, he fucked his baby brother in earnest. He drove into Bill with short, hard thrusts that made the bed make noises reveal with no mistake to anyone within hear sight what happened in Bill’s room. Tom didn’t care. He craved Bill so much that his body was trembling with the vigorous exercise; striving to chase his orgasm and in that process to possess Bill. The entire thought caused a tidal wave of arousal to flush through his body and he came hard with a hoarse shout, gushing his seed inside Bill.

Bill hadn’t uttered a word after Tom flipped him onto his back. The manly manoeuvre turned him on more than words could say, and all he was capable of was hanging on to Tom and follow his direct pounding into his entrance. Scrunching his eyes tight, he kept his breath and, when Tom pulsated inside him, vocalising his pleasure, Bill moaned out his own and came all over their stomachs.

Death to the world, the twins lay in the bed trying to calm down after their intense coupling. Their blood was pounding in their bodies, the noise soughing in their ears. Only when the sweat and sticky fluids gluing their front together did they part.

Bill shivered slightly and stumbled out of bed, moving towards the porcelain washstand to clean up.

Tom watched him with narrowed eyes. Bill was gorgeous. His hips now had reddish marks from Tom’s fingers where he had gripped them none too gently. Tom wished his finger prints were part of the colourful collection of tattoos on Bill’s body. It would be a sign for everyone else to back off because Bill belonged to Tom.

The love he felt for his brother was awe-inspiring almost devastating.  
Bill turned and smiled adoringly back at Tom. “I know, Tom. I love you, too.”

Tom smiled back. He hadn’t said a word but Bill knew nevertheless.

“After I send my letter to my father I do not expect to hear from him again. The aftermath is done.”

Tom soon found himself with an armful of a shivering cold naked twin. Bill put himself in Tom’s lap and smothered him with kisses and teasing caresses.

“Boys? Are you up?” Jörg’s voice was heard outside.

“My father would never bother me about such things,” Bill said.

“He’s not your father anymore. You’re divorcing him as your parent.”

“True. I have to stop thinking about him all together. My time must be used for the important matter in life.”

“We’re up, Father, but not decent,” Tom replied. Bill’s eyes widened and he wanted to get up, but Tom held on to him.

The door flung open and the captain stood a few seconds taking in the sight of one twin draped naked all over the other equally naked one. Slowly he neared them until he stood directly in front of them. “So that’s how it is?” Jörg asked sardonically. “You’re life partners?”

Tom tried to look his father in the eyes, but failed in spite of his bravado prior.

Bill leaned closer to Tom and nodded slowly. “I love him. He loves me.”

Jörg nodded coughed. “Just keep it down, boys. There is no point in embarrassing the staff.”

“We should move out. Move into my house,” Bill said.

Tom kept quiet. 

“And Franziska?” Jörg asked.

“She seems happy enough here. Tom will be away most of the time anyway when we go back to sea,” Bill suggested.

“You’ll return to the sea?” Jörg asked.

“Eventually. Right now, I’m fine teaching,” Tom said, finally finding his voice.” Looking up he was relieved not finding any disappointment in his father’s kind features.

“This is unexpected, but looking at you I find it oddly logical. You need to reconnect. Doing it physically seems more than extreme, but then being a twin must be extremely emotional.”

Bill began to feel self-conscious under his father’s stare. To be honest, he didn’t understand much of what the man said, only that he wasn’t disapproving. “Thank you,” he muttered.

Jörg nodded. “Come down for lunch – since you skipped breakfast.”

Tom nodded, too. “We will.”

“Will you move in with me?” Bill asked.

“I think it would be best for everybody and we can have our love to ourselves.”

Bill nodded. “All right then.”

Tom smiled back and then he pushed Bill off his thighs.

Bill laughed at him and dragged Tom to the wash stand. Together they got him cleaned up.

Dressing, they kept sending each other small looks and smiles and eventually, they were ready to leave Bill’s bedroom.

As they stepped outside the door, they both knew that this was the beginning of a lifetime together.

 

End of tale 28. November 2010

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